have to say good-bye :(

[sourland]

I can't imagine how miserable it must be living with someone that you don't even like let alone love. Good luck with the interview. Going about earning some money on your own is a great step towards self independence. I married a woman who was "liberated" before anyone even heard of the concept. We raised our daughter to be a similar free thinking, capable, independent woman also. By working towards your own independence you will be setting a better example for your kids. Again, good luck with the interview, and keep your eye on that light in the future. If we take things one day at a time while working towards a goal, anything is bearable.

 

[sfw2]

Quote:
This.

And good luck with the interview!

 

[Spookwriter]

Some people simply amaze me.

I couldn't stand for my wife to be unhappy, knowing I could
do something about it. Unacceptable.

She's a stay at home wife. Has never worked outside the home.
But then, I work from home also.

She owns our home free and clear. It's her's. When we paid it off,
I signed it over to her alone. She's earned it. We've agreed to never
borrow against it, and my wife's will leaves the home to our daughter.

Yes, I live here. Do what needs done, pay for the upkeep.

But this is my wifes HOME....has been since forever. And I want her to
always know that.

We own another house in town. Bought it a few years ago. Nice neighborhood.
Offered to move there if she wanted. That was out of the question. Said she isn't
ever leaving here.

But for me to tell her we can't afford something she really wants? That isn't in the
scope of reality. If she wants it, if she needs it...my job is to go get it.

When we married, I guess I took it pretty serious. I took her to love and honor.
Not to belittle and look down on.

 

[Wifezilla]

You sounds lot like my husband. I feel a need to hug him all of a sudden...

 

[EweSheep]

Spookwriter, it is awesome!!! And you provided not only love and honor but security she will never have to worry about losing her own home. Bless your heart!

 

[HorseFeatherz NV]

Keene's coop :

i don't know how to change my title to say update, but here is one. i have a family comming in today at 1pm. scrubbed down house all weekend. i'm a little nervous. haven't been interveiwed in 9 years. my stomach has butterflies. i'll give an update again when they leave.

I am hoping it goes well

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Keene's coop :

PLEASE don't feel sorry for me. i chose to stay because of my kids. i have nothing to leave with except my kids and i have to put them first. at least here, they have the basic needs that i cannot provide myself, until my inheritance. so until then, i just make the best of it and live my own life with my kids. it's working for now. and we have road runner. and our cable and internet is one bill. only $70 per month. and as for the computer, it's old. i can't get him to understand that. i'm not talking 5-6 years old, i'm talking 15 years old. i'd pay it but i don't work and haven't for 8 years. otherwise i would paythe bill. i'm gonna keep comming until it's disconnected. maybe i can change his mind. but i'm gonna keep comming here as much as i can and the library sounds like a good idea. i'll just have to do it when the kids are in school.

I haven't yet read farther than this post, but you need to consider your kids and the example that you and your husband are setting for them in your relationship with each other--that is as much about their welfare as is food and housing. Your sons will grow up and treat their wives as he does you, and your daughters will expect that kind of behavior.

I do not know (or need to know) your income and expenses, but you should both have an equal say in your finances, and if/when difficult decisions come up, make them together, not one person dictating to the other. You seriously need some marriage counseling.

If you leave him, it does not remove his responsibility to pay child support, and since you have not worked for 8 years, you will also likely be awarded some amount of spousal maintenance for at least a year or two. Chances are your home (if owned) belongs to BOTH of you; there is a very good chance that you would be awarded the home in a property settlement.​

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

I don't know the issues of your inheritance (whether someone has to pass, whether a trust is already in place and you simply must reach a certain age, or what), but until you actually have it, please don't count on it. A will can be changed, the value of a trust can diminish greatly (look at the value of many folks' investments over the last few years).

In most states (possibly all) things acquired before marriage or through inheritance do not become community property unless co-mingled with community property assets.

Also, consider how an inheritance is worded, whether you are the beneficiary or you and your husband are. An old fashioned person might list the married pair rather than just their relative or friend.

 

[Slinkytoys]

Remember, with an inheritance you cannot co-mingle the funds. Do NOT deposit the money into your joint account, don't spend it on the house, etc. Be sure to ask your attorney about this and understand it, as it can be tricky to do right.
Slinky (who has a paralegal degree)

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

Update, please!!!

We are all pulling for you...