How-To Chickens Contest!!! (Writing instructions of how to do your chickens) ENDS JULY 20TH 2023

[LhickenChicken]

Mwaha.

I am entering by the way... Thanks for mentioning me @Blue Raptor

 

[Blue Raptor]

I am entering by the way... Thanks for mentioning me @Blue Raptor

Yeah! Can’t wait to see it!

 

[AidKD]

@Yard farmer @Bakbuk @Everose @SummerTheAnimalGirl @HorseGirlAbby @BigSis2 @Devyn Nagy @Mallards and Quail @Egg Snatcher @Sussex19

 

[The Birb King]

@bantamsrmyfav
@TwoCrows
@the_peanut_coop

 

[SummerTheAnimalGirl]

@Yard farmer @Bakbuk @Everose @SummerTheAnimalGirl @HorseGirlAbby @BigSis2 @Devyn Nagy @Mallards and Quail @Egg Snatcher @Sussex19

Ooo, this looks so fun! Will definitely be entering. Thanks for the tag!

 

[AidKD]

Spoiler

• mrskenmore
• Backyard Farm Momma
• hkisch2014
• EggSighted4Life
• Kimsole
• BrooksideHomestead
• CoopBoots
• Coco_lafonte
• Brooks_
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• Buffyenta314
• cute chicks here
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• Florida Bullfrog
• RogerChicken
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• TwoCrows
• CharlieBaby
• I Like Turkeys
• BornLastNight

 

[HorseGirlAbby]

Oh, you haven't even heard it all.....
View attachment 3552740
Wait till you hear the egg incident of '42.....

Henny Penny must be my Charlotte’s evil twin! They look almost exactly alike

@Yard farmer @Bakbuk @Everose @SummerTheAnimalGirl @HorseGirlAbby @BigSis2 @Devyn Nagy @Mallards and Quail @Egg Snatcher @Sussex19

Thank you for the tag! I think I’ll enter, but it might not be for a while. I have to think

 

[The Birb King]

@DotToDot
@Snuggie
@The Moonshiner
@Meri Maura

 

[HorseGirlAbby]

The first thing you need to know about taking care of my chickens is that they make noise. Lots and lots of it. You don’t need to be afraid, they are just expressing their appreciation for you being there to feed them. Of course, the longer it takes to feed them, the louder they will get, so do try to be on time. When you walk up the the house, Mr. Beard will start squawking at you. Don’t worry, this is just his normal behavior. The door sticks a lot, so you will have to lift it up to unlatch it. Yes, it’s heavy, but if a girl is able to do it, you should be, too. Deal with it. Next, after you hopefully got the door open, you will be met with a bunch of hungry chickens. The thing is, they are big fakers. They have food in their feeder 24/7, unless they were really piggy the day before. They really want people, so be careful. Once you open the inner door, they will rush you, trying to get out. Just push them out of the way with your foot, they are quite used to this kind of treatment, and will subside quickly. Just make sure not to shut Goldy’s head in the door, she’s not the brightest chicken, and doing that certainly won’t help her get any smarter. Once you’re inside, above all, DON’T SQUAT DOWN!!!!! This point cannot be emphasized enough. If you do, you will be pecked on all sides by 9.5 mad chickens wanting to be held. (The .5 is Gidget, she’s tiny and half blind and you should pick her up and carry her around so she doesn’t feel bad.) If you hold one of them, the others get jealous and peck harder. The only solution to save your skin is to cuddle all of them. And cuddling nine chickens at once is a hard task that I don’t recommend. So, just don’t squat down. Now that that’s out of the way, the first order of business is to refill the waterer. Delaware thinks this is her personal roost, so you have to lift her off of it. Don’t be afraid, she won’t bite you unless she thinks you’re holding mulberries. Then you’re a goner. But anyway, since she sits on top of that waterer so much, it’s covered in…you guessed it…chicken poop. If you’re squeamish, this job is not for you. You have to grab hold of the poopy handle and lift the top off the waterer. Then set that on the roost and take the reservoir outside, scrub it out, and fill it back up. The sponge I use is in the entryway somewhere, usually I toss it in the deepest darkest corner when I’m done. Then put the lid back on, and it’s done! Make sure they still have oyster shell in the small metal bowl, they tend to perch on the side and tip it over. Then get any eggs that are in the nest boxes, and pray that Holly isn’t broody. If she is, you’re screwed, and I hope you have good insurance. Any eggs under her are HERS ALONE and NOT TO BE DISTURBED or so she thinks. You have to outsmart her, and I would advise wearing a pair of thick leather gloves. Not to protect against pecks, but because the second she sees them, she will freak out and fly as far away as possible. Just don’t take the gloves off in front of the hens, because they’ll be terrified you took off your hands, and then you’ll have a real circus. Once you’ve got the eggs, you can put them in the little wire basket that should be in the entryway unless I left it in the house, in which case you’ll have to think of something else. If you’re lucky, I’ll have put egg cartons out there for you, but it’s a 50/50 chance that I forgot them. Oh well. Before you leave, make sure to count them all, there should be 17 hens and one rooster, and if there are fewer, you’re in trouble. You won’t be in too much trouble if there are more, I’ll just be excited to see my new chickens when I get home. Don’t try and touch the rooster, he will explode in terror. Penny and Bean are very shy and tiny, they will likely just stay outside away from the scary human. Dover will eat your fingers, if you wear anything dangly in your hair, Penny will eat it, Peeper will jump on the roost and squawk in your ear until you pet her, Bukky will sit in the water bowl and fall asleep, Mo will peck you if she’s in a box, and Charlotte is the cutest chicken there is.

But of course my chickens are all super nice and will never do anything to hurt you!
Your signature here: ____________________

Fine print: I am not liable for any injuries, illnesses, or lice bites you may incur from taking care of said chickens. Please contact your insurance agent for more information. I’m afraid I’m very well known to them, but not for any bad reasons, I assure you…

 

[DotToDot]

If you’re going to keep chickens, expect poop. A lot of poop. Some of it is from Chunker, who only leaves the nest once a day because she is broody. Very broody. She has taken over the entire next box. LB, Cue, and Lovelace have resorted to making nests in the perennial garden because Chunker is a big meanie. I would say that having more than one waterer is good, so those at the bottom of the pecking order can drink. In small flocks (3-7 chickens) it doesn’t matter as much. You definitely want to have more than one waterer in your flock of fifty chickens.
If you have a broody hen, wear gloves when around her. Oven mitts and a suit of armor are best. They will peck through rubber. When you leave to go on vacation, make sure someone nice takes care of your chickens. And let them have the eggs.
When feeding your chickens treats, make sure not to scatter it in grass, or by the end of the day, you will have no more grass. Just a barren wasteland of dirt and chicken poop, with little dents where they took dust bathes. I call it a chicken minefield.
Chickens are simple creatures. They eat. They sleep. Their lives revolve around feeling happy. Be more like your chickens, people.