Dear Swappee,
I regret that I am unable to fulfill your swap at this time. The girls are on strike. We spoke with the mediator. I have met all of their demands. I agreed to room service. They get their breakfasts delivered to their rooms every morning. They get their apartments cleaned weekly with touch ups daily. I agreed to renovate the sum rooms this year. I have met all of their demands, yet they conspire behind closed doors. I suspect they're debating also asking for hot baths and foot massages. Contract negotiations are at a stand still. Miss Claire in Apartment C(CL) has refused to go on strike and is still working. The rest of the tennants are treating her poorly. I think she may cave to the pier pressure soon. (I'm secretly slipping her contraband.) But the rest of the ladies are being unreasonable. If we don't come to a resolution soon, I'll just close the plant and they'll all be unemployed. Let's see if they like those Twinkies! Swappee, please be patient with me during our contract negotiations.
Sincerely,
CJ