Hope you are feeling better! I went through a bad time a while back ( Menopause? Depression? Trying to get off pain meds? Nervous breakdown? All of the above?) I dropped over 30 pounds without trying in less than month and wished like crazy that I hadn't gotten chickens or my dog because I got hardly deal with taking care of them (I also told my husband I wanted a divorce!). But, honestly, they are what kept me going and getting out of bed every morning. Sometimes, I would go outside and just sit and hold my chickens and cry. I went to the doctor, who was very sweet and helpful (my daughter had to drive me...I was that bad). I am fine, now, and love my animals again and am so glad I have them! I hope you feel better soon. It sounds like this is unusual for you and like you are even surprised at yourself for feeling this way. I did, too. I pray you feel better and that life is good for you!!