I am offended.... should I be?

[Dar]

Quote:
you can give him bread and water and he will still strip the paint off the walls

 

[the Old Rebel]

I might be wrong, but it seems to me your issues with your parents run a whole lot deeper than just the egg issue. It comes down to a HUGE thing called RESPECT and it needs to go both ways.

I am in your parents' generation, so I can tell you that many of us were raised, both in words and, more importantly, by EXAMPLE, that the husband/father ABSOLUTELY ruled the roost. What he said was how it was..... period. Macho males got what they wanted, when and how they wanted it (much like in the animal kingdom). They treated their wives like second-class citizens at best and the wives and children catered to their every whim. Why do you think Archie Bunker's show was sooooooooo popular with the next generation who had gone into rebellion against all of that???

So your father is an overgrown spoiled, rotten brat. But he's still your father.

I would like to ask you to stop and think how you would feel if he died and you could never, ever lay eyes on him or talk to him or hear his voice again while you live on this Earth??

My Dad died when he was 45. I was only 17. I'm 57 now. Not a day has gone by that I haven't WISHED I could hug his neck or hear his voice or put up with his idiocyncracies or experience his laugh. I WISH I could smell the smoke from his pipe that DROVE ME CRAZY when he was alive. We weren't huggy people then. Let me tell you, if I could have him back even for a moment, we would be now!!!

So I, for one, am BEGGING you to take a step backward from this situation. THINK about what REALLY matters. SEE your father as he REALLY is - with all his faults and farts and warts and wrinkles and make a decision to LOVE him AS HE IS....... the way you WISH he could and would love you. Perhaps, in time, you will teach him something BY YOUR EXAMPLE. Your children will certainly learn something by watching how you handle this situation. Trust me, if you continue to think about your father and treat him the way you are, it WILL come back around on you with your own children. I've seen the same kind of thing over and over and over again. If YOU learn to walk in love, the people around you will be drawn closer to love because of you. Love will come back around on you. But if you walk in ANYTHING else - greed, lust, anger, jealousy, fear, intimidation, control, WHATEVER - that is what will come back to you in Life.

I know we all need to vent about people and things in our lives. And this post has been "fun", because people have identified with you and your frustrations and struggles. I identify with you and your frustrations and struggles.

But losing someone you care about (whether you know you do or not) suddenly tends to change your perspective on things. I just don't want something to happen to either one of your parents and you having to live with all of the regrets of a selfish, self-centered life (like I did after my Dad died). Trust me, the regrets can be killer.

Good luck to you. I am praying for all of you.

With God's GREAT LOVE with which He loves us all,
the Old Rebel

 

[Dar]

Quote:
WOW arm chair Dr. Phil moment here?

FYI... my dad is physically abusive... verbally abusive and emotionally abusive... and thats all I will say.... sorry you miss your dad... but I dont have warm and fuzzy feelings about mine... I am housing them on the weekends cause of my mom... she is the greatest person on the face of this earth... I am looking after their dog for the same reasons.... none of this is for my dad... my kids hide from him... so you are right.. they have learned why I HATE holidays... they learned why we never go to grandmas house. My kids have learned you will end up old and lonely if you have no tolerance of other people if you cant accept we are all different, (colours and weights, ect) My kids have learned to respect others and tolerate others they may not agree with.

 

[newfoundland]

So sorry Dar, I feel my reply was insensitive and flippant under the circumstances. I'm sorry your relationship with your dad isn't happier, but you are doing all you can to help your lovely mum and that will be a comfort to you. Keep your chin up!

 

[Mattemma]

Lol. I would want to switch out the eggs too and really see if it is causing gas. Now I do recall my dh gets gassy from the tap water in my moms city so I guess free range eggs SOMEHOW could make a person farty.

Have not read the whole thread yet as I gotta get the kids up and pets tended too. Just wanted to give a *hug*. My dad was abusive.Took my mom till I was 9-ish to finally get away from him.Luckily we all survived despite some hitman drama.Sad than people feel the need to hurt others.

 

[ARose4Heaven]

Quote:
I spent 21 years married to a man like your dad. When he unexpectedly and fortuitously died, at only 40, my sons and myself experienced a huge feeling of relief.

Are there things we miss about him? YES! Would we want him back? NO!, not the way he was. Every abusive, overbearing, stubborn, idiot of a man has his good days. Unfortunately, they do NOT make up for the bad. However, having been in your mother's shoes, I say to you...deal with him. It is temporary. Your mother NEEDS you! This time may be the only time in her married life that she gets to live in a home where true love is.

As for the dog..."oh no!, Dad, your dog got outside and we don't know where he is!" You won't be lying...how could you know what the Humane Society did with it?

 

[SillyChicken]

ehh... don't sweat the small stuff. Let them buy what they want and keep them happy while their there. Who cares... it's just eggs.

The dogs behavior however, would not be tolerated. He would be crated inside or kenneled outside. It is pretty rude for them to allow their dog to ruin your home.

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

Your dad isn't lying to you. I have the same issue with eating farm eggs. I can eat eggs from the store just fine but the farm eggs taste so darn good!

 

[babylady4]

I understand the tolerance of bad behavior....... but lock the dang dog up, or let it go. The eggs they can take with them; put them in his suitcase.

 

[PineappleMama]

Quote:
Yet it's tastey to eat the female's reproductive ingredients... gotta love the logic.

My SIL was rather horrified to find out the part of the (store bought, non fertilized) eggs that she's been taking the trouble to remove for YEARS was not in fact a 'baby chicken' but was instead just tissue to keep the yolk in place... judging by the "City Slicker" topic she's not the only one who's thought that.

I wouldn't be that upset about it... what would bug ME is that they're ranting about the nastiness of your eggs in front of your kids and might sway THEM to their beliefs... SIL (yup same one) has had a devil of a time getting her two growing boys to eat healthy because their dad... OMG pickiest eater EVER. Potatoes... Meat (but only certain cuts)... Corn, but ONLY Green Giant Shoepeg... and Campbell's chicken noodle soup NOT adding a can of water... that's about it. And his boys were following right in his footsteps and figuring mom must be nuts when she said that they NEEDED to eat other things or they'd get sick, not be strong/tall, etc because they're dad is okay and is 6'4" with that diet. Afraid I'd have smacked him upside the head years ago... SO glad my DH isn't picky like that.