I don't want my dog anymore . . .

[ChickenAlgebra]

Quote:
How do I train a goat/cocker/poodle mix to not eat everything that his stoooooooopid self can reach? Thankfully, his stoooooopid self is too short to reach most things. However, he has trained the stooooooooopid Pittie/Labradork mix who is not short to get things off the counters for him.

Which is why the dumb mutt (the goat mix) had to be required to puke up a bag of Cheetos the other day.

 

[Orchid]

Quote:
How do I train a goat/cocker/poodle mix to not eat everything that his stoooooooopid self can reach? Thankfully, his stoooooopid self is too short to reach most things. However, he has trained the stooooooooopid Pittie/Labradork mix who is not short to get things off the counters for him.

Which is why the dumb mutt (the goat mix) had to be required to puke up a bag of Cheetos the other day.

I don't know, but if you find out, let me know so I can train my stupid poodle disguised as a yellow Lab. Dratted creature eats everything in sight.

 

[KlaHaYa Gardens]

Quote:
How do I train a goat/cocker/poodle mix to not eat everything that his stoooooooopid self can reach? Thankfully, his stoooooopid self is too short to reach most things. However, he has trained the stooooooooopid Pittie/Labradork mix who is not short to get things off the counters for him.

Which is why the dumb mutt (the goat mix) had to be required to puke up a bag of Cheetos the other day.

Well . . . someone in this thread recommended a "baby gate" to me. Realistically, my dog and I both would step right over it as we race to the cupboard to see who can get to the chocolate first, but don't let our failure discourage you. Maybe your goat-poodle hybrid would be mentally blocked at the site of a baby gate.

BTW, do you have a picture of your goat-poodle hybrid? Does this dog have horns?

 

[KlaHaYa Gardens]

Quote:
How do I train a goat/cocker/poodle mix to not eat everything that his stoooooooopid self can reach? Thankfully, his stoooooopid self is too short to reach most things. However, he has trained the stooooooooopid Pittie/Labradork mix who is not short to get things off the counters for him.

Which is why the dumb mutt (the goat mix) had to be required to puke up a bag of Cheetos the other day.

I don't know, but if you find out, let me know so I can train my stupid poodle disguised as a yellow Lab. Dratted creature eats everything in sight.

*remains in the sarcastic and holier-than-thou mode*


Well if you would feed your dog . . . *sheesh* And none of that corn stuff! Nothing genetically modified. No meat that's been mechanically separated. And no carrots that haven't been handled humanely.

The only way you can feed your dog well is if you make your own dog food by raising your own organic meat and vegetables, Kosher processing and preparing (humane handling of the veggies is a must), and make certain there are no horse pastures within 100 miles, because the horse may have eaten grass that had chemicals on it to kill the grass but not the horse and if your chickens hear about it, their chicken manure would then be contaminated by hearsay, and your organic, home grown, kosher processed, dog food may as well be illegal at that point. (A sarcastic reference to a "chicken manure contaminated-by-horsey-hearsay" issue in another thread.)

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Quote:
How do I train a goat/cocker/poodle mix to not eat everything that his stoooooooopid self can reach? Thankfully, his stoooooopid self is too short to reach most things. However, he has trained the stooooooooopid Pittie/Labradork mix who is not short to get things off the counters for him.

Which is why the dumb mutt (the goat mix) had to be required to puke up a bag of Cheetos the other day.

Well . . . someone in this thread recommended a "baby gate" to me. Realistically, my dog and I both would step right over it as we race to the cupboard to see who can get to the chocolate first, but don't let our failure discourage you. Maybe your goat-poodle hybrid would be mentally blocked at the site of a baby gate.

BTW, do you have a picture of your goat-poodle hybrid? Does this dog have horns?

Ha! We have baby gates. They keep out the short humans out. Which includes me as I'm now in the waddly pregnant stage and can't step over the gates.

The big stoopid dogs however hop right over them. However, they aren't too terribly bad, they don't destroy most things. They are just stoopid.

The stoopid goat/poodle can't get over as he's a shortie, but he somehow bribed STOOOOOOOOOOPID pittie/labradork to drop the Cheetos on the goat/poodle side of the gate.

The other problem is that since I can't step over the gate, I have to open the gate. I am in waddle stage. Therefore, stooopid goat/poodle dashes into the formerly goat/poodle free room while I'm trying to waddle into the room. And I can't bend over enough to pick up his stoopid butt and throw him out of the room. 4 more months of this fun.

 

[Orchid]

Aforementioned poodle in Lab's clothing plows right through baby gate, rendering it totally useless.

My dog gets grain-free chicken based dog food....but truth be told he prefers to eat horse manure. And chicken manure. And cat poop. And deer carcasses.

And then yak it up all over the rug.

Just label me Dog Owner FAIL.

 

[KlaHaYa Gardens]

Well, then, Chicken Algebra and Orchid, clearly you don't know how to use the baby gates properly.

First off, may I suggest calling the manufacturer and requesting they change the name of the gates from "baby gates" to "stooopid-goat-poodle" gates, to more accurately reflect intended purpose of said gate.

Next, complain that the gates don't work and demand a refund -- but keep the gates of course.

Meanwhile, request help on this forum on how to properly use a "stooopid-goat-poodle gate"; I'm sure someone will tell you.

OR, just follow my lead: step over the gate and head for the chocolate.

 

[Orchid]

I think we could make a killing marketing Stoopid Goat-Poodle Gates. SGPG for short.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Quote:
I am banty sized. I'm 5' in sneakers. There is NO stepping over any gate when I've got Rufus and Reginald tucked in and waiting till they hatch on 9/12.

However, I will take chocolate.

 

[KlaHaYa Gardens]

Quote:
I am banty sized. I'm 5' in sneakers. There is NO stepping over any gate when I've got Rufus and Reginald tucked in and waiting till they hatch on 9/12.

However, I will take chocolate.

Well, keeping you penned in is half the battle -- more chocolate for your "gootle" and me.

I suppose that could be part of the appeal for Chicken Algebra's SGPGs. She may be the entrepreneur, but we should demand a kick back for staying on our respective sides of the gate, eating her share of chocolate while she's out selling the gates, and of course, for all the helpful advice she hasn't asked for.