Granny's gone and done it again

[Granny Hatchet]

I never wear them. drs., church (if I went) no matter .

 

[Wishing4Wings]

seems like they would do surgery just to stop the bleeding . You sure they havent opened him up ?

I don't understand it, but according to the guy, that's what they are trying. Might end up taking it out anyway. Seems like it is full of blood vessels, so not sure how it would repair itself.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

I don't understand it, but according to the guy, that's what they are trying. Might end up taking it out anyway. Seems like it is full of blood vessels, so not sure how it would repair itself.

they wont, he isnt an octopus .

 

[prostar]

I’m sure that’s more common than you think h2o!

So. Back story. My Oma (dad’s mom) lives with my aunt (dad’s sister). Apparently there was a deathbed promise claimed from the aunt while opa (dad’s dad) was dying that she would take care of the Oma. (Dad didn’t make it in time to get pledged such, on account of us living halfway across the country at the time). Oma is a diabetic, has lots of lows especially of late...but anyway.

While my parents were visiting, about a week ago the Oma took a tumble while going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The aunt heard her calling for her, she had apparently crawled from the bathroom a decent enough distance for the aunt to decide well, she hasn’t broken anything. Emails my dad saying well this happened but it’d be too hard to lug her up the stairs and into the car to see her doc, and she doesn’t want an ambulance since they won’t do anything, and she’s not bruising too bad so it can’t be that bad. Meanwhile she ends up having to help the Oma to and from the bathroom cause she’s a hurtin.

So. Fast forward. Almost a week after the fall. Mom and dad get back into town. See her and mom gets quite irate that the aunt hasn’t even booked an appointment with her doc. (They flew in late late Thursday so I don’t know when they saw her Friday and normal family docs are usually closed on weekends). They got her in to her doc today. Her doc said take her to the hospital. (Mom also confided to the doc about the oma’s sugar lows and how the aunt is having trouble coping with the care needed for the Oma)

Crap I don’t know why this posted early hang on to be continued.

 

[prostar]

Broken pelvis, cracked tailbone, dehydration and a bladder infection. Oi! crazy thing is, she’s already back home! But home care will be paying visits and dad will be on Oma care duty the rest of the week.

Mom is reacting to this by nagging dad. Dad is reacting to this by shutting down. The aunt continues putting family against another and playing the martyr. The Oma also pits family against each other. (Tells the Sibling they didn’t go to the doc cause she (the Oma) didn’t want to go for nothing. Then the Oma tells the doc it was cause the aunt didn’t want to go. Which, hey the Oma, that’s a good way to get your daughter investigated for elder abuse and get you sent to a home...which you have told us since your hubs died if you ever ended up in one you’d suicide yourself by insulin overdose.
The aunt has been telling her son that the reason the Oma lives with her is because of my dad (cause dad wants the aunt or take care of her). The aunt tells my Sibling that the reason Oma lives with her is deathbed promise to the Opa.

Meanwhile my dad...not a caregiver by any stretch of the imagination is having to deal with homecare and is terrified of getting stuck with the Oma (but what do I say if they ask me what I do?) and mom is doing nothing but nag nag nag and oi. My poor Sibling. She was literally between them for dinner tonight.

So there it is. Coles notes on pro’s family drama.

Thank gosh I am so far away. The rage at the absolute stupidity of it all is strong.

 

[Wishing4Wings]

Sounds pretty miserable, Pro. Good your parents got there i when they did. A deathbed promise is more like extortion if it's not freely given. The burden on a caretaker is extreme. The aunty must feel completely stuck; she should have some respite at times. It's a family problem so the whole family needs to pull together. I think how I want to be treated when I'm old, and that's what I try to do, pay it forward.

 

[prostar]

Sounds pretty miserable, Pro. Good your parents got there i when they did. A deathbed promise is more like extortion if it's not freely given. The burden on a caretaker is extreme. The aunty must feel completely stuck; she should have some respite at times. It's a family problem so the whole family needs to pull together. I think how I want to be treated when I'm old, and that's what I try to do, pay it forward.

No. The aunt has options. She chooses not to take them and continue being the martyr. She has more of a support system than my parents alone. She didn’t even tell my sister (who does also live nearby) that the Oma had taken this tumble until just before she went to go pick up the parents from the airport - cause she knew the parents would be asking about it.
The Oma is guilty of manipulation as well.
The whole family needs to band together yes...in a perfect world... but they don’t. Mom just goes off about how the Oma doesn’t get the care she needs but doesn’t want to take the Oma (I get that. The Oma and I...well. Let’s just say she’s burned her bridges with me years ago.)

Mom tells me they offer to take the Oma on “field trips” and random outings but the Oma just wants to sit around at home. She tells me how she needs to remind the dad about the custody schedule (they take her for dinner once a week and have or were starting to plan to take her for a weekend a month to give the aunt a break)
It’s a crappy situation. The aunt works full time, my parents are retired. My mom is and has been ademant that they are not to be primary caregivers. (Fair enough. The Oma is a bit of a shrew). As mentioned my dad is not much of a caregiver. He’d rather bury his head in the sand...

A ninja edit. The stress on my parents marriage with all this bs with the Oma is insane. That’s whats bugging me most. Is how much Mom is yelling at dad right now from what my Sibling is telling me.

 

[Wishing4Wings]

That's tough, Pro. Lot of stress all around. Sounds like it's a lot of old history for them, stuff from way back created the reality they live today. Not much you can do if no one is willing to take a different path.
Hope it get better for them all.

Gonna hit the hay. Goodnight!

 

[pertnear09]

Broken pelvis, cracked tailbone, dehydration and a bladder infection. Oi! crazy thing is, she’s already back home! But home care will be paying visits and dad will be on Oma care duty the rest of the week.

Mom is reacting to this by nagging dad. Dad is reacting to this by shutting down. The aunt continues putting family against another and playing the martyr. The Oma also pits family against each other. (Tells the Sibling they didn’t go to the doc cause she (the Oma) didn’t want to go for nothing. Then the Oma tells the doc it was cause the aunt didn’t want to go. Which, hey the Oma, that’s a good way to get your daughter investigated for elder abuse and get you sent to a home...which you have told us since your hubs died if you ever ended up in one you’d suicide yourself by insulin overdose.
The aunt has been telling her son that the reason the Oma lives with her is because of my dad (cause dad wants the aunt or take care of her). The aunt tells my Sibling that the reason Oma lives with her is deathbed promise to the Opa.

Meanwhile my dad...not a caregiver by any stretch of the imagination is having to deal with homecare and is terrified of getting stuck with the Oma (but what do I say if they ask me what I do?) and mom is doing nothing but nag nag nag and oi. My poor Sibling. She was literally between them for dinner tonight.

So there it is. Coles notes on pro’s family drama.

Thank gosh I am so far away. The rage at the absolute stupidity of it all is strong.

Sounds like an episode of "As The Stomach Turns" from the Carol Burnett days. Sorry about all the drama.

 

[MrsMistyReal]

You mean probiotics?

Yes but instead they gave him protonics, must fix that today