Getting married and moving out!

[urban dreamer]

So this October I'm getting married. And we're moving out of his mother's house. This will be our first time out on our own and I need some advice. What do you know now that you wish you knew when you first left the safty of home? Any newly wed advice? I have never had a place of my own and I'm a little nervous about it. Any help will be appreciated. There are big changes ahead!

 

[chickabator]

yep DON'T DO IT !!!! No I 'm just kidding it will be strange for a little bit , but you will enjoy it. No one to tell you what to do or anything. I loved it but was scaird to death at the same time. I will tell you this though. If and when you fix a meal for the 2 of you don't fix his plate he will begin to expect it all the time I made that mistake and now he won't even fix himself a sandwhich, I have him spoiled rotten, but hey he is mine and he loves me thats all that matters. Been with him now for 23 years and wouldnt take nothing in the world for him or give you anything for him lol. He is my best friend and the one true love of my life.

 

[urban dreamer]

Quote:

LOL! He's gotten fat off my cooking! I did cook for us yesterday and I walked in our room with my plate. He asked "Where's mine?". I told him it was on the stove getten cold!

I do have him spoiled. I just don't know what to do when we are on our own. We've always had his mother to tell us what to do

(and it's getting old).

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

Make sure you are financially able to stand on your own and don't ask for help. That will keep folks from "tending to your business". Be responsible, pay your bills on time, don't get into debt, live within your means. It will lead to a happy and secure life with your husband. It's a partnership...always discuss problems and issues with him and come to a decision together.

 

[PineappleMama]

First, Congrats and Best of Luck!

Advice Wise... Just remember all the annoying things he does now won't change.

If he leaves his unders on the floor for Mama to pick up, he's gonna expect you to do it from here out... unless you educate him.

Not that yours does this, just an example. But that about drove me NUTS when we first married. DH's mom was the uber-housewife... so he didn't know how to so much as boil an egg when he moved out. N'mind how to operate the washer. Took years, but we got there.

Don't let the little things slide until the simmering boils over... talk about those little things before they become big. Hard part is being willing to discuss your own... lemme tell ya... if you want him to be open and willing to change then you have to be too. But, if you both think your marriage is worth fighting for then you'll battle it out, then kiss and make up. This also helps, being able to discuss the little pangs, when it comes time to deal with the big ones. You know each other well, have open communication, aren't afraid to speak up, etc. So when a larger problem comes along you can deal with it together.

 

[azmotogirl]

Best advise I was ever given when I first got married came from my soon to be husband's grandmother (we called her Mommo). She told me, "Never to do anything for my husband that I didn't want to do for him for the rest of our lives". She was right!

 

[TipsyDog]

Define your roles early and agree to them. Discuss financial issues and agree on them too. SAVE MONEY - BOTH of you. Live well below your means. Always be his best friend. Wishing you both the best for a long and happy marriage!

 

[australorpchick]

If you're upset about something, say it. Don't assume he'll even notice something is wrong and there's very little chance he'll know what it is. This will help avoid blow up fights. Also, don't bring up things you've argued and resolved in the past.

 

[herefordlovinglady]

Each of you be true to each other. don't try to be something you are not, because it will get old and resentment will set in. tell him how you feel, men just don't think like women do and women don't think like men. show your love to each other. and say i love you ever day. it's a wonderful habit to get into.

best wishes to you and good luck on your new adventure.

 

[BoerneChickens]

If you argue - try to remember to never do it in a way where you insult or attack the other person verbally - you can never take those words back and saying hateful things - even is anger will build up and create resentment over time. Also the advice on saying when things bother you is critical - I am divorced and I can say that was one of the biggest contributors to my divorce - too many hurtful things and I never said it hurt my feelings terribly and after too long of that you can't undo it very easily.