I finally reached out today.

[CoyoteMagic]

Quote:
Cindi you are one of the true and real friends I have met here. This man hasn't eaten more than a few ounces for the last couple weeks. This morning he ate two biscuits and ALL the gravy. Then he stood up and said "I over did it - be back later for the rest". HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I am sooo going to miss him.

Your story reminds me of my grandmother when she was dying. Dark Shadows was a popular show my mom would not let me watch. I went to my grandma's every day after school, and there she was with her oxygen tank and a vodka on the rocks with the TV on Dark Shadows for me. We were covert TV watchers. HAHAHA!

I grew up at the bottom of the hill from a cemetary! Forget Cop&Robbers or Cowboys & Indians, we were Barnabas, Angelique, Josette, Willie, Maggie Evans, Quentin Collins playing in the graveyard

 

[debilorrah]

How could you forget Lissette?????

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Hospice care was the best! They were so helpful and understanding and made it much easier for everyone to talk things out. It was also easier for my loved ones to tell the hospice nurse or counselor things they were uncomfortable saying to family. The hospice nurse helped my aunt record videos of herself to be given to her grandchildren when they were older. The nurse gave the videos to the family, as my aunt had requested, after her funeral. My aunt had thought that helping her do that would be too hard on her children.

Do you have hospice where you are?? Sometimes they can also help friends with ideas for what needs to be done for the family that they may not want to ask for.....

 

[debilorrah]

Yes there is hospice here, but they are waiting til it is REALLY necessary to bring them in. They are going to Puerta Vallarta next week and we are all hoping he can still get around by then.

 

[farmin'chick]

I didn't read everyone's responses, so if I'm repeating someone else, I apologize in advance. You reflect on shared memories together, and create a few special new memories so you'll have something sweet to reflect on when they are gone. Laugh as much as possible together, even if it's only a little. Look at old photos. Remember silly things that have happened at events and gatherings. Write a note to tell them all the things you appreciate about them, and give it to them NOW so you don't regret the things left unsaid. Your good memories together are things that help you carry them on into the future. They have left a footprint in the life of everyone they have touched, and you have been close, so you share many "footprints". Help them write personal notes/letters for the other people that are close to them, to share and comfort each other when they are gone. Write stuff down...the blur of the aftershock of their passing will drive some of the good stuff from your mind, and you'll need it. Bless you.

 

[SallyF]

Quote:
Unless there is some time limitation driving this, please urge the family to bring hospice in ASAP. The only regret I have with my mother's death and with others I have known is that they waited too long for hospice. Those people are wonderful and as I have WHAT in my yard? posted, they can help with a lot of the coping skills the family needs. We tend to think of hospice as providing palliative care at the end, pain meds and such, but it helps immensely to have someone around who knows how to help.
Your making the biscuits and gravy was a wonderful gesture that means a lot to people in that situation; you're obviously a kind friend to think of that, and I know his family appreciates it. Don't stress too much over what you can do for your friend after her husband crosses over (don't you love the old euphemisms for death- the imagery is so comforting), you'll know what you can do when it's needed. Those impulsive gestures are the most meaningful ones from the heart, not the mind. Praying for strength for you and your friends....

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Unless there is some time limitation driving this, please urge the family to bring hospice in ASAP. The only regret I have with my mother's death and with others I have known is that they waited too long for hospice. Those people are wonderful and as I have WHAT in my yard? posted, they can help with a lot of the coping skills the family needs. We tend to think of hospice as providing palliative care at the end, pain meds and such, but it helps immensely to have someone around who knows how to help.
Your making the biscuits and gravy was a wonderful gesture that means a lot to people in that situation; you're obviously a kind friend to think of that, and I know his family appreciates it. Don't stress too much over what you can do for your friend after her husband crosses over (don't you love the old euphemisms for death- the imagery is so comforting), you'll know what you can do when it's needed. Those impulsive gestures are the most meaningful ones from the heart, not the mind. Praying for strength for you and your friends....

Thank you so much. I am pretty much just sitting back and waiting for her to let me know when she needs me. I check in once a week or so. They are leaving for Puerta Vallarta in the morning. The reason they are waiting on hospice is because HE wants to just go and DO as much as he possibly can before he simply cant do anymore, and that time is getting closer. I really hope they have a great time in Mexico

 

[Lunachick]

I hope they have a great time in Mexico too Debi. That was very nice of you to bring biscuits & gravy. It's those moments he will cherish because he knew it came from the heart.

 

[SallyF]

The trip is a great idea. When my mom was diagnosed with terminal CA, she quit work, cashed in her retirement, and spent three weeks in Hawaii staying with a good friend who lived there. She was in heaven; loved every minute of it and felt fine the whole time. At her funeral, instead of open casket, which she did not want, we enlarged and framed a picture of her taken in Hawaii; made everyone smile because her happiness just radiated from the picture. Tell your friend's hubby to have a great time and enjoy every minute of it!