Great DH, bad dogs! another update page 11

[chickerdoodle]

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I own the house and two of the dogs were here already and then I got another that some one needed to get rid of. I also had two indoor/outdoor cats when he moved in with me. I do not say my dogs don't stink, MG they probably do! I know many people who own dogs in houses that do stink and many that don't. Only a very perticular person that has never been around dogs or cats could possible smell. Yes, dogs do smell, but mine get bathes every week in the summer. Sorry not "getting rid of the mutts" No disrepect, you do have a point and I was looking for a couple people not on "myside" so I can just see how some others feel. Thanks for the imput.

As having been a professional in veterinarian medicine and behavior for many years and having smelled many dogs I can say some pets smell enough for humans to find offensive and some actually do not (humans have a decent sense of smell but no where in comparison to many other animals). Certain skin conditions, breed of dog and living conditions are why some are more odorous than others. My Belgian Malinois does not stink at all if she is bathed once a month. My Doberman didn't either. I had a standard dachshund years ago with a skin disorder and she DID smell bad

no matter what we did! My ancient terrier needs a bath every two weeks in order to not have any discernible scent.

I digress....
Those who truly love you will care about your feelings and will compromise for your sake. They will do what they can to make you happy. Those who don't will only care about what they want and won't budge. Sometimes people love each other but can't live with each other. All I know is that I could not live with a man who treated me and my beloved pets as such but maybe you can (although I previously explained what I did to our home to make life so easy--was expensive but worth it!!). If you want to save the relationship you both need a good counselor to help you proceed for everyone's sake.

Oh--and keeping a 17 yr. old dog outside for the first time in his/her life in my professional opinion as a behaviorist is cruel. sorry but it is true.

 

[Crusty McPottydoodle]

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Maybe that's why he's pouting.

There has been a lot of good advice here - not just for you Leghorn, but for a lot of people.

Good luck. Give your animals a little hug from me. You have a good heart.

 

[WingingIt]

It sounds like the dog that has lost it's bladder control is a big part of the issue. I can understand that from the point of view that if he has an accident somewhere and it isn't found right away it can damage the flooring and, of course, smell. I'm one of those people that can walk in a house or get in a car and tell you that they have animals no matter how clean it looks and how much they swear you can't, but I'm not sure your DH is, I think he's just not communicating with you like he should be.

I think you have to figure out a compromise that both sides can live with. That's what marriage is, right? Sometimes one gives more than the other, but both are open to giving. Can't the dog be crated when noone is home with those blue mats so that any accidents are contained? Then when you are home and the dog is out you can put one of those diapers on it. As for the cat jumping on his spot.....well....duh...it was pre-warmed and comfy......of COURSE it's going to get there.

All he had to do was move it.

 

[LegHorn-BusHorn]

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No, I find all accidents pretty much right away. I have ceramic tile in kit and all hard wood floors beyond that and its pretty easy to spot. When no one is here they are always crated so that not a problem. I appreciate your imput. and, I just want to say that you all have been very helpful in making me see the light, all things happen for a reason and there are no coinsidences. I am going to try to post some pics of the little devils! Thanks all!

 

[Califowlday]

I love pictures=) can't wait to see some.

 

[thebritt]

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I've done this with our chihuahua mix (my dh's dog) when she had broken her elbow. I'm not so into the diapers, as it seems like an easy way out of actually dealing with the pet. Every time an animal wakes up from a nap, it wants to pee. Everytime it eats, ditto because the stomach puts ptressure on the bladder, etc. Unfortunately, your dh doesn't seem to see the pattern.
As a sidenote, there is this AWESOME stuff called "DeMolish" that absolutely gets rid of the pee smell. Recommended by my groomer.
To second a lot of other comments, it's obvious that an old, short-haired, tiny dog is not going to be outside for any length of time. DUH!

 

[LegHorn-BusHorn]

Well I got to do more work to get the rest but heres my kitty!

 

[rainplace]

Someone said, can't remember who, "Stand your ground" and the other part was "to be fair"

I think the diaper solution could be a good way to meet him halfway.

The cat thing is just silly. Like in stupid silly. He's perfectly capable of gently placing the cat elsewhere. I do it all the time with my cats.

If he's still not happy after you're willing to make concessions, then I would have to agree with others that you may want to rethink the relationship.

Positive thoughts heading your way from the Puget Sound.

 

[Califowlday]

Oh your cat is lovely!

 

[Elite Silkies]

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The silent treatment is a control tactic. You are supposed to notice that he is so pathetically neglected and upset that you drop everything and take care of him. If not, he wants you to feel guilty and punished. I call it "martyr syndrome." It's when a person has the attitude that they are the center of the universe. Everything revolves around them. They never have enough attention. They spend more time trying to be miserable and look for things to be crabby about than they spend trying to be happy and satisfied with their lives. I call it martyr syndrome because they always seem to believe that they are the victim and everybody should notice that and cater to them to make it better. How do I know? My DH does it too. I used to try to cater to him. Now I ignore it. Guess what. Ignoring it helps them to overcome the urge to act like a big baby. Catering to it just feeds the beast and makes it worse. Trust me life is much happier when martyr syndrome is in check. DH is a better person now and we are happier. If he is doing the silent treatment, it's his problem, not yours. Go about your business and do what you want. Play with the dogs, sew, cook, do what ever hobby you like during these "quiet" times. Pretend you don't notice him stewing in his juices. Do not feed the beast. Do no play the "Oh what's the matter with the baby" game. No matter what you try to do to make it better, it won't help. So don't even try. The silent treatment is very disrespectful. It's hateful and mean. It's a nasty control tactic. If he can't get over it, then you may have to take a serious look at your relationship and situation. You said that your friends and family have mentioned the control issue thing. Having people close to you notice this is a huge red flag.

I'm proud of you, keep standing your ground. There is no excuse for abuse. He is abusing you, mentally. He does not have that right. You deserve the best and he isn't giving that to you right now.

Your dogs are too small and have never been outside. They will not be able to tolerate the heat. My MinPin can only stay out for maybe 10-15 minutes. Your house your rules, turn the tides on him.

You basically support him, gave him a roof over his head and this is how your appreciated. He makes a choice to treat you this way, and he too should be given some choices. I am a very strong willed person, and will never let anyone control me. Trust me, I had to break my husband in, but it can be done. He tried that control issue when we first got together. It didn't fly and learned quickly. We now have a wonderful marriage.

I also have a Dachshund puppy, that can't stay outside for more than 5 minutes. He just can't take the heat.

So, keep your loved ones inside and keep your head up high and be strong.

By the way, you have beautiful animals.....

God Bless you and best wishes.....