I had my feelings hurt today...

[BearSwampChick]

There's just no pleasing some people. It's their loss for not enjoying the bounty of your friendship. You sound like a good person and a good parent, so it sounds like their problem is jealousy. If I were you, and I have done this with neighbors of my own, I would continue speaking and being friendly because you know you're doing the right thing. If they have any conscience they will be ashamed of how they have spoken of you.

Susan

 

[FutureChickenMan]

You're an "outsider". No matter what you do or how you do it, they won't like you. Folks are like that. Been there done that.

I'm so sick of it, I don't tell people where I'm from when they ask. I respond with "earth" or "my parents" 'cause I fear the next time some twit says "You rotten Kalifornian!" I'm gonna knock his tooth out.

So, I'm the person who keeps to himself, minds his own business and doesn't say much to anybody. Antisocial maybe, but after 6 years of hearing the same poop I'm done with these intolerant simpletons.

Now, the folks who are polite, kind and caring, those people I stick close to. You know, the non-judgemental type and those who want to learn from you and want to share what they know.

Of course, you could try the "kill 'em with kindness" route, but I have yet to see that work.

 

[OHChick]

hey don't feel bad! some people are just that way. our next door neighbors.... when they built their house my husband would wave and say 'hello' and they would look down and walk away and totally ignore him. he was like 'what the heck??' they never once spoke to us. and then, last summer, we found a big hole in our fence. evidently it had rusted and the horses or cows had pushed it thru. anyway, it was about 6ft inside the property line, so when we replaced it, we wanted to put it on the line, made more sense. so DH found the survey pins and had the transat (sp?) and we were marking the line all the way down. well this 9mos pregnant woman comes running up to me screaming 'WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING! THIS IS MY PROPERTY.' i was stunned. i said 'uhm, we're trying to mark the line so we know where to put the fence'. she said the old fence was hers, etc, etc, etc that the survey pins were wrong and that we were on her land. i was contemplating chewing her out big time when my DH came up and diffused her a bit. he just said 'oh, i didn't know the survey was wrong, can we see a copy of the one you have?' and she said they'd bring it over, and of course, they never did.

anyway, this is sort of a ramble, but its like they hate us, they ignored us for nearly 2 years, despite our best efforts and they made the choice to have our first interaction be the woman screaming at us.

spotted crow was right on, some people just suck.

i don't expect my neighbor's to be my best friends, but i try to be friendly with them, etc. my rule of thumb is, i want to be friendly enough that if my house was on fire, they'd call the fire dept. and i'd do the same for them.

i know its hard, but don't let 'em get you down. we like you. life can't get much better than having a bunch of chicken lovers liking you.

 

[Cassandra]

I'm pretty sure you can't MAKE people hateful. Some folks just are. Honestly, it probably has nothing at all to do with you. It's much more likely just how those people behave. Nothing you can do about it.

I'm sure I have neighbors who talk about me. The two faced ones are the most annoying. I have overheard our next doors threatening to kill my dog (a 7 lb shih-tzu) because she goes to our fence (on our side of the yard) and barks at strangers who pull into their yard. So, I see my dog over in their yard one day and I go over there to get her. And the neighbor obviously comes outside to see what I am doing in his yard. And he (a different one than the threatening one), when I tell him I'm getting my dog, says, "Oh, you don't have to worry about her. She's not bothering a thing."

GYAH

:|

Anyway, I'd be willing to bet it's nothing you have done or are not doing. If you make overtures of neighborliness to them, they will probably be nice to you to your face and just go on being jerks behind your back because that is the kind of people they are.

Cassandra

 

[gumpsgirl]

Ignore them! Who bloomin' cares!!! As long as you and your family are happy it really doesn't matter what they think. Maybe they'll move!

I completely agree with your girlfriend. They are just jealous. There are two types of people in this world. People who are happy with themselves and people who are not. You obviously have a neighbor who does not like themselves and therefore sees it fit to try and bring you down and make you feel bad as well. Don't worry about it. Be the better person and just let it roll off your back! Like I said before, WHO BLOOMIN' CARES!

 

[TT]

We like you!!!

Be the bigger person - bake some cookies or a cake or whatever, knock on their door and introduce yourself. Then back off, you have extended the olive branch and let them know that you want to be neighborly/friendly. The rest is up to them.

Don't sink to their level and spread gossip, just live your life and be the same person you are now.

 

[Coop-a-kick]

Quote:
I second all of that. It can be a real strain when neighbors seem unfriendly, though; I feel your pain! Definitely I recommend being proactive about greeting your next-doors. If you're polite and they can't return the favor, everyone sees who looks bad.

You also mentioned that your dogs got out when you first moved in; I think people should take friendly dogs in good grace, but if your animals were in the yard of the neighbors in question the people might have been concerned and just not known how to approach you about it. Just a thought! Innocent commentary can snowball, so take anything that isn't from the source with a grain of salt.

Your family has every right to improve and enjoy your property. If you're playing by the rules and people can't be nice-- forget 'em!

 

[miss_thenorth]

Quote:
This is what i think, but being the kind of person I am, I have to brood about it for a while. From what I have been told, they are on hard times, (the one neighbour, anyway)

The only contact i have had with this one neighbour is when her dogs got out and killed my rooster. She offered to pay for it, but i said, it wa an accident (her dogs do not usually get out) and i told her not to worry about it. Even after that, shehas the gall to badmouth me. i guess right now, since it is fresh, i keep thinking that whatever we do around here is going to be watched by her, so she can go into town and gossip some more. I have nothing to hide, but its just an unpleasant feeling. And I am offended, but I will get over it. I just needed to vent.

 

[M@M@2four]

Quote:
Absolutely agree!!! You are just going by hear say! IBe overly kind--it'll leave you at least feeling like you tried and if it works, heck, maybe you just made some new friends! You are an outsider--people do this all the time. As sad is that is. Allow them to see that you are a kind and caring person! Maybe they just need to see that for themselves! I often see people get their feelings hurt over something that was misconstrued or just plain lies. It's not going to hurt anything to kill them with kindness!

Do you having laying hens? Any eggs? I just recently moved out here in the country as well--bought a couple acres and had a house built. People think we have big money! lol I think my neighbors assumed i was snobby because we had a nice house built. I went over there with my children, intriduced myself and took them some eggs! It was a hit! Now they stop over and bring corn, potatos, and other veggies!! Now we have a great relationship and I've only been here since December!

Try not to let your feelings get hurt--I know, easier said than done! I am the same way--I hate when people don't like me! lol I am very friendly and kind and the thought that someone wouldn't like me just kills me! lol...I know, pathetic.

Keep us posted on what happnes--and don't CHICKEN out(no pun intended).

God bless,
Tracey

 

[miss_thenorth]

Quote:
This is why I needed to share this online. i had to get it off my chest, and sort my thoughts, but didn't want to say anythng to anyone else in town. Only my one girlfriend knows.