I don't know what I'm going to do

[McCord6]

Im entering my 3rd trimster now. I'm more then willing to be your "PREGGY BUDDY!"

Need someone to talk to, call me up anytime. Don't worry about the JERK, you don't need him. Us, women, are strong and we can handle anything. Times will be tough but they will get better.

 

[tonini3059]

I am terribly sorry you have to go through this Niki. You have to do what you feel is right, do not make any rash decisions right now, take time breathe and just relax. You can and will get through this I know it seems tough but you are a smart/tough girl you are just emotional right now.
Do not under any circumstances get back with him if he would come to his senses and realize what he is missing. If he is leaving you now at the time you need him the most he will most likely do it again.
If you really feel adoption is the best choice then just pick up some pamphlets and read up on it before you decide. I watched an episode of 16 and pregnant, where the couple got to decide whom to give their baby to and meet with them and everything.
I wish I lived closer and could be there for you. I feel your aloneness.I know how you feel about not having any friends. I always had my mom there for me, she is my best friend and we do everything together, but she is not going to be here much longer. I do talk to people at my work , but that is as far as it goes i liked just having my mom and hubby.
I wish you all the best and if you need to vent I have a good ear.
Brandy

 

[pokey]

Oh, i am so sorry. YES the baby will be worth 1 million times worrying about him. Take it from me, i thought the world was going to end when my ex husband left. Now i wonder why i didn't help his sorry

pack years before!!! HONEY, TAKE A BREATH, THANK GOD FOR YOUR BABY AND START A BRAND NEW LIFE!!! ITS WONDERFUL, and you'll have a few bumps... but that's what attorneys are for, it will all work out. trust me, it was hard at first, but pray, believe and get rid of the deadbeat. many prayers for you .

 

[Funky Feathers]

That's horrible! I'd be there to help you if I weren't so far away. I am here if you need someone to talk to. PM me if you need to talk.

 

[newhope]

Please protect youself and your unborn child by documenting both your exes words and actions. The following suggestions are not being offered as legal advice. You will need to hire a Lawyer conversant in Family Law and capapable of practicing in your state for proper legal advice and representation. But still, please do not rely on your ex saying he will behave in a certain manner (because he always behaved a certain way in the past). He may not behave in the same way going forward. Document both your and his agreements; exchanges; and/ or acceptances of cash, goods, etc. Document your conversations and attempts at mediation.When possible insist that you both sign all such wriitings. At this point you're just building a case and the more reliable documentation you can supply to your attorny and/or the court the better.
Stay strong going forward.

 

[JewellFarm]

Go get a lawyer, do not wait, do not listen to what he is telling you. I know you want to believe that he has your and the babies best interest at heart, but think about it, this is the man that left you high and dry because you are pregnant. Do not feel bad for taking money from him, that money is rightfully yours. It's time to stop feeling bad for him and get mad if you have to! Stop thinking about what is best for him and being friends and all of stuff and worry about you and that baby. Sorry I don't mean to be harsh but he needs a kick in the (insert bad word)!!!!!!

 

[English Chick]

Hi Monarch ...

.. I am so sorry to hear about your situation.... but in trying to read between the lines of your posts, I have come to the conclusion that now is not the time to go to Lawyer... not just yet..... take a deep deep breath..... You say that you both planned this baby..... a man on the brink of leaving his wife would not plan a baby with her, his job has been fluctuating of late...... you are living with your parents and that you are not allowed to decorate your own bedroom.... your personal space, your haven from the world..... Your DH is running scared of a lot of things at the moment (I am not defending his actions but trying to understand them).............

I think that you both need to talk long and hard about your relationship and your future and that of your babies future... away from your parents house........... I think your DH feels "suffocated" living with his In Laws.. in a house that you are both not allowed to call "home" ..... talk to your DH about the possibility of renting a small place that you can both bring you child up in... espcially as you say his job is stabilising ... perhaps a small place together is the answer... you may well have to overcome your fear of driving... maybe not if you get a place in town... but the most important thing is to firstly let him get things off his chest.. he has a lot of pent up emotions going on as well as you do..... I don't think he wants to leave you for good ..... I truly hope he does not.... but the most important thing is to talk things through as two people on the brink of being parents..... who actually wanted a child..... that is what is important at the moment... he wants to go with you for your ultrasound... make sure he does.... keep him involved in this child's life ... give him also a little breathing space.... there is more to this than meets the eye... try not to be hostile towards him at this present time....... but try to work things out.......... if after talking to him calmly and without any pressure he still feels the same..... then you can take your action of a divorce lawyer ... but until then.... communicate at all times... but no emotional blackmail (if you understand what I mean) .. I will keep you in my prayers, and I truly hope all works out for the best for you and your baby........

and lots of them from across the pond....

 

[mmtillman]

Your story is EXACTLY what happened to me back in 1970. I was PG and he up and left me....gone. Well..I might have been young but I was not stupid...At first I was hurt then I got mad !!! I knew I was better off without that cowardly weasle in my life and I sure did not want his cowardly ways taught to my precious child...so I made a promise to myself and to my baby-- to be strong for her sake and I WOULD make it on my own. And I did ...it was rough at times , but worth it !!!!!
And you can too. Just make up your mind that this poor excuse for a man was not the ONE for you ...because, someday you WILL find that special person that God has for you .
I found my dear husband many years later ...but till then...I found a town with a place to work,
( my first job ) and a sitter nearby...my folks helped me to get started with a cheap car and 2 months rent to get me started and on my feet...your mom can help you if you let her ....she sounds like a loving person....And she will be in your babys life, so you wont be alone.
When I got my new apartment and fixed up it with hand me downs and slept there with my 3 month old that first night ...I knew I was gonna be ok.
That was 38 years ago....looking back I am proud that I made a home for my daughter without that loser in our lives and she was a much happier child then if he had been in the picture!!!!!
That is the attitude you need to carry with from now on and I know you will be fine!! Sending you a hug and a prayer that you will succeed and I have faith that you can!!! God bless you !!

 

[mmtillman]

OH and by the way...I LOVED the pictures on your page!! You have a beautiful flock of quail!!!!! Awesome info on your page as well!!!

 

[easttxchick]

First let me say that I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will pray for strength for you as you walk this difficult path.

Second, let me just tell you as someone who spent a few years in the legal field that these good people on here are correct-do not trust him or depend on him to take care of you. Also, by all means, get yourself a lawyer and have him or her put in your petition(or response) that you want your soon to be ex to pay your attorney fees(it's the least he can do).

I bet you are way stronger than you think and you will get through this and come out the other side a better, stronger person.

God never closes a door without opening a window.

Much good luck to you.

Sheila