I don't know what I'm going to do

[Krysstyllanthrox]

Nikki,

I got to the post about you considering adoption and skipped all of the remaining posts so I could reply to you. I apologize if I miss anything.

First, your (soon to be ex) husband is a dillweed. Any man that would leave his pregnant wife is a coward, plain and simple.

I'm a woman that may not be able to have children of her own. I have severe PCOS that means I don't ovulate, and the one pregnancy I did manage ended in a miscarriage due to my hormones being wrong. I'm on medication to treat it, but none of us are sure how much it will help, health or fertility-wise. My husband and I have talked about adopting because we are both determined to be parents, one way or another.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being such a caring, considerate, generous person in the midst of such horrible pain. I have nothing but deep, sincere admiration for a woman that can carry a child to term and let them lead a life that will give them opportunities the parent(s) may not have. Such generous women have given me cousins that I deeply love.

No matter what you (and the baby's father) decide to do I admire you for the love you've shown to your child, already thinking about what is best for it.

If you choose to follow through on the adoption path, there are resources out there to help protect both you and the adoptive parents. If you need help finding these, let me know and I'll track down some of the ones I've looked into.

Best Wishes,
Haley

 

[maplesky7]

Hello Monarc,
I've been sitting on this since I read your post earlier today.

I am somewhat in a similar situation as you in one way or another. I have 2 little girls and he's decided he's done... I received the "d" papers last sat. Though he pretty much abandoned us when he joined the army in 2006 when my girls were 5 and 8 months old. I kept holding on to some kind of hope but in my heart I knew he wasn't coming back.

If you want to talk to me, I would be happy to talk to you...just throw me a pm if you like.

hugs for you and your baby,
gretch

 

[suburbanminifarm]

I am soooooo sorry! I wish I could help you more. Your soon to be Ex is NOT a real man. Period. From this day forward listen only to his actions, never his words.

 

[ams3651]

Im not going to rehash my lifes story, the gist of it is Ive been a single mom. Twice, both times by no choice of mine. This time, after 10 years with him and a 7 year old son. My ex didnt want the child from the start but I did and Ive basically raised him my self anyway. All I can say is stay strong, I still break down in private sometimes but only allow myself a short time of it. Can you lean to drive? Your lawyer may be able to have him buy you a car so you can support yourself. It will be ok. It may not seem so right now but everything works out, if you believe, pray for guidance and support.

 

[Ashmeade]

Sorry I have not had time to read all the posts but just wanted to say hang in there and I am betting that you are stronger than you think and I PROMISE you that if you just keep moving forward and hang in there you WILL get through this.

I would suggest to get a lawyer ASAP. If you have not been working, your husband owes you a great deal more than just child support. He is obligated to assist you to get to a point of where you can adequately support yourself and you are entitled to support to get there.

As for friends, I would highly recommend counsling. There are things offered thru social services or your local health department__or maybe even church groups that can help you and provide moral support as well.

whatever you decide to do, do what is best for you and your baby and hang in there! The rest will follow__promise!

 

[goobhen]

Sorry that you are going through all this! Just wanted to mention this to you; in certain states you cannot get a divorce while you are pregnant. Check and see if that is the way your state divorce laws are! God bless, Theresa

 

[onthespot]

Oh Nikki! SOoo Sorry this is the way he chose! He is leaving a beautiful loving wife, and a baby that will think he is the center of the universe and the one thing he can be most proud of, a family is the best motvator of a man that there is I think. Many a so-so guy has become a strong man when their family came to be. Sorry he chose to run away from his greatest life blessing.

You have gotten a LOT of good advice here. Take it. ESPECIALLY about getting an attorney right NOW. A lot of what happens from here on out is out of his control, whether he likes it or not. Don't trust ANYTHING he says, unless he puts it in writing and signs it in ink, dates it and hands it to you. Even then, mail a copy to a friend or something. He does not act trustworthy, therefor do not trust him. Good luck in whatever you choose. We are here for you.
There are a lot of different ways this could play out for you, but I don't see any potential scenario for your future that does not involve you getting training and getting a decent paying job. Just do it. Fighting that part of your future will only cripple you and your baby's standard of living. There ARE a lot of jobs out there, maybe not on the side of a mountain in the woods. You may have to go where the jobs are... I know it is intimidating, but you can do it and WILL do it, whether you like it or not. The more you fight it, the worse job you will end up with. Look on this as an opportunity rather than a crisis. Good choices make good luck. We all love you and support you.
Patty

 

[dlhunicorn]

I know he will do his part financially I do trust him to do that. He's already offering me money to keep me a float here. I feel like trash taking it,...

Quote:
Yes I do. I told him that by divorcing me more than likely it will tear me out of the insurance, and he said that he will find out for sure and if it does he will wait until the baby is born and I assume just put the baby on it which is fine.

...and just WHO is going to take care of things if YOU get sick ,,,hmmm???? and who/how to pay for it if you agree to only have him put your child on his insurance? This is why you need a separate lawyer for YOUR interests (and RIGHTS!)
Make sure you don't allow him to talk you into ONE lawer for doing the divorce.
>I stopped reading here (above quote) >Sorry but you need some professional advice FAST ...forgive me for being blunt, you sound a real sweetheart but girl you need to start living in the 21st century... go to www.dr.phil.com post a line to this thread and see if you cant get help there as I dont think there is any counseling possibilities in your area.
(((hugs)))​

 

[jafo]

DUMP HIM,,,,,,,,,,,totally!

 

[Mahonri]

Wow Nikki,

Prayers and thoughts headed your way from here.