I finally reached out today.

[debilorrah]

I want everyone to know my sadness is not FOR him, it is for us that will be left behind without his smile, laughter, grouchiness, jokes, hugs, love. We all know he is going to heaven and God is waiting for him, and we are all very thankful for that.

I am approaching an age where these kinds of things will happen more and more, and this is my first friend to leave us. I most certainly am learning about how I handle this stuff in order to be better prepared emotionally next time. Alot of my pain comes from seeing my best friends pain, and her kids, though grown, knowing they are losing their dad is not any easier.

He had his grandaughter Jane on his lap almost the entire time today at lunch. Cute, adorable little 2 year old. I know he is sad he won't see them again, but we all know that he knows once he is in heaven, there is no pain, no missing people, no looking back. He will receive his reward for good faith in the Lord, as we will one day. But for now, this is painful to watch that big man waste away. My friend, Susan, told him she wants him to be around for years and years and years, but if he has to be in this kind of pain, she will painfully say goodbye so he won't have to suffer anymore. I believe that helped him be more open with everyone about what he is going through.

I really appreciate all these posts about different experiences too. We all handle these things differently, and it is good to know I am not alone. I will keep you guys posted. I need to see about makin biscuits and gravy for the family.....

 

[Cetawin]

Deb...you know we love ya and hurt for you too.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Thank you SOOOO much. You have no idea how much I appreciate you.

 

[Cetawin]

Ditto lady!

 

[Cetawin]

oops

 

[PurpleChicken]

A very close friend of mine just recently passed on. Him and I spoke a few times a week even up to the end. He would call me to see how I was doing. This blew me away. The thing he said to me that mattered the most was "Don, you still talk to me like me, not a guy who's dying. I need that". I hope my friends just act normal when it's my time. We are all just passing through.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
We are all just passing through. I made it a point to be honest with Randy today, and let him know it took me a week or so to wrap my brain around it all and needed to be able to see him without sobbing. He got it. He needs smiles and memories for the short time he has left.

 

[EweSheep]

 

[featherbaby]

I read an article (true story) about a woman who was dying of cancer. She told her husband not to be sad. Since God said that to Him a thousand years is as a day. She computed that once she got to heaven she would be seeing him again in about an hour and a half. What a unique point of view that was!

 

[debilorrah]

I am a bit unnerved tonight. Randy had an appointment at UCLA to see about palliative care. Those that don't know what this is, it is treatment for the victim and his family; revolves around pain meds, counseling to deal with the feelings, etc. He is not a candidate for curative care (treatment for the cancer), so all they can really do is help him and his family deal with the feelings and try to ease his pain.

Anyhow, I have not heard from her yet today.