how do you get rid of telemarketers?

Heres a good one, My father inlaw got so sick of billing and telemarking calls that when he answers the phone and if its one them he starts crowing like a rooster and they hang up. i cracked up laughing when my husband told me that.
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We have caller ID and only answer the phone if we know the number. We are on the do not call registry but we get tons of charity phone calls. We do donate alot but only to the ones who mail us stuff.
 
And another one did this, he got a call about a satellite dish one too many times so he played along with the guy but in this way, when the telemarketer would offer the dish the guy said can you eat out of it? The telemarketer said sir its not that kind of dish its a satellite dish, so the guy says well if its that good can i see porno on it the telemarketer said well if you like, i don't remember the rest that was said but i guess he went so far with the porno thing that the telemarketer hung up and they never called back to see if he wanted a dish,
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Also remember that time is money for a telemarketer. As painful as it may seem, keep them on the phone for as long as you can...they HATE that as much as you hate the calls.
 
I just had a call....

Guy says, can i talk to the female responsible for travel arrangments?

me,"HA HA HA...you're funny. We don't travel."

click.


Who's he think he is...insultin me and remindin me everyone else has a life but me?


me,
g
 
Oh, these are all such good stories!

I usually have 2 approaches, depending on my mood:

1) Just yell as loud as you can "NOOOOOOOOO !!! I DON'T WANT TO BUY YOUR CRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP!!!!!!! LEEEEEAAAAVE ME ALOOOOOONE!"
It's very annoying.

2) "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers on the phone, my husband is going to beat me for this, and he'll find you too, he's done it before"

My favorite was a guy trying to sell me something to "clean" my septic system. He got a nice lesson about enzymes and bacteria that day. Poor guy, little did he know he called a biologist.
 
My husband used to picl up the phone, and when he realised it was a telemarketer he would lay the handset down and wait til they figured out they were talking to air.
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Eventually, we would here the funny sound that tells your phone is off the hook....

Lately when we come home, we unplug the house phone. We have cells, so if there is an emergency, our family or friends can still get in touch with us.
 
In germany i used to answer the phone with " catholic watertreatment facility how can i help you " if i saw a a unknown number and a friend of mine did the "city of Nuernberg morgue" it always good us good laughs. Now i only have a cellphone and dont answer if i have a unknown number. leave me a message if it is so darn important. Of course a fake cough attack or a real loud whistle gets rid of them too.
 
The best was when my DD was studying honors Latin. I would give her the phone and she would try to respond to the questions in Latin. I don't think we found a single telemarketer versed in ancient languages.

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