Many years ago, I initiated a very mean prank on a co-worker. A long-running scenario. Imagine, if you will, a group of women dispatching a variety of law enforcement, fire and emergency medical personnel. This particular woman was what we call a "badge bunny." She was gaga over any male in uniform, especially cops.
When officers visited the Comm Center, she almost always would touch them on their chests as she spoke with them. If they were wearing their bullet-proof vests, she'd gush about how safe they were being, and if they weren't she'd lovingly chide them for their lack of protective armor. We knew it was a ploy to make physical contact with them. She demonstrated other annoying behaviors as well.
Gag me. So obvious, and so desperate.
Anyway, one night I typed up a little note, "You have the nicest voice, it's like Sunshine in the night!" and wrapped it around a single, long-stemmed, coral colored rose. I placed it on the windshield of her car in the parking lot. (Graveyard shift worker, as was I.)
She found it when she left the dispatch center in the morning, which was her "Friday.". So she two days off to stew in the adoration.
We got to watch her ask various officers to call in so she could ASK each one if he had been the gift giver.
A week or so later, I did it again, with another typed note to "Sunny.". And another coral rose. I did this at irregular intervals. We all watched with amusement as she tried to find out who her secret admirer could possibly be. NOBODY knew. Literally, not figuratively. I was very careful.
One day, I went to breakfast with one of the officers she'd asked, and as I passed under the arm he used to hold the restaurant door open for me, he suddenly said, triumphantly, "YOU'RE the one putting roses on Debbie's car! That's hysterical!"
Huh?!?
Over our meals, he said he'd been asked if he was the "culprit" (his word, used with great enjoyment, not her word) several times. At first it simply floored him, but as the cops started talking amongst themselves, they all thought it was funny. He then offered to continue the prank on occasions when I did not work with her, especially during my upcoming vacation. (I had already snuck up to the parking lot on a couple of my days off, so the rose and note wouldn't always arrive when We were both on-duty.) And he did so, never telling anyone else about it. This went on for MONTHS.
Yes, it was evil. But it was so delicious. And it happened 20 years ago.
She finally learned to just enjoy the gift, without quizzing all the men about it. After she reached that level of acceptance, the roses only appeared a few more times at widely spaced intervals.
How did that officer know it was me? He said it just came to him at the moment I passed under his arm on my way into the restaurant. He said his evil streak must have communed with mine.
She was no less obnoxious with her doe eyes, touching officers to "check their vests," and offering to repair their torn uniform trousers if they didn't make it over fences without damaging them, offering to sew on popped-off buttons, etc. Etc., to display her womanly skills and concerns, but it didn't grate on my nerves all that much.
Yup. Childish and very mean, on my part. I'd do it again if the circumstances were similar enough, but I am now in my late fifties and thankfully no longer work in close quarters with any Badge Bunnies.
