How Homecoming has changed..and everything else

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by chicknmania, Feb 5, 2008.

  1. chicknmania

    chicknmania Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    Jan 26, 2007
    central Ohio
    Boy I just have to vent...my teenage girls are driving me crazy! They have been to EVERY Homecoming, Prom, and formal dance, that the schools have had, since 8th grade! And for every dance, they MUST have a new dress! For a while, I talked them into exchanging dresses with friends, wearing an old dress, taking the once used dresses to the second hand store to sell, using ebay (my olderst hated that one once she got it, even though when she saw it she declared it the dress she MUST have)... and on and on. But the arguing about this is endless. No way will they wear one of their own once-worn-before dresses, or exchange with each other. This time, my youngest daughter found a dress for $35.00. Whoopee, she started out telling me she could find one for 12.00 - 15.00. The time before, she had to have a dress that I paid 125.00 for, and another 25.00 to have it altered. My oldest daughter decided she didn't want to go the winter Homecoming. Then, she broke up with her old boyfriend, got a new one, and NOW she wants to go to Homecoming, and get a new dress!!!! No way will any of her old dresses do, even though her new boyfriend has not seen them, and even if he had, probably wouldn't remember. They are both going to the Jr-Sr prom, as well. It used to be that going to Homecoming wearing an old dress, or something from your closet, was the norm. We only had one Homecoming, in the fall. Then, we had a Winter Formal, and of course the prom in the spring. WhY has it changed????Obviously, the state of the economy does not apply to dress mfgrs or retailers at certain times of the year, anyway.

    AND...it's like pulling teeth to get my 17 year old to look for a job! We live in a small town, so they're hard to find, anyway, but it is such a hassle to get her to go and apply for what is available! My son worked when he was 17, and, needless to say, he was a lot less expensive, though he went to all the dances, too. Last time I went to look for dresses, I ran into a woman who said she had to buy her FOUR daughters dresses! [​IMG] Thanks for listening!!!! Does anyone else have this problem, and what are your solutions?
     
  2. @migocontodos

    @migocontodos Out Of The Brooder

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    Jan 11, 2007
    Commonwealth Of Virginia
    Been there, done this...
    JUST SAY NO!
    Put the motherly foot down.
    We (I INCLUDED) allow this to happen.
    "Get you a job, pay your own way for these little extra things that you are nickling and diming your parents to death with"
    The problem is not the kids..it's US, the parents!
    We are the ones who enable!
    And the more you say NO to little @^*# the easier it gets!
    Trust me!

    Edited to add...I call this "teaching responsibility"
    What happens when they enter the adult world and things like this come up...what you do MAX out the CREDIT CARD cause you WANT something different?
    Not me. Call me a terrible father now, but you'll look back and see I WAS RIGHT!
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2008
  3. valmom

    valmom Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I am eternally grateful that my daughter went to a slightly "hippy" school where it was cool to buy things from Goodwill for everything- even dances!

    I agree- Be FIRM! Just say NO.

    Maybe give each child a "dance clothes" budget for the ENTIRE year. They can divide it up any way they want- but if they want a super Prom dress, they will go easy on the Homecoming dress. And if they can't afford the prom dress at the end of the year do NOT bail them out:cool:

    Unless they want to get a job to augment their allowance.
     
  4. BantyChickMom

    BantyChickMom Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 25, 2007
    Henderson, NC
    I have to agree with the others on this one, tho I can't say I'm any better at it than you are.

    Peer pressure is so much more these days and I try to allow my kids to have some of what "everyone else has", but fortunately, neither of my kids go to the dances and such.

    The biggest expense for me is field trips for 3 kids.

    And it is the parents fault. We all want our kids to have it just a little better than we did and somehow "working for what you want" gets left out.....I am so guilty of this one.

    But my 2 older kids have started helping neighbors out with yard work, house cleaning, etc. to earn their own money for the things they want to buy.
    If they really want something and ask me to buy it, OK, but you've got to do "this" in return.

    I'm trying to turn this around, and it ain't easy.
     
  5. They want it because you will buy it.

    They wont get a job, because everything is bought for them.

    Times change, because parents change...

    Dont give in, good luck!
     
  6. Badhbh

    Badhbh Chillin' With My Peeps

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    My 5 and 8 year olds both work for their allowances. The only time that they get anything bought for them is birthdays and christmas [​IMG] if there's some little whacky IGOTTAHAVEITTTTTTTT thing that they see, they buy it. Thing 1 decided that she MUST HAVE these cowgirl boots. She had to give me the $20 for the that she'd been saving up. Then when she wanted something else, the money wasn't there. She was a sad panda who thought better about buying the boots that she didn't need. I'm goint to match her $ for $ on a wii that she can't live without. Until she saves money, i'm not kicking in anything. No $$=no wii.
    Yeah, they're gonna hate me one day, but they'll know the value of a buck [​IMG]
     
  7. chicknmania

    chicknmania Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    Jan 26, 2007
    central Ohio
    You are all right, and I have told myself these very same things. My kids do have chores to do, so they do earn money that way...just not enough [​IMG] And it is very hard when they have friends who get new stuff every time...it amazes me the number of kids who have not ever had to do chores, dishes, housecleaning, lawn mowing, or anything.
     
  8. FutureChickenMan

    FutureChickenMan Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Well, I remember one prom I wanted to go to and didn't have the $75 for the tux. I asked dad if I could borrow $75 to get the tux. His answer sucked at the time but I totally understand now.

    me - "Dad can I borrow $75 to rent a tux for prom"
    dad - "You have a job right?"
    me - "Yeah...."
    dad - "Well then, you should have thought about that and saved the money so you could go."
    me - "Yeah.. but...."
    dad - "No"

    And that was the end of it. If you pushed dad too hard you'd end up grounded. LOL.

    Money doesn't grow on trees, and kids these days don't get that. They don't have any concept of what is involved in earning money. And frankly it drives me nuts when I see my sisters forking over $$ all the time to their kids. Ugh.
     
  9. Stormhorse23

    Stormhorse23 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 22, 2007
    Indiana
    i have never been to a dance or anything. my parents
    wish they could get me to go shopping or want to spend money or do anything normal teenagers do! i guess im not normal. but wouldnt you love to have a daughter like me? heh. [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2008
  10. chicknmania

    chicknmania Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    Jan 26, 2007
    central Ohio
    Stormhorse, YESSSS!!!! I was kinda that way, too...actually, I just got a job when I was like 15, so I had my own money. Fortunately for me, my son is also that way, though he's not a teenager anymore...
     

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