How do I explain this?

I have WHAT in my yard?

11 Years
Jun 24, 2008
Eggberg, PA
My 9 year old has herpes. Oral herpes that she caught most likely from her grandmother or her cousin, both of whom have them.

We've gone over the basics about tending the sores and that she is contagious when she starts to feel the tingle and she should not share utensils or cups when she has a sore.

She's too young for some meds and she doesn't have outbreaks that often.

But, I am heartbroken for her and how she will deal with this when she is older.
I know MIL and cousin did not mean to give it to her but I can't help but be angry. They are both pretty blase about having it.

How can I help her? Am I over reacting??
You have a right to be angry. No one wants that type of problem on their child. Sorry to hear about that. You could get the best advice from a doctor and he can prob explain to your child how and what to do.
Oh NO! not over reacting at all....I too would be mad and devistated at the same time....yikes poor kid and
for the uncaring irrisponsible relatives that gave it to her
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herpes of the mouth is basically a cold sore. I have had them since I was a teenager. I dont get them too often anymore. The virus lays dormant til something triggers it. Stress, sun, wind, getting sick. It happens. The worst part for her will be the teen years, when girls want to look their best and then all of the sudden YUCK a cold sore! There are a lot of medicines now that can lessen the duration of an outbreak. Some you can get OTC. I am sure your family didnt mean to expose her, but sometimes just a kiss at the right stage of an outbreak can cause it. Try not to stress about it. I understand you aggrevation.
Not sure what meds she is on, but I will suggest L-Lysine. I used to get Cold Sores all the time when I was in my 20's , they are a form of Herpes. My Mom (Pharmacy Tech) told me to take it, I am now 48 and have not had a break out in over 20 years. It is worth a try.
I have had cold sores since i was a kid...

I will only get them when I dont keep my lips moisturized OR if I have a cold...stress vary rarely makes be break out.. there are a LOT of OTC creams that work great will knock it out in a day or so.. because medications tend to be different in Canada and the USA.. I dont know if you can find it but I use Abreva.. all you need is a drop about the size of a quilting pin head (you know the round colorful ones)
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I would be somewhat upset, but sometimes one might have a cold sore and not know that it is coming up. Cold sores on the mouth does not mean she will get it elsewhere. I get cold sores about twice a year. Prescription medicine does help it go away faster (Aclovir)! It is more embarrassing than a real health concern as long as you teach her not to touch it and then touch her eyes, nose etc...and not to kiss anyone while she has one. One can pick them up from other places besides knowing someone that has one. The virus does stay alive a little while on surfaces.
My old neighbor had a bad case of fever blisters and I saw her kiss her baby granddaughter! I was so ticked at her and I told her to stop. That was stupid on my part, she continued to kiss her more all over her face while stating everybody has fever blisters. What a freaking idiot! I never had fever blisters or a cold sore in my life.

You have every right to be upset!
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Herpes, cold sores, shingles... pretty much all the same virus & it lays dormant in us for years (at the base of our spine, I think). I read somewhere that 1 in 4 first graders has the virus. I also read that it's nearly impossible to trace where your strain of the virus came from. I have no idea when or where I got it, but I've had lesions since I was 18 (am 38 now & still occasionally get them, maybe 1 - 2 per year over the past 10 - 15 years). Some of them in the early years were downright hideous, like a horror movie! And people were amazingly rude to me: "Uh, what's that THING on your lip?" so I have LOTS of experience with this delightful disease.

Did the acyclovir but I don't think it works any better than Lysine, and it's more expensive. I take 1000mg Lysine daily to keep the sores from occurring, and it works like gangbusters! I just take it with the rest of my vitamins and Rx - no fuss, no muss. You may want to check w/ a pediatrician to see about a dose for a child. However, Lysine is simply an amino acid, not a chemical compound, so it's probably not as toxic to the system as the Rx. A word about Lysine - for some reason, it seems to only come in mega-huge horse pills that are nasty to swallow & if you cut them in 1/2 they are even worse. Fortunately, you can buy Lysine in capsules (I think they have it at Vitamin Barn) and the caps go down easier. If she gets an outbreak while on the Lysine, she can take more Lysine for a few days to help the body fight it. I think I read somewhere that Lysine interferes with the virus' ability to reproduce.

Stress, sickness and sunlight can bring them on, so SPF 15 lip balm is always a good idea, even though it tastes kind of nasty. The frequency and severity of outbreaks lessens over time with most people, but individual reactions vary. I had good luck with colloidal silver too but I am iffy on the dosage so I stick to the Lysine. Lysine was cheaper and easier anyway. You're doing the right thing about educating her and trying to get her to be familiar with the symptoms of an outbreak. I recommend an "outbreak toothbrush" as well, and even paper bathroom cups. This is a chronic disease and it's best to face it like something that will have to be managed not feared. That said, you have the right to your emotions, to be P.O. 'ed and sad and concerned. Just don't let it consume you so that you inadvertently make her feel shame about it (the more normal you can make it for you, the more normal it will feel to her). While there probably is a relative connection, in the end it's really just bad luck. There are lots of worse chronic illnesses she could be having to deal with at a young age. You will both make it through this. Best of luck to you both!

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