How well do you communicate with your child's teachers?*UPDATED*

[thechickenchick]

In my sons prior school, which incidentley was a private catholic school we had trouble with bullies. This went on for 3 years. Me ,along with many other parents went to the principal and the school board. Nothing was done. Keep in mind we were paying very dearly to have our kids in this "safe" enviroment. Finally the 4th year, first day of school I lost it!

I walked to school to pick DS up. He came out of the school crying and holding his broken glasses in his hand. I marched directley into the principales office with my child. I was not my usuall friendly, polite, passive self. I was loud and direct. I reminded her how much tuition the school stood to lose if every family affected by this 1 child stopped sending their kids . I told her from this moment on that my son has my permission to fight back, not only for himself but his friends. She said we do not encourage violence here. Well maybe not, but you do allow it. My DS will not be bullied and he will not be in trouble with me if he stands up for himself.

The next day "bully" was not in school. 2 days later he was seen at Public school. I know that my actions were not the only reason this child was moved but it did help.

Grades Here we have what is called EdLine. The teachers are required to post all of the assignments evry so many days. I can check any time to see if DS is missing an assignment or if he did badly on a test. It really makes me feel as if I know what is going on with him. If I have any questions I can email or call the teacher on it right away. I love it, my DS hates it! He goes to school thinking every thing is roses, then by the time he gets home I have found out that he failed a test or is missing homework. He is not allowed certian privleges until said work is done and turned in. I think all schools will have this someday. It really helps .

 

[tabsmonsters]

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Our school does the same thing. The teachers use a color chart for behavior and the youngest DS at the end of each day has to mark down his color for the day, similar to yours. This year, my oldest DS's teacher doesn't do that. I am not sure if it's because they are trying to prepare them for Middle school or what. He has done fine in school the previous years, I don't know what it is about this year but it is the worst so far. I didn't realize that about the grades either. I realize this only midterm grades, but I am hoping we can bring his grades back up before the quarter ends.

 

[tabsmonsters]

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I am usually an easy going person as well, unless it involves my children and then I get upset. Our school has a similar system as well. I didn't realize they posted the grades on there until I just checked. I am glad that your situation was resolved!

 

[TaLani]

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Well, the way I see it, since teaching & grades are their whole world, then why was her teacher so non-communcato w/ me? I just didn't understand it. This is the first teacher that we've had a prob with - we've had terrific teachers up til this one. I know things can't always be perfect, but I tried doing things as they suggested and it didn't work. I know teachers have so much to deal with that I'm probably not even remotely aware of, but I would've liked to have heard something back from that teacher instead of the nothing I got. If they hadn't switched it to where they just have one teacher, my next step was to go talk to the principal directly. If I as a teacher had to give out an F, I'd certainly make it my business to at least send a note home with an explanation or ask if the parents wld like a conf. If there's one thing this teacher taught me is to not just drop it -the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I won't let things drag as long as I did again that's for sure.

 

[tabsmonsters]

You know, I feel the same way. I respect a teachers job, I really do. I could not do what they do on a daily basis. Having said that, his previous teachers would send home a note or write in the planner if something was going on. This teacher has not. The time I called her and asked her about the test and his other work, she didn't say anything! It also bothered me that on the progress sheet yesterday, the only comment was from the band teacher. Nothing explaining the "F" or any other grades. If I am not doing something I should, I want to hear about it so I can correct it. I am not trying to shy away from any responsibilty. If his grades are due to something I haven't done, I need to know. I will admit I didn't know that the grades were posted online. Yes, I knew about the site, I check it concerning their lunch accounts. I can't remember if I ever checked it for grades. That's my bad and I own up to it. I don't know if his grades are due to the bullying at school, something I am not doing at home, or his age. I just hate not knowing for sure. Oh, i wanted to add that he does have a different teacher for science and his grade there has gone down as well.

 

[ScoobyRoo]

Sorry about the bullying. I have a friend that had that issue with her son. It was amazing that what she told me. These kids bully when they are line to go to the next class, bathrooms, gym, bus, etc. I feel for the teachers. They are caught in the middle. They can't see everything and they are trying to express that they are educators not babysitters. I think they (teachers) have a heavy load to carry and we expect soooo much out of them. Yes, I do expect them to address any bullying issues, if they catch the culprit. On the grades issue, I feel that if you let the teacher know from day one that you are serious about your child's academics they will communicate better. They figure by 5th grade the child is old enough to pass along their work and/or messages from school to the parent. We are fortunate to have an on-line web-site to check grades anytime. I had a teacher tell me last year that Parent-Teacher-Conferences were a waste of time. She may get 10 parents show up and most of those that show up, their kids are already on the honor roll. We expect toooo much out of these teachers for what little pay they get. Kudos to them!
tabmonster, I wish you the best of luck and I truely hope the bullying issue is resolved. Don't give up until you are satisfied with the results!

 

[tabsmonsters]

I can't imagine what teachers go through and I don't mean to disrespect any teachers. If I have, I apologize. We have attended every Parent-Teacher conference since they began attending school. I want the teachers to know that I am involved in my children. I sign their planner every night. I go over homework with them and I called over bad test scores. I am not sure what else I am supposed to do. I did email the counselor over the bullying this morning and the boys are playing it safe. So nothing new there. Thanks for all your replies!

 

[Teach97]

Being a teacher I wasn't offended. Talk to the teacher before you talk to the principal though...nothing like getting blindsided. Let the teacher try to fix the situation...if they don't go to the principal. Bullying is a hard fix. As a teacher we can't do anything unless we see it...we can give talks about good choices and bad ones but can't actually stop something that might happen (kinda like cops can't arrest someone before the crime is committed) Anyways...at least your teachers are aware and it has influenced the bullies...they know they are being watched...lots better than finding out at a parent teacher conference that a kid is being bullied...but Johnny you never told me! Another blindsided thing... Grades! How fun...thanks for being involved...we send out reports every week with those kids that are making D's and F's...come talk and we will find a way to correct. Trust me if I had a parent call I would have been spilling the beans...It is also very easy to be failing early on in a semester especially with a couple bad test grades...it is also typically easier to bring them up than a slow steady decline in grades...Hope all goes well...wish you were one of my parents...by the way...it's my planning time

 

[ScoobyRoo]

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By all means, I know you were not disrespecting the teachers. I was just saying my two cents worth about how much they do. I think you are doing everything possibly right to correct the situation. There are a few teachers that don't seem to care and I think those are the ones getting 'burn-out' They are there for the paycheck not the kids. And I REPEAT just a few teachers. I have felt this way before. Ours are wonderful! As of now, they are still teaching without a contract. We were also the top 12 schools in the state to recieve 'Governor's Achievement Awards' Sorry, bragging moment.
Back to the responsibilty of the students, my son will sometimes fail to give me a note (floating around in his backpack for days)

Is it possible he is not giving you everything?
Again, hope this gets resloved and the teacher sings a different tune for you.

 

[tabsmonsters]

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I am glad to hear that! I was hoping a teacher would chime in and give me their opinion. I know I am not always right and I came here looking for ideas on maybe something I missed or should have done. I don't plan on involving the principal if we can resolve it with the teacher. I am hoping to get this all figured out tomorrow. Thanks for your reply!