Help ease my guilt.

CarolinaGirl

In the Brooder
11 Years
Apr 14, 2008
75
0
39
Hopefully this fits in this forum...

Yesterday, a friend asked if she and her 2 kids could come stay with me overnight while they're coming through from TN. That would be fine... if I had more notice! They'll be in town in 2 days and I just cannot get prepared that quickly.

My guest bedroom currently houses my 2 brooders, one containing not so nice smelling ducklings and one containing my 9 chicks.
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Plus, this room isn't complete, hence the brooders being in here. I wouldn't sleep in here with the brooders and I certainly wouldn't put a guest in here right now (it's also my office where I am now)

But my couch folds out... however, I also have dogs in the house full time. All mostly small breeds and very child friendly but still, that would probably overwhelm her 2 and 3 year old.

Keep in mind, these are city folk
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Not used to brooders or anything really. They've never had an inside dog or cat, much less chickens.

As you can gather, I said no. Too short notice, I couldn't handle it. Plus, I kind of had plans all week.
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So am I being an evil friend? We've been close for years but my home isn't ready for guests. It's a fixer-upper and it's still heavily in the fixing up stages. Heck, I don't even have AC! (Granted, part of that is because I'm trying to be green and use other air circulating things but anyway!)

I'm just feeling super guilty tonight. Tell me what you would do in this situation
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I don't think you should feel guilty at all. If you were able to accomodate her reasonably safely and/or comfortably then OK, but you have a home that is not safe or comfortable at the moment for guests, much less toddlers!

Toddlers + big dogs + construction + fixing up tools, etc = one big recipe for disaster.

You could have offered to meet her for dinner at a restauant on her route, and recommended a hotel...
 
Thanks, I'm actually meeting her at the zoo with her kiddos and my niece for the day. She had no interest in my hotel recommendations. :|

And I was worried about impending disaster. My niece is used to the animals and such, but these kids aren't and I have a feeling it could get icky, fast.

Editted to add: you're fairly close to me, Arlee. I'm just an hour or so from Charlotte.
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I would feel guilty, too, but I'd have made the same decision. Take them out to dinner instead of making like a Holiday Inn. If you still feel bad, have a margarita and if that doesn't work, have another one. Repeat as necessary.
 
It was short notice and of course, on BYC, you always put the birds first (jk). If you had had notice a few weeks in advance and the room was done and you declined then, that would be wrong. But you should not feel guilty.
 
Since we've moved to maine we've been inundated with house guests...all people I love and truly enjoy being with. A lot of good memories, and few regrets...but last summer we put our foot down and only said yes to a few families. I felt so awful about it, but the expense of extra food, the stress of cleaning and entertaining, it was just too much.
I love having people visit and stay, but only when my family, my house and myself are ready. I've learned that saying no IS kind sometimes. Don't feel bad, but do tell your friend that "once i get this place sorted out, and the animals are all outside I really hope you'll come stay for a visit!"

p.s. the margarita idea was a good one too!
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I would do the same thing...

My best friend is OCD...she washes dishes before she puts them in the dishwasher. She cleans the house top to bottom everyday..shiver...

She came to my house and almost had a nervous breakdown. She was crying and saying, "What happened to your house?" Nothing but kids...Her daughter was basically climbing the couch to get away from the chickens...And screaming that she hated my house and my ugly door and the nasty chickens and that she wanted to go home...that's the last time my best friend has been in my house...she never apologized...

She did call when she got home and apologized...


If you still feel bad, have a margarita and if that doesn't work, have another one. Repeat as necessary.

Boy, do I agree with that...

All you have to say is that your house isn't guest ready quite yet, but maybe next time...and if she doesn't like it...I would definitely put her up in the brooder room...LOL​
 
Carolina Girl - I think going to the zoo is great - you will get to see her and spend time, but I don't think it's too much to say NO to house guests.

I'm in Concord - just north of Charlotte (well, we used to be our very OWN town, but now apparently we are just another suburb of Charotte
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Are you heading to the Asheboro zoo? I haven't been up there in years and I hear they have a fab new exhibit open for the savannah animals. I want to take the kids this summer once school (if it ever) gets out.
 

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