Quote:
I get the feeling there are some who doubt that anyone could possibly be happy as a married person...
Truths:
1. Some people are simply not designed to be paired with another person.
2. Some people are too selfish to be in a relationship.
3. Some people don't know who they are individually, and therefore cannot be in a healthy relationship.
So, I do truly believe that some people are better off or just plain function better singly. I haven't spent very much time in my life being single, but I can honestly say the little time I did have, I enjoyed immensly.
But being married is even better.
I think part of the problem with your other conversation was the attitude of your posting. That said, I only know two couples out of dozens and dozens that are sincerely happy, so much cheating and lying goes on behind closed doors (or open ones). I was terrified to get married, b/c of the things I have seen in other people's relationships, but it's the best thing I ever did. My dh is my best friend, he keeps me centered and grounded. I would literally be lost without him. Is everyone's marriage like that? That's a resounding no. So, while a great marriage may not be the norm, it certainly is possible, given the right personality type and compatability. I've been with my dh for over eight years, I'll check back in another two and let you know how it's going.
I don't really believe in "soul mates" and I certainly think it's possible to outgrow someone. But, far and away, I think people become enamored of BEING MARRIED rather than of the person they entered into marriage with. I do think it's rather a female thing to want the dress, the cake, the "day" , and not care who it's with. Guys just seem to go along with it to insure they keep getting what they've been getting. That can only end poorly. When it's more about the commercialized aspects than the pledge itself, that's when you know you are on the wrong track.
Even being a *happily married* person, I am pretty cynical about marriage as it is now. I've just seen too many people that are miserable being married. Or people that think of marriage as disposable (going in with the mindset of "oh, well, if it doesn't work out we'll just get divorced"). Of course, I also firmly believe that happiness is a mindset. You create your own destiny.
I get the feeling there are some who doubt that anyone could possibly be happy as a married person...
Truths:
1. Some people are simply not designed to be paired with another person.
2. Some people are too selfish to be in a relationship.
3. Some people don't know who they are individually, and therefore cannot be in a healthy relationship.
So, I do truly believe that some people are better off or just plain function better singly. I haven't spent very much time in my life being single, but I can honestly say the little time I did have, I enjoyed immensly.
But being married is even better.
I think part of the problem with your other conversation was the attitude of your posting. That said, I only know two couples out of dozens and dozens that are sincerely happy, so much cheating and lying goes on behind closed doors (or open ones). I was terrified to get married, b/c of the things I have seen in other people's relationships, but it's the best thing I ever did. My dh is my best friend, he keeps me centered and grounded. I would literally be lost without him. Is everyone's marriage like that? That's a resounding no. So, while a great marriage may not be the norm, it certainly is possible, given the right personality type and compatability. I've been with my dh for over eight years, I'll check back in another two and let you know how it's going.
I don't really believe in "soul mates" and I certainly think it's possible to outgrow someone. But, far and away, I think people become enamored of BEING MARRIED rather than of the person they entered into marriage with. I do think it's rather a female thing to want the dress, the cake, the "day" , and not care who it's with. Guys just seem to go along with it to insure they keep getting what they've been getting. That can only end poorly. When it's more about the commercialized aspects than the pledge itself, that's when you know you are on the wrong track.
Even being a *happily married* person, I am pretty cynical about marriage as it is now. I've just seen too many people that are miserable being married. Or people that think of marriage as disposable (going in with the mindset of "oh, well, if it doesn't work out we'll just get divorced"). Of course, I also firmly believe that happiness is a mindset. You create your own destiny.
