How to convince DH to let me have more than one cat.

[maplesky7]

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aw man..i was wondering what you were thinking about for hiding litter boxes.

and you know.... you are asking all these crazed chicken people who you KNOW have soft spot for animals... i think you are getting pretty biased opinions.

oh but don't let that stop you! why not ignore your husbands wishes and do what you want and do what your heart longs for? How could he fault you for being such a loving gentle person? How could he harbor negative feelings about his wife disregarding him and disrespecting his wishes...at least he couldn't stay mad at you too long right? I mean, he wont' always use it against you...and remind you how disrespectful you are to him, right? This won't be the catalyst to all the other things in the marriage that lack communication and thus are not agreed upon...spiraling all heck loose, right?

and the reason i say these things because i was somewhere in the same situation as you. I went to the feed store...it was my then 6 year old's birthday...there was a black fuzzy kitten curled up on the feed sack....she picked it up and said mommy can we keep it in her tiny little pixie girl tone and her peircing blue eyes...I LOVE animals...I love cats...the guy asked her if she wanted to take it home....she lit up!...she said, mommy can I? in the most sweetest little voice....i said yes.

My husband was off starting his military career....something he didn't ask me about and just did one day when i left to get a gallon of milk. He told me...no more animals. He was upset when he found out...very upset. He still is upset 2 years later. I don't think he'll ever "get over it."

Now understand...my situation is unique. He met me with many animals. I met him and he rented a farm. He said he wanted animals. He since has chosen a different road in life. He can't stand pet hair.

To me...I'm the same person and he has changed.

My heart knew he didn't want any more animals...I disobeyed. I created more conflict in our marriage. At the same respect, I am a grown woman and never thought I'd be made to feel like a child when it came to owning and caring for pets.

I think it is honorable wanting to save the animals that are less fortunate. Yes, there will be costs involved for their care. You WILL be rewarded by their love in return. Can you and your husband agree to the decision? If you can then you, your marriage, and the love of these pets will be far more rewarding when ALL of you can come to a joint decision.

It is unfair to say...he gets a bike...so I should be able to get a cat or multiple cats. Though I have felt this way many times and am guilty for acting on these thoughts. I say, it is better for your marriage to sit down with him and talk openly about it and when it becomes a joint decision then ALL will feel much better about the whole thing.

I do not want to put a damper on things...I just want to share from my heart.

I do so love animals and would have more in a heart beat if it were God's will and I could house and care for them properly.

I have 2 big dogs, 4 cats, fish tank, and 20 chickens.

I used to have ferrets and would love more and my daughter would love a bunny. I wouldn't mind goats and or sheep either....and if I had more land...I wouldn't mind a couple of horses either. and heck...why not a beef cow to raise for my freezer? or maybe I could just buy one of the 4-H kids cows?

I really do hope it works out for you and if it comes to be that you just get the one that was agreed upon...just know that cat will have plenty of love to go round.

Humbley spoken,
gretchen

 

[Bettacreek]

That's when you pick her up as well, and come home and say it was a "twoferone". And, 14 isn't old, my kitters is 17. She used to be an outdoor cat, now she lives with my parents. She is starting to slow down a little bit though. It will be tough when she passes, we've had her since she was born, and I'm only turning 21, so I've had her for almost my entire life.

 

[AngieChick]

Quote:
As a military brat, I can tell you that him joining the military (and in effect enlisting the entire family) without a discussion is a much much bigger deal than her getting a cat. If you get orders to move, you move, no choice. As a military spouse (or child), you know you may get orders at any time and have to give up your job (and hope to find a new one), your home, and your friendships at any time. The impact of a 2nd cat, not so much.

5 years ago, an adolescent cat wandered into a friend's garage. This was the cuddliest, friendliest cat I had ever encountered. My husband adamantly said "no more pets", but I insisted that he go meet this cat, as he was clearly very special. 2 seconds after having Charlie purring, cuddling him it was all over. Charlie is still the favorite pet he's ever had. I wouldn't have taken the cat if he had said no afterwards, but he would have had a very unhappy wife. The chickens he said no to for a long time, but I was able to convince him by saying I would build the coop myself and be primary caretaker. Grudgingly he agreed, now he loves my chickens almost as much as I do. When we move we'll get goats, he is fine with it. This is major. He's not unreasonable, and he knows how much it means to me. I'm sure if your DH knows how much it means to you and that it won't add more work for him, he'll be fine with it. You may just need to take it one kitty at a time.

 

[coloradochick]

Conny she looks like an aging, overweight, moviestar with her black eyeliner still nicely applied

. She's a very pretty girl!

 

[Wifezilla]

I have a 19 year old cat. She sleeps a lot, eats, and sheds on you. That's pretty much her whole day. Well, begging to be brushed in on her list too, but mostly sleeping

 

[nerfy]

Cats in need tend to find me. Have found homes for many...but. DH said every time "You are not keeping that cat." Well, another made their way into my heart this past October. Yes, he's still here.
He wasn't real happy when I got 3 chicks last summer along with 2 slightly older hens living in a town that doesn't allow chickens. Yesterday, he brought home a young EE hen from my FIL after I was kidding with my FIL about egg color envy. I was extremely surprised, almost to a state of shock. My DH

You are awesome for wanting to take in any shelter cat.
Wish you the best in whatever kitty you choose.

 

[redhen]

i really think i must be a baaad wife!...i just do what i want....and if he dosent like it...

....BUT, that is not the way to be!...its just how i am...not a good thing for most marriages...but,you know what? i feel that i am an adult..it IS my house also..and i WILL do what makes me happy...selfish? yep, you bet! am i happy? very much so!...

...now, if i had a husband that fought aganist me over these things..well...then he would not be the right man for ME..i know that i am only going to live once, and i will live my life the way I want..its really that simple for me!......dont know if any of this made sense...

good luck! and i think you are awesome for wanting to give that cat a home in her last years of life!..you could not be a better person!...

 

[EllyMae]

Quote:
Ditto what she said.

And, let me add...when my dh has to be away with his job, I use that time to play all pitiful and get whatever animal that was on my list. I just never ask first, I get it while he's gone and then when he comes home, SURPRISE!

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Ditto what she said.

And, let me add...when my dh has to be away with his job, I use that time to play all pitiful and get whatever animal that was on my list. I just never ask first, I get it while he's gone and then when he comes home, SURPRISE!

ooh your good!

OR you could do like me......honey!, i know what we are getting you for your birthday, a puppy!

what? you dont want a puppy? well, now you are getting NOTHING! and the puppy will be mine!

...

 

[EllyMae]

Let me add...the stray kitten that showed up last year that he was SOOO against keeping, is now his pride and joy and he coos and babbles over him more than I do!!! It's hilarious!