How do I tell an eleven year old....

[lockedhearts]

My husband and I lost our son when I was 5 1/2 months. I had to deliver him, it was very emotional and just exhausting. I think letting him see his mom and see she is ok, and also explaining this is the best way to get him to accept it.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this, it does get a little less painful as time goes by, but it always hurts.

 

[ginormous chicken]

I don't know if the question was rhetorical, but the "coated truth" is what I would say. 11 yr. olds are smart. I believe in being honest... maybe omitting the graphic details. Children are smart, best to be honest with them and level with them about circumstances. I think seeing his mom will make him feel more secure.

 

[Delta2 23]

I'm sorry that happened to you and your family

Stay strong for them, it sounds like you're doing a good job of being there for them

I only just found out that my mother had a baby brother who died. She never told me before, and I'm in my late teens now. it was a bit of a shock to find out I did have another little uncle.

 

[sourland]

Sounds to me as if it was handled properly. My Mom had 7 pregnancies. Only 3 resulted in viable births. I know the impact this can have on a family. Part of me is still that "little boy" who never got to know his younger brother.

 

[caspernc]

This is the greatest group of people! I beleive in god and I know he wil bless you all. We brought Nolans ashes home today and mother, father and big brother are well and recovering together. Thank you all for the support.

 

[babymakes6]

 

[hunterjumper999]

here is an exerpt from "babycatcher" by peggy vincent.

Colin asked, “Are you crying about the baby?” and when I nodded tearfully, he said, “Well, you just have to have another one, Mom, because it’s a Spirit Baby, and you should be its mother.”\
I must have looked puzzled because he said, “Don’t you know about Spirit Babies? How could I know about them if you don’t? I mean, you’re my mom!” But he could see my perplexity.\
So my first child, this not-yet-teenaged boy, pulled a wooden chair to my side and draped his thin arm across my shoulders, saying, “Well, Mom, here’s how it is. See, I was one myself, so that must be how I know. Anyway, every woman has a circle of babies that goes around and around above her head, and those are all the possible babies she could have in her whole life. Every month, one of those babies is first in line. If she gets pregnant, then that’s the baby that’s born. If she doesn’t get pregnant, the baby goes back into the circle and keeps going around with all the others. If she gets pregnant but something bad happens before the baby’s born…now listen, Mom, because here’s the really cool part. It goes back into the circle, but it becomes a Spirit Baby, and all the other babies give it cuts. Each month, it’s always first in line. Isn’t that great?\
“So you just have to get pregnant again, and you’ll have the same Spirit Baby. If you don’t, though, then the baby circle will just beam that little Spirit Baby over to some other woman’s circle, and it’ll be first in line for her. It keeps being first in line somewhere until it finally gets born.\
“But it’d be a shame for you not to have it yourself, because I know how much you want it. So you just have to try again. Mom, remember that baby you lost before I was born?” I nodded wordlessly. “Well, that was me. Really. I’ve always known I was a Spirit Baby. I mean, I know what I’m talking about here, Mom.”

 

[enjoyin' my chickens]

I am sorry for your loss