FunnyBunnies12(Missy) Duckling Thread!

[katharinad]

I thought you had ADHD. Have a friend with it and 2 of her 3 boys also have it. It makes it hard to concentrate and process so much data at once. I know I wrote things over and over. I even got upset on the beginning when I noticed you didn't get it. After that I realized that you may have ADHD, and it later became clear to me. For those that don't know. People with ADHD are very intelligent, they just have trouble to focus and organize data. They sometimes get irritated, because they know they can do better. It can be very frustrating for them and people around them at times. It gets better with age. This sometimes leads to substance abuse, and alcohol is the leading choice of substance. Not all do go that way, but sadly a lot do. My friend is one of them. It got so bad with her that I took her boys in to live with me for a while. She refused to give medicine to the 2 boys with ADHD and it resulted in that they 5 year old was mentally the level of a 3 year old. I did get them onto medication as soon as I had them. They both were put on Concerta, a slow release medication that worked 24 hours. What a difference. I schooled the 5 year old one at home, because he failed Kindergarten over and over. In 3 month I had him to where he should have been and put him into school. He was the smartest kid in class. Sadly the children were taken away from her later due to neglect. She is an American who spoke German and decided to live in Germany where the welfare system is perfect. The government paid for everything including a vacation once per year. They are also very tight when it comes to child neglect and intervene much harder then they do. The boys were taken and adopted to other families. The children had the German and American citizenship, even with both parents being American. They were born there and she wanted the dual citizenship for them. Sadly the father didn't care to much either. All 3 children are now full grown and I don't know how they are doing.

 

[FunnyBunnies12]

Ok, you got me choked up Katharina. Thank you so very, very, much for understanding! Even my own family doesnt' full understand and think it's all just bad behavior or an excuse, some get it but a majority of it doesn't. Both my boys have ADHD as well, one with anxiety and sensory integration disorder, and boarderline cognitive impairment. He is my 10yr old, and he is a version of me when I was his age, the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree. When I was younger, I struggled, doctors advised my parents to put me on meds, well my parents struggled with that and decided against it, I didn't get tested or help until I started in middle school, but it was brought to their attention when I had to repeat Kindergarden, and brought up in 3rd grade again. But nothing was done until to little to late, when I started middle school, the worst time for a child because of peers and self image, social network, and it rolled into high school. From there on out in Middle school the only thing that was done was I was put in resource room, went through high school struggling and graduated with a D-, and self image and lack of self esteem. I am one of the few lucky ones that did not get into that group you mentioned about alcohol abuse(runs in our family) or substance abuse, ect. Instead my theapy/outlet are my animals, rehabbing, and doing what it takes for them, it brings me a sense of self worth, and when I can't help them, it makes me feel like a failure. My other son has it as well, he's almost 12 but his isn't as extreme as my youngest. But, we all are on Concerta. Sometimes I don't think it helps because my my anxiety overrides it's ability to work. But when I don't have anxiety, it does. I was taking Zoloft and it worked wonders for my anxiety and focus, but a lot of the side affects weren't worth it. So, I have to find other means to cope. So, during this past week of lockdown, my anxiety level has been hightened because of being hyper focused on what was going on with the ducklings. Hyperfocusing can be a good thing, and a bad thing, because sometimes the hyperfocusing can bring on more anxiety then need be.
Anyways, when I had children, I learned about myself more then I ever did in my childhood years through the eyes of my child(my youngest) when I got older and into a relationship with my husband and got pregnant, I hoped so much none of my children would get this, disability, it can be a disability but it can also be an ability. But I remembered how it was for me back then, and I didn't want the same for them in this day in age when things are so much harder!! But, they did.

But I made a promise, a pledge to be their best advocate I could possibly be without having the example of advocasy as a child. And as soon as I saw signs that things weren't quite A-Typical, I had my youngest tested at 3, and every 3 years after to currently. He was in the PPI program, IEP programs, and now he recently was evaluated again, and found having boarderline Cognitive impairment in academics, and most likely will qualify for special ed like i was in.

So, I saw this with great gratitude for understanding. It's hard, it's very hard at times. Especially during times when I try to focus and there are back ground noises. Especially when your anxiety is already hightened due to arguing with your adolescent child and trying to concentrate on what I'm thinking and typing and he tries to deny he has it, so even though he's on meds, he still denies it and is ashamed of it.

 

[katharinad]

Nothing to be ashamed of. Would you deny it if you had type 1 diabetes? No, you have to learn and to deal with it. He is a boy, so it will more time for him to come around. Just watch he takes it as an older teen or you trouble coming. None of the meds are perfect, but they are better then none. Have you taken lamas classes when you where pregnant? If yes, try the breathing techniques they have taught you when you feel anxiety setting in. Sometimes just sitting and taking deep breaths can do wonders. Yoga or relaxation training classes are also good. Do you like chamomile tea? It has calming properties and may work too. I drink it cold or warm and like it best without sugar. If that doesn't do it. Try to find hops as an herbal formula. It really calms and does not have side effects like zoloft etc. I wish they sell malt hops "beer" here. It is actually alcohol free and can be given to children. Does not taste like real beer but the hops works so good. Loved to drink that in Germany. I don't care for real beer, because I don't like alcohol beverages, and that includes wine too. I do use wine for cooking, but the alcohol evaporates so no problem there.

 

[FunnyBunnies12]

I plan on joining our local gym(YMCA) to help reduce my anxiety and increase my health, and take Yoga Classes that they offer there. I haven't tried the tea, should look into that. I'm not ashamed to admit I have ADHD/Anxiety, ect, and neither is my youngest, but my adolescent son who is in middle school and all about "Image" is. He is so afraid of his friends finding out and being an outcast. Boy, does that sound familar. I see a lot of myself in both my boys.