Homeschooled? how come there are so many on here?

[jonathansenn]

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I like these questions. Just from my experience, I have an aunt (retired teacher) who home schools her grandchildren. She, coming from a public school job, does allow her granddaughters to fail. I like you wonder if other homeschoolers do the same.

I think it was Thomas Edision who said we learn twice as much from our failures than our successes. IF you have teachers that care, either at public school or at home, they will understand the value of this.

My wife gets on to me about making my 3yr old put his own shoes on. I let him get it wrong and make him do it again. This takes time and he gets frustrated. BUT when he gets it right ... the look of acomplishment he gets and the feeling of being a "big boy" makes it all worthwhile. The same goes with my students in my classes and on my team.

I think it all boils down to the teacher and the willingness of the student to learn.

 

[PotterWatch]

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I think most homeschooled college students do very well. I don't think people homeschool to avoid conflict, but some do homeschool in part to avoid the kind of influences that can cause their child to make poor choices when conflict occurs. Conflict is a part of life no matter what. My kids do deal with conflict on a regular basis at home and within our homeschool groups.

Failure is also a part of life. My kids might not encounter failure by getting a bad grade on a test, but they do encounter failure when something they try doesn't work. They are always experimenting with things and often their experiments fail. I absolutely don't only guide them down paths where they will always succeed. After all, failure teaches us just as much as success. As Thomas Edison said... “I never failed once. It just happened to be a 2000-step process.

As far as peer pressure goes, that is something I plan on talking with my kids about constantly as they grow. They do deal with some peer pressure but not as much as they would in traditional school. The difference I think homeschooling makes is that homeschoolers are often very comfortable with themselves. They don't feel the need to "fit in" like some traditionally schooled children do, therefore peer pressure doesn't have as much effect on them. At least this is what I have seen in my own children. For example, the neighborhood kids here had a pack of candy cigarettes one day and were passing them out to all the kids on the street. They were trying to get my kids to take one (I was somewhere that I could hear, but they didn't know I was there). Several times they told my kids that they would look really cool if they had one and that since they were candy, it really wasn't bad. Both my boys said they didn't think cigarettes were a good thing even if they were just candy and they didn't think it looked "cool". My oldest even said "I really don't care about looking cool like that". They didn't back down a bit even when they started to get teased about it. My boys knew what the right thing to do was and they stuck to their guns. I couldn't have been more happy.

There are certainly opportunities such as student government that are difficult if not impossible for homeschoolers to duplicate. However, when I consider that in my high school there were 4,000 students and only about 20 involved in student government; I know that my kids might not experience that opportunity anyway so it isn't worth giving up all the other great things about homeschooling. They are involved in other group activities and will be involved in more as they get older. They might get involved in student government in college and they might not. I think that depends more on where their interests lie rather than the kind of education they have had.

 

[melissastraka]

I have been watching this thread because i am thinking about homeschooling at least one of my children. He is going to be in the 3rd grade next year and his concern was sports in high school. Can a homeschooled child still play for the high school team? What else can they participate in that is through the school?

 

[PotterWatch]

Participating in school sports depends on your district. Some allow it and some don't. Club sports are usually an option if you can't get into school sports. Some districts have fairly open policies about homeschoolers participating in different school activities and some don't allow any participation. Give your district office a call and they should be able to help you find out.

 

[FunnyFarmer]

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I've heard of plenty of home-schooled kids who did quite well in college. Most kids who homeschool through high school are pretty used to working independently--which is a big requirement of college.

Why wouldn't they have chances to fail? Most of the kids I know are involved in lots of activities and things don't always go smoothly. My son has been playing soccer for three years & has won maybe 5 games in that time. None in the last year. Homeschool kids are involved in sports, classes, church activities, Scouts, 4 H, all kinds of things.

And believe me, just because you homeschool doesn't mean your kids never have conflicts with their peers. My son has struggled to deal with a kid that's a problem at playgroup--and probably gotten more guidance than he would on a school playground. He's missed a couple of social opportunities because he's been playing too rough & not paying attention when he was asked to stop. We've talked about it. My daughter is well on her way to finding out that she'd better moderate her bossiness or she won't have many friends. We try to teach her that but she inherited my bull-headedness, so I think she'll just have to learn the hard way. It does mean that our kids have more help in dealing with their social problems, and from what I've seen I think there is less plain old meanness, but there is no lack of conflict to learn to deal with.

 

[Rolsjo]

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You bring up a very good point. I homeschool our kids and planned to from the time they were babies. I spent their preschool time talking with others who homeschool to find what materials they use and how they conduct their days. The one thing that bothered me more than anything else was the idea of tailoring the curriculum to fit the child. The trend is customize the curriculum to fit the learning style instead of expecting the child to adjust outside their comfort zone. I know when my kids grow up and go to college and ultimately start working their professors and bosses will expect them to do things the way they are told not however is easiest for them. We have tried to incorporate many different learning styles into our homeschool lessons so our kids are prepared and flexible.

As far as socialization and adjusting to college go I don't think it's a big problem. I, at least in part, homeschool to avoid bad influences my kids may find in public school. I fully expect them to be confronted with these as they get older and we will be talking about the kind of choices they should make. When I was growing up I went to public school. I was never offered drugs, never had to deal with violence and weapons screening. The big "crime" when I was in school was getting caught chewing gum! Now it's drugs, shootings, date-rape prevention and worse. I don't think kids should have to confront these things. An 18-year-old is more mature and grounded to deal with this than an 8-year-old. So if I can protect the innocence of my children until they are old enough to maturely deal with these issues head-on, I will. I think kids should be allowed to be kids.

 

[SophieLain127]

We've have decided to homeschool, well roadschool. I've talked with other parents who have decided to do this. Many of them have very well rounded children who do lots of activities outside the family. Even boy scouts and girl scouts offer a independent study program. You just have to ask about it. I think those including myself who homeschool do so to keep their children children. What I mean is that today's kids are worse then the MTV generation they are allowed to behave and worst of all act like mini teenagers. I do not want my child to be exposed to kids who do not know how to behave when given such freedoms. I do not shelter my kid from sex on tv or violence on tv and in the media. I do however explain to her why it is inappropriate. Even though I'm being a good parent by doing this I cannot guarentee that others are doing the same. Part of teaching my child to be a good citizen is to discourage this type of behavior. I wish all parents properly raised their children but most in today's society do not. I did a internship with kindergarteners my senior year of highschool and was floored by they way they acted and talked. Kudos to those of you who have kids in public school and are raising them properly.

 

[jonathansenn]

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Therein lies the problem in the public school systems. When I grew up you minded or felt the consequences. If you got it at school, you got it again at home. Now, we have kids raising kids. They still act like kids and not parents. I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten on the a kids for their appearance only to see the parent dressed even worse!

 

[SophieLain127]

I'm 24 years old and I see the people I went to school with and their kids. It scares the crap out of me to think that my daughter would have been going to school with their kids.... I know how bad the parents were. My generation is the "I'm never gonna hide anything from my kids, I'm gonna let them have all the freedom my parents didn't have,etc. "generation. I shudder to think about the next generation and how they will not handle their kids....

 

[saddina]

I think with many of the homeschooled kids, and all I work with, not only is failing happening, but that corrections are also.

Example, last week child D was doing subtraction with carring. she got about 1/2 of them wrong because she forgot to put the 1 on top during the problems. Instead of letting her hand in a paper with 50% errors, we sat down, maked off which were wrong, and reminded her how to do the problem. She then goes back to the table to rework the ones she got wrong. Here no less that 100% right is accepted, if you make an error, you go back and rework it. In public school kids can turn in F papers for days/weeks before a parent is told, and by then the class has moved onto a new topic without them. The kids here do 1-2 weekly activity each, dance, sports (YMCA, PAL and lions clubs all do them as well as schools), music, etc. It's part of being well rounded.