I have a huge conflict

[ridgefire]

Oh and to add to the more fun.

Technically all the information I have is considered privileged. I can't run driving history on my friends because I want to.

So I mean there is that. I am never supposed to divulge information received during the course of work. But I still am tossing inside. Like others have said if it was my wife and it was my friend who found out and didn't tell me I would be very angry...........

I hate people. Chickens are so much easier. The other hens dont get mad when big Daddy makes his rounds.

 

[redhen]

right...give her the chance to tell him herself....not 6 months later though....

 

[Opa]

I'd tell my wife, but I wouldn't confront the wife or inform the husband. I was once in a similar situation and I wound up being the bad guy in both of their minds. It will affect your relationship with them as a couple. Unfortunate but unavoidable.

 

[redhen]

and i wonder if your wife already knows this is happening....usually REAL best friend girlfriends tell each other things like that...so, it may not be such a huge shock to your wife after all...

 

[FrChuckW]

Well, only you can judge the situation and make the final decision. However, I wouldn't say anything unless asked. Because of your work situation, you have access to information that is not readily available to the general public. If you were to say anything, you could possibly be sued for the breach of confidentiality. Unless an arrest is made, then it becomes a matter of public record.

If the best friend's wife asks you if you know anything, you can tell her you are aware of her transgressions, and that she had better deal with the issue with her husband, and that you do not wish to be involved in the situation. Nor do you wish to socialize with her at this time.

Whether you discuss the situation with you spouse is another matter, but you may have to in order to explain your reluctance to socialize with her.

 

[cluckychick]

pips&peeps :

Tell your wife about it and decide as a couple what you are going to do. It will affect you outside of work as you have interactions with these people.

I wouldn't like it if I knew my husband's best friend was cheating on his wife and messing around in the back woods in a car at that.......

It would give me an uneasy feeling about them hanging out together.

I would tell my spouse...​

 

[Omran]

I will tell her husband strait away no question asked, cheater can't be trusted even to inter your home.
who cheated once cheats always. and who lies will lie for ever you don't need such an influence around your Family, Period.

Omran

 

[ridgefire]

Quote:
I would hope my wife wouldnt go along with such a thing. But you may be right. It would then get me wondering if the friend is hiding something from me, if my own wife is willing to hide something for her.

I see a very dangerous and slippery slope ahead.

 

[Shared Acres]

Quote:
I agree. That's the best way to go.

 

[morelcabin]

Quote:
I would hope my wife wouldnt go along with such a thing. But you may be right. It would then get me wondering if the friend is hiding something from me, if my own wife is willing to hide something for her.

I see a very dangerous and slippery slope ahead.

Yup, the road ahead may not be easy. I think if I were in your shoes I would simply avoid that couple from here on. Like you, I wouldn't be able to lie for anyone, and I wouldn't be able to keep hanging out like I know nothing either. The best thing to do is just not make yourself available to their company anymore.
As for your wife, if she is aware of what is going on, it doesn't nessesarily mean she is guilty of anything...she may have gotten herself trapped in the same kind of situation you find yourself in right now.