grannys gone and done it

[twisted-acres-farm]

have gotten involved by bringing in their contributions of dead branches and feathers. They also tracked in duck poop from the back yard. The poop was their own idea. Clever of them, huh?

For your information, we will be dining fashionably late. The grandchildren and dogs will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be eager to share every choice comment I have made regarding the holidays, shopping, and several panicked calls to the turkey hotline. Please keep in mind that most of these comments were made at 5 am when I discovered the turkey was still frozen hard enough to cut diamonds on...not to mention the many necessary quality control checks of the liquor for the rum balls the previous evening.

As an accompaniment to the childrens' program, I will play a CD of tribal drumming. If the children should happen to mention that we don't own a recording of tribal drummimg - or that the drums sound suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fine China or crystal goblets. Since this is Christmas, we will refrain from our regular paper plates, leftover takeout napkins and sporks. If possible, we will use dishes that match...something, somewhere, and you will get a real fork.

Naturally, the dog's will be under the table to make sure the floor remains clean. Bless their hearts, they try so hard to keep up with all the floors in the house. Oh, and the litter box.

Our table centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers I had copied from a picture in a magazine. The grandchildren ate the fruit for breakfast and the cats ate and bared up the fresh flowers. Instead, we will be displaying a wet hedgehog-like decoration handcrafted from the finest quality construction paper, glitter glue and assorted pasta shapes. The artist (aka grandchild) assures me it is a snowman. The dogs are totally convinced that it is a new chew toy. With a little luck, most of the dog slobber should be dry by dinnertime.

We toyed with the pleadant image of ringing a dainty crystal bell to announce the start of the feast. We quickly trashed that idea. Kids, cats and breakable are not compatible. We will instead bang on an empty saucepan with a large metal spoon. So much easier to hear above the noise

LOVE IT

 

[Granny Hatchet]

need to put the 2 of them together.

plumbers dont do fireplaces. If thats who you try to get you will end up with a waterfall and that suits me too.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

need to put the 2 of them together.

plumbers dont do fireplaces. If thats who you try to get you will end up with a waterfall and that suits me too.

lol then I also need to be a mason. I demand a wood burning fire place. hate gas and electric ones with a passion.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

I can put in a bidet and you can pretend it's a waterfall

or do a waterfall type of fill spout into the tub.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

pretty sure I can still wash my own butt. LOL I have seen those for the bathroom. they are very pretty I think. I am a water baby. small pond, waterfall. I have made them all. probably not practical in your neck of the woods ?

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

pretty sure I can still wash my own butt. LOL I have seen those for the bathroom. they are very pretty I think. I am a water baby. small pond, waterfall. I have made them all. probably not practical in your neck of the woods ?

no they work and then in the winter you can ice skate and fall and break bones. LOL water features only really work if you DO NOT have a pet door. I know this just from having sprinklers running in the back yard.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

pretty sure I can still wash my own butt. LOL I have seen those for the bathroom. they are very pretty I think. I am a water baby. small pond, waterfall. I have made them all. probably not practical in your neck of the woods ?

I to am a water baby when I hear it running for to long I have to pee. Thank you mother.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

hahaa, they just want to have a little fun !! Talk about a muddy mess.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

hahaa, they just want to have a little fun !! Talk about a muddy mess.

yep and even worse when the seasonal creek starts to dry up and get that nasty scum and dead fish smell and they go swimming. And none of them can go past a water trough with out a "quick dip in it"

 

[Granny Hatchet]

I to am a water baby when I hear it running for to long I have to pee. Thank you mother.

that old age. LOL I bought a table top one for my mom and when I went for a visit she had it under her bed. when I asked her why she said it was because she couldnt walk that fast. ie: didnt make it to the restroom.