Furious with Ex...Need advice?

Welllllllll.....I know this is going to sound harsh but here goes. You KNEW he was this selfish when you had a child with him. I am on hubby #3. #1 saw his donor child once....in the hospital after his birth, brought his new girlfriend along too. Never paid a dime in child support. #2 told me I had to have an abortion or a divorce. I chose divorce. He saw his donor child once....when he signed the papers for my now wonderful husband to adopt him. As I said, you knew he was selfish. Your son will grow up knowing this, too. Just take what you get, speak only kind words to your son about his father and let him figure it out himself. You can't change how he treats him, you can just make your son know he is loved and cherished and everything will work out fine in the end. Good luck.

 

Sorry he did that to your son! I had an ex like that but he never paid his court order child support, he never called for birthdays, holidays or anything else. He and his family always made excuses and always had an excuses of why they were busy and couldn't spend time with my son.... then my ex took on 3 different girlfriends kids, ironically they each had 3 kids by someone else, he would spend time with and support them...Long story short kids have memories like elephants they won't forget the wrongs done to them and daddy will pay later in life.

 

Just remember any guy can be a father, But it takes a real Man to be a DAD, I am sorry and I feel bad for your son, give him a big hug for all of us real DADs.

AL

 

Quote:I am really glad your son has such a wonderful step-father. It definitey makes a HUGE difference. And I know how hard it is to accept how some people can be toward their children, but they are. Sounds like you are doing everything right on your end and THAT is what will matter to your son. Kids are so amazingly smart and yours has already shown you how perceptive he is.

 

Quote:Too true. Kids are very perceptive, remember everything, and I know exactly how it made you feel OP when your son said he knew who his real DAD is. And as he gets older, your son may not, on his own, "have time" for his bio sperm donor when he calls or wants to spend time with him and tell him so. Kids get tired of being let down, disappointed and slighted and when they feel they have a voice as they older, they start to use that voice. Some would even call it Karma. You and your husband are doing things correctly and in this type of situation, you never need to speak ill of the bio because he speaks volumes loudly on his own.

 

Glad your son is learning these tough lessons early in life. It will make him a better father. He has his "real" father who treats him as his son and that will be his example. The 'first' one who doesn't really care, was simply a life donor.

 

I had my DD when I was barely 21, he was 20 and at bootcamp. We never married, I would call him to see if he wanted to see her, everything I could to get him interested in her life. Nada, nothing, I gave up. Married DH when she was 4. He adopted her a year later. DD knows who her real father is, sees him at church occasionally. She has no desire what so ever to say to him, hey I'm your daughter. He wouldn't know her if she bit him in the arse. He last saw her when she was 7, random sighting at a store. He just watched her and DH watched him watch her. Your son has a wonderful step dad, he knows that. When your son becomes a dad, he will remember the love your husband shows him and how hurt his real dad made him feel. It will make your son a better and stronger man.