I finally reached out today.

[Lunachick]

 

[debilorrah]

Here is what I heard from my friend this morning:

UCLA says his condition is too far advanced and with his co-morbidities (diabetes, depression, gastric bypass surgery), he does not qualify for any clinical trials. If he had been diagnosed a year ago, there were treatment options. At this point, comfort is the primary focus. As the tumors grow, they are pressing on his lungs and other internal parts causing some problems - he is gaining 1/2 a pound a day and not eating much. Saw Dr. Norman today and got a prescription for a pain patch. Cancer Centers of America would see him as would Mayo Clinic, I believe, but he would consult with their liver specialist and oncologist. Not sure what that could yield when many other specialists agree that any treatment is only palliative and not really designed to extend his life.

Several doctors have said to take a trip now because he may not be able to do it in September.

He himself, says he feels the decline daily. Several people/doctors have also said to see an attorney because had they done the CT scan with contrast a year ago in August, we probably would have had a diagnosis and treatment options at that time. Also, I told his primary that he had transient jaundice and nothing was done about that. Interesting that he has not had jaundice in a few months. Dr. also said today that he could get another bowel blockage.

We keep reaching for hope but keep being told that his condition is much more advanced than they thought. Our family and friends have been a God-send. That and the prayer and support. God has been gracious to us.

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Not very good news. All I can really ask for is prayers for his comfort.

 

[WriterofWords]

Prayers all the way around, for your friend, my friend, and all of us with loved ones who have faced this beast.

 

[debilorrah]

Thank you Kate and Luna. I am really, really, having a hard time with this!!!! I have never in my life faced something like this. A friend. A man I have known for over 10 years. It's hard.

 

[debilorrah]

I am updating myself

I had a great day today, and was not allowed a moment to think about this. Now it is night time and people are in bed, and I have a weeping soul for my friend facing the loss of her beloved husband of 27 years. Does anyone know of any small things that may help her deal with this? Flowers are so.... just flowers. I need her to know she is loved and her loss is my loss.....

 

[debilorrah]

I went over this morning and made biscuits and gravy for him. He loved it and was appreciative. Then a while later my friend went in to check on him and he said to her "Tell Debi thank you so much, I will never forget it" and started crying.

 

[WriterofWords]

That was so good of you, it's thing like that that really make someone feel loved.

 

[debilorrah]

I didn't a thing about it Kate. His wife told me he loved it and I offered to come make some. I guess it really is the small things that can touch a person. I am just glad it gave him joy.

 

[CoyoteMagic]

My Very Best Friend Tom had Lou Gehrig's Disease, I stayed with him and his family until he passed. Sat right there on the foot of the bed as he took his last breath.

The week before he passed I made him one of his favorites. Maryland Style Crab Cakes. By this time all Tom could do was talk and breath on his own. Even though I fed him, he could only handle a few bites. But that smile and that big cheesy mustache made all the effort worth it. He was more of a brother to me than either my brothers have been.

It's the little things Deb. We would just sit and watch TV for hours. He love the new Food Network. Yan Can Cook! and laugh about me trying to feed that little big of Tofu and bean sprouts to Lurchie. I'd hold his cigarette so he could smoke and brush his long brown hair. He loved his hair brushed. Most times I would sit next time on the bed, stroke his hair and listen to all the things he wanted me to tell and teach his son.

At his service we had a small journal that we asked people to write something about Tom that they wanted his son to know. Stories about an adventure to Idaho. Hitchhiking across the USA. Note from his first wife explaining why it didn't work out and how they remained friends after all these years. His buddies from high school and the college fund they set up for Thomas. Thomas's step-sister and what she felt about Tom. Wonderful stories for a little boy who is becoming a man without a father.

Keep hanging on Deb!!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Cindi you are one of the true and real friends I have met here. This man hasn't eaten more than a few ounces for the last couple weeks. This morning he ate two biscuits and ALL the gravy. Then he stood up and said "I over did it - be back later for the rest". HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I am sooo going to miss him.

Your story reminds me of my grandmother when she was dying. Dark Shadows was a popular show my mom would not let me watch. I went to my grandma's every day after school, and there she was with her oxygen tank and a vodka on the rocks with the TV on Dark Shadows for me. We were covert TV watchers. HAHAHA!