Has anyone got an only child?

[bantymum]

Hi, My dear little boy, well he is nearly 9 is my only miracle child, I was told Id never have children, so I was thankfull when he arrived, thats a long story!
Anyhow, now he really wants a little brother or sister.
I feel so bad, I feel he is missing out. None of my near neighbours have kids and on the weekends I have to phone around to invite friends over.
He loves kids and has no problems mixing.
He has NEVER had a smack and yet he is so good to me!
I want to do the best for him. This talk of another child has only started today. Im thinking of fostering a child.
Mikey says I could borrow a DAD and make a new baby!!
I wish I could give him a brother!!.
Has anyone with an only child had this Chat before?
He may forget about this, ill see how it goes.
My heart is breaking for him!

 

[lurky]

That must be so difficult for you. Try not to feel too guilty. My daughter is an only child, but i was very lucky. she saw her friends with brothers/sisters and was glad to not have one. I asked her how she felt about being an only child, and would she have wanted a sibling. She said no way.......all they do is get into your stuff. Maybe you should let him have his best friends over more often to fill the void. He might just want someone to play with.

 

[firechicken]

I have a 5 year old son who will at times ask the same thing. My soon to be wife has a health problem and cannot ( or at least should not) have any more kids. It is hard to deal with at times, and makes us both feel sad for him.
But we just tell him because of health problems she can't have another and he mostly is ok with it.
But it can be hard. Just stay positive and hopefully they will accept it in time.

 

[texaschickmama]

Well, maybe you could foster or maybe even adopt. If that is an option. There are many children that need a happy, loving family. If that is not an option than invite a best friend over a lot and encourage that bonding process.

 

[bantymum]

Thankyou, I also have a minor health problem: MS, which makes me tired easily. Another child would take the load off in some ways but add some in other ways!
This is my little mate!

He looks so angelic in this pic!

 

[texaschickmama]

He is a sweet little angel. We are so blessed with these little creatures that look to us for everything. There are some days that I pull my hair out, but in the end WOW what a priviledge to love these little sweeties. I have a 5 year old kindergardener and 21 month old little diva. I also have a 17 year old, that is a great person. Yeah me.

 

[hipmarye]

I am an only child. I always wanted a brother or sister, but my mother couldn't have any more either. I was always so lonely. When I was in high school we had an exchange student that live with us and I was down right mean to her. I Guess I was a spoiled brat. Be careful not to always give him what he wants, but always give him what he needs. I think my mother should have given me more time than things.
Now I have 2 and they are at each other all most all day long. I'm always telling them that they're lucky to have each other and they just moan and groan.
As my parents age I think about how I don't have a sibling to rely on for help, but I do have my best friend/husband. I think your son needs companions not necessarily siblings. Good luck to you. You sound like such a loving caring woman. Your son is very lucky!

 

[bantymum]

Thankyou, its nice to hear an only child's point of view.
Yes i think he is going through a lonely phase, Im going to have to think of some way to occupy his time more.
He lives football!!!! Aussie rules ,but we have just finished for the season, he has scouts on Tuesdays, I may have to call in some help for us! and spend less time with my other children ,The chickens!!!though he loves them too!

 

[BlueDevilGirl67]

My DD is an only child and she has bought up the idea of a brother or sister and we put it to her very gently that if we were to do that then she would have to share mom and dad and then we would have to put her in public school because we can't afford to have both in private school. She decides very quickly that a sibling is not worth all that. She loves her school and all the attention that she gets from mom and dad.

 

[allig8r]

A few things come to mind... Since I am suspect for MS (they think I may have it and in early stages) I know that a pregnancy can accelerate the disease. So that would worry me. We are watching a good friend deal with that backlash now and it really is bad. She is now on permanent disability and needs in-home care. Her baby is about 6 years old--so it took some time, but still...

I'm like firechicken's stb-wife in that I should not have more. I have my one miracle (that I struggled with all the way through pregnancy) and that's it.

But we foster. My son is 3 and he really enjoys it. He understands that the kids are not "ours" through alot of delicate reinforcement. For instance, right now we only have one child--a 7-wk old little girl born to a drug addict. She was positive for cocaine and morphine (methadone) at birth (baby and mom). She is being watched for HepC as mom was positive, but we won't know about the baby for sure for 6-12 months.

Occasionally (not all the time), when she cries, I tell my son that she misses her mommy--so we should snuggle her. It's a gentle reinforcement that lets him know that I am not her mommy--she has a mommy somewhere else. Sometimes we talk about taking care of the baby until her mommy is better because her mommy is sick (a loose interpretation of her addiction situation!). But it lets him know that it's not permanent.

He reacted differently to the older kids. I guess because I didn't have to hold them as often--so they were more like playmates and houseguests than the little one.

But your son is a great age for you to have foster children that are younger than him and still be available to a wide range of ages. I don't have that yet since mine is 3. We've decided that we will stick to younger children since it is somewhat safer for my son to be the oldest.

Feel free to e-mail if you have questions. [email protected]

--Heather

ETA: My nephews are twin boys and they regularly ask for a little sister. I have another set of nephews (3 of them) that have also asked for more siblings--CONSTANTLY. So it's not limited to only children!!