How much freedom do your kids have?

[Mac in Wisco]

An article from a local paper on some teenagers that got in trouble in a small village in our area:

http://lacrossetribune.com/news/local/article_bca538b2-d389-11e0-94dd-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story

My comments are under the username "Mac".

Anytime there is an article about kids getting in trouble, getting hurt, or being killed in an accident, the comments are always "Where were the parents?" "The parents are responsible for this!" "This would never happen to my kid because I'm a REAL parent!" My comments are usually to the contrary, "They are kids, sometimes they get in trouble". "If you watch your kid every second of the day to make sure he is not going to get hurt or get in trouble, then I feel sorry for your kid".

How much freedom do your kids have? I have generally trusted mine until they have given me reasons not to. They are older now (20 and 17), but I did not watch them like a hawk every minute of the day and encouraged them to get out, play, and explore on their own. My wife was the worry-wart. I'd continually tell her to leave them alone with whatever she was concerned about and that they would be fine.

 

[geepy]

Mine is 25, and just telling me about the things she did.
She is still at home and I kinda know where she is, at all times, sorta.

 

[debilorrah]

With my son, I raised him as a single parent. While I let him have his freedom, up til he was 12 or 13 I was always there, in the background. 12-13 I feel it is time to let them make their mistakes and do the correcting from there. Turned out well for us.

I remember when my son was 16, and I cleaned his room out of boredom, and found a BUNCH of empty booze bottles under the bed. I lined them up on the kitchen counter and never said a word. That kid grounded himself for FIVE weeks before he finally asked if he could watch the History channel (his one and only favorite channel).

There are times that our children are influenced by outside sources, and not watching them every second of every day is not a crime, what they choose to do often is one though.

There is also the streaking at midnight story where our pastor picked him up......

 

[kellieg1]

I usually (sp) just read here on BYC..sometimes post stuff. But, this is getting to me... My son would go out and ride his bike to where ever while I was at work.(mid "80)

He had the boys and girls club to go to. They did a LOT of stuff. I don't what I would have done if I didn't have them.
Now when I see my grand kids I want to put them in a box and proteck them, intell they get older just becuse of the stuff that is going on.
But, I know that I can't do that. I would love to have them here with me...oh just because. Oh don't get me wrong when they are here they are put to work!

 

[kellieg1]

Quote:
I raised my as a single parent too. Had the Per say boyfriends but he always came first. I don't think he relizes it that but, he did.

 

[Mac in Wisco]

From junior high forward my parents only had a general idea where I was at at any given time. It was a small village of 700 people. I was around there somewhere... We did all of the stupid things kids do. I'm sure every one of us fell out of trees, nearly drowned, nearly blew off a few fingers with a cherry bomb, nearly had this or that happen... Yet we all survived. Save for a couple of kids lost in car accidents in their late teens, I can't think of anybody who drowned because they happened to be fishing down at the river without a parent around, got hit by a train playing on the tracks, or fell off a cliff while hiking and playing tag on the local bluffs. We ran around town, had fun, got into trouble at times, and were just kids.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I raised my as a single parent too. Had the Per say boyfriends but he always came first. I don't think he relizes it that but, he did.

I didn't date from my divorce, until he was 16. Well that was my rule, but he was 17 before I found one loser to date. Then I found Ken and the rest is history.

 

[Chickenrandomness]

Gosh! i'd trade any of you BYCers for my parents!

not really

but anyways, at my house, if i accidently forget to do something my dad told me to do, he says i'm just making excuses and i usually end up with having to do even more than i was originally supposed to do. Plussss, theres my older brother, and when he gets mad at me, he'll hit me. now its not that i'm a wimp, but i just don't hit back cuz i know i'll get in big trouble. the crazy part? i can complain to my parents about my brother always hitting me and he'll get off scot-free everytime!

last thing, a few years ago, my A++ student sister got an F on a like a test or something. Everyone thought it was hilarious, including me at the time, and she got off scot-free. just last year in school, i got an F in math because i never understood the lessons until after the tests. now i'm just a C student and for that one tiny weeny F, i get grounded off the computer and video games til the next quarter

some people think the youngest of the family are treated like royalty, but i'm here to tell you not all of us are.

end rant.

 

[Mac in Wisco]

Quote:
What "stuff that is going on"? Crime is actually down since the 80's. It's the constant media bombardment that makes us think otherwise. Instant news all of the time, most of it not so heartening.

 

[redhen]

My kids dont have much freedom at all....
I take in high-risk teens that have been in pretty serious trouble. Soo....yeah.... until they can be trust-worthy... no running around, at all.
BUT i do try to get them involved in sports or karate or the local gym, so they can do something with other kids... going to sign up for football tomorrow...