I can understand your apprehension about that, seriously.But my thing is (and the other reason I don’t like to call or even tell certain people in person) is I’m worried they’re gonna send me back LOL
BUT 1) you aren't certain that is going to happen and 2) even if it did happen wouldn't you want to be where you can get the best care possible and feel better emotionally?
We don't know what happened to make you feel as bad as you do at this moment in time but we can sure tell from your posts that you aren't in a good place right now because of it and it's been going on for many days.
You are like an unofficial granddaughter for all of us and we do care about you. I'm going to be praying for you. Remember it's all right not to be strong.