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Conversely:
1. some people simply are not designed to take care of themselves.
2. some people are too weak to be alone.
3. some people need to control someone else or be controlled, and therefore can never be in a healthy relationship.
I absolutely agree with you. Add those to the list of people in marriages that are destined to eventually fail. If you can't be your own person, you certainly won't be capable of giving enough of yourself (since that person wouldn't even know who they were) to make a go of it.
In a good marriage, people are EQUAL partners. I work full time too, and you better believe I'm not doing his laundry, or washing the dishes if I cooked dinner. Most men never learn to check their ego at the door. Most women let themselves be made over to please their mate.
My dh is also in the military, he's been deployed before, and right now he's in Texas and I'll be in Wyoming for another three months. So I have to be able to take care of myself, and so does he. We both also have to trust the other, a key ingredient for harmony.
My dh doesn't tell me what to do, and I don't tell him what to do. If there's a question, we discuss it like the adults we are supposed to be, and come to a decision. Again, it all comes down to partnership and equality.
But, as I said, it isn't for everyone. There are always compromises to be made, and no one gets their way every time. Am I thrilled every minute of every day? Nope, sometimes marriage is downright dull. I had more adventures when I was single (or even just dating). But there can be a beauty in the balance, too.
I also don't believe all the gushy proclimations of perfection. That's not real life, even if you wish it to be. Besides, perfect is boring...
