I have a huge conflict

[rufus]

If you want to keep your job, keep your mouth shut and forget about it. If she asks you if you know officer so and so or anything about the incident play dumb.

This sort of thing can get out of hand rapidly. Especially, don't say anything to your wife. Don't let this woman make her problem yours.

Rufus

 

[English Chick]

I think this whole thing could backfire in your face .....I understand your need to get it off your chest and tell you own wife. But I think that someone elses marriage should be left alone for them to sort out themselves. By telling your wife, you could end up with a rift in your marriage because if your wife did know and was keeping her friends secret, then you would be upset with your wife for not telling you....then your wife will probably try and defend her friends actions to you and then the arguments between yourselves begin.......

Nobody knows what goes on behind the closed doors of someones elses marriage...people usually cheat for a reason (I am not condoning it....but there is usually a reason why one spouse or the other goes off the rails...) and how do you know if the husband hasn't already cheated on his wife and she is getting her own back so to speak....there are a lot of "if's and what's" ........

Leave well alone....it will come out eventually. let time takes it's own course .......don't mention anything to your wife or anybody else .......

You are after all a "public servant" irrespective of what you know, you have to keep it to yourself .......totally......don't become the "piggy" in the middle, because that's what I think will happen and you could end up losing more than you bargained for.

Carry on with your life and let them carry on and sort out their own "dirty washing"......

to you I know that you feel you are between the devil and the deep blue sea...but keep swimming and holding your head above water..... they will end up drowning in the misery of their own making....

 

[Rte.66_chicks]

Above all, STAY PROFESSIONAL!!! In your position, you always need to be beyond reproach.

 

[jab91864]

All I am going to say is on a personal level a lot of times ppl already know, or are highly suspicious. When someone tells them they are then forced to do something about it. Many ppl look away because they don't want to believe or they can't deal with what they should do. Telling puts that person in the position of having to deal with it.

I would avoid anything that could effect my job......

Just my 2-cents. Best of luck

Julie

 

[asher]

Quote:
Yup. IMO, she got you involved when she dropped your name. Would the officer have even mentioned it to you if she hadn't dropped your name?

(And how stupid is THAT?!)

 

[ChickenCop]

Since Im in the same work environment as you, IMO, business is business. I would wait til they came to you about it, for you know they will.
I would at least make a point about the name dropping. Been there done that, have had several friends do the name drop thing and again I tell them "business is business".
Alot of perks in the job but sometimes I wish I was just turning a wrench.

 

[Rusty Hills Farm]

What would *I* do? I'd tell the woman involved to NEVER try dropping your name again to get out of something. Doing that is a violation of your friendship. Then I'd tell her dinner--or whatever it was--is off. I would not discuss anything else about that incident. Then I'd tell your spouse that the "friend" dropped your name to skate on something with another officer and this is totally unacceptable, so the dinner is off. If Wife wants to know WHAT she tried to skate on, say the officer involved didn't mention it but he sure didn't appreciate her using your name and told you so.

That's what I would do.

HTH

Rusty

 

[asher]

Quote:
I was with you until the lying to the spouse thing. Definitely would not do that. Possibly something like "work confidentiality, I can't say, but you can ask your friend and see if she's willing to share".

 

[Jennyhaschicks]

If I were you I would keep my mouth quiet. By getting into this you are opening up a whole new can of worms. I honestly think it could cause a problem between you and your wife by the end of it.
Let me tell you my story.
Years ago my friend's hubby was cheating on her. Dh and this man were good friends too. She would call me ALL the time asking me what I knew about it. I lied. This went on for months. Finally I couldn't lie anymore. I told her the truth without as many details as I could. She really didn't want to face the truth and they stayed together. I was looked upon as the "bad guy" though. It was not something I would ever get into again. EVER!

 

[asher]

Quote:
See, I'd rather lose a "friend" and have a clear conscience.

However, cheating is totally wrong in my eyes, I've experienced it in my family way too much and seen what the idiots that cheat do to their family, kids, spouse, etc. Someone may get angry and you may lose a friend because you did the right thing, but YOU are not the one that was wrong. It's just easier for them to blame you, IMO, than someone that they promised their life to.

It sucks all around, quite frankly.

However, yeah, if OP's job would be effected by it and it's in the clause not to share, it's one case where I wouldn't come out and say it. *sigh*