Great DH, bad dogs! another update page 11

[LegHorn-BusHorn]

Quote:
Sarah..I have made many changes in my life dealing with the dogs and other things and I will do my part to work at it to make things better for us. Life is to short to worry about the small things and he will have to deal.

 

[Califowlday]

Quote:
If you have nothing nice or constructive to say then don't say anything. He's not her only chance at love anyways.

 

[easttxchick]

Quote:
Your compassion is overwhelming! Perhaps she isn't the one who will be alone in 5 years...think about it...

 

[RachelFromTheBlackLagoon]

Quote:
Couldn't agree more!

 

[rainplace]

Quote:
This post made me LOL

You know, because game playing men are so wanted by healthy loving women.

To the OP:

There are men out there that love animals. There are men out there that can take honesty and can swallow their pride and admit they are wrong. There are men out there that say sorry and mean it and don't just say it to appease. There are men out there that will love you as you are. This doesn't mean that you never compromise, but that the BIG issues are what they are and will be accepted as part of the woman you are.

If I've learned one thing during my time on this earth that I would like to make others understand, it is this:
Most major problems that manifest at the beginning of a relationship and aren't resolved promptly, never go away and only cause more problems.

I wish you well.

Donna

 

[LegHorn-BusHorn]

Quote:
In five years when all my stinky dogs are dead there will be more dogs. Duh..I have all rescue dogs, never bought a dog in my life. And guess what? I wont be alone I will allways have me and my dogs.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
In five years when all my stinky dogs are dead there will be more dogs. Duh..I have all rescue dogs, never bought a dog in my life. And guess what? I wont be alone I will allways have me and my dogs.

AND you wont have to deal with someone living in your house stressing you out and giving you grief over dumb, childish, petty things.

AND...like another member posted.. Yeah, Men that play childish, immature mind games are SO in demand!

 

[cassie]

Quote:
Your compassion is overwhelming! Perhaps she isn't the one who will be alone in 5 years...think about it...

Ann Landers used to say that it was better to be single than to wish you were. Truer words were never spoken. I am married and have been for many years, but I have a lot of single friends, some formerly married, and they seem to be happy and are doing just fine. There used to be a club in town made up of a group of elderly widows that called themselves the Merry Widow Club. Meaning they were glad the old boy had croaked. As one of them told me, referring to her late husband, "He wasn't very nice to me". These old girls spent their days socializing, Taking trips, having fun, and making up for lost time. Most of them have passed on by now, but I enjoyed talking to them. They had a lot to say.

 

[Akane]

I've found people who cannot respect and tolerate animals cannot respect and tolerate me. I tried it for 2years with a guy that had no tolerance or understanding for the animals. Things steadily went downhill and he was always pulling things just like this except for the leaving for days since he had nowhere to go. The end result was me laying down the rules, him throwing a temper tantrum to the point he started to get physical with me, and his face meeting the wall.

I kept the puppy. I learned I will always take the dogs over the relationship. If he can't come to an understanding with my animals he can't understand me and the relationship is doomed. A good relationship shouldn't require choosing between the other person and the things you love so if I have to choose it means he isn't the right one and I'm better off without him. After "compromising" (me giving up things while the guy pouts and acts childish) in several relationships I realized I was settling for guys that weren't entirely bad but they were not right for me and I was not right for them. Aside from the first one I mentioned all the guys I was with really would make someone very happy and be wonderful to have a relationship with but not with me. Compromise should not be one sided and should not result in someone getting increasingly worse.

No matter how much it tore my heart when I ended a relationship it was the right choice. Now I have someone who likes my animals. I am going to give up a dog for him but not because he asked it. I've been in and out of the hospital lately, he's had to take care of all the animals, and he's getting stressed over that and my health to the point he's breaking down and bordering on anxiety attacks. Never once did he mention having me give up a dog even though he doesn't like one of the dogs. I mentioned it and told him he could email the rescue we got the dog from. He would tolerate anything for me and never say no to anything I want to get. Because of that I am willing to make choices and sacrifices in what I want in order to keep us both happy. That's how compromise works when things are right. Not one person trying to appease the other while they make you feel bad or guilty but choosing on your own with no pressure to give something up in order to make their life easier. Then discussing it properly with each other.

 

[Whispering Winds]

Quote:
My dear old mom use to say when a man was nice to a woman's kids (single mother) he was "feeding the calf to get the cow". Boy, your post brought that right back to me, and i hadn't thought of that one in years.