I have a huge conflict

[pinkchick]

Quote:
WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[wegotchickens]

OK. My 2 cents.

Don't avoid your wife. You and she have done nothing wrong. Just tell her you had a bad night and can't really discuss it.

If the lady (and I use that term loosely) calls you, tell her how you really feel.

Otherwise, keep your mouth shut.
Betcha the 'lady' finds a reason to cancel the dinner. And that's kinda sad because her spouse is losing out on spending time with his friends.

And I wouldn't say squat to a supervisor or anyone else. In your gut you know what to do.

 

[subdriver]

As a public administrator myself I must say that you are in a difficult position. However here in Ohio we've had some experience with this type of situation. (Attorney General scandal) also we had The Director of Job and Family Services placed on one month unpaid suspension for accessing government records for info on "Joe the Plumber" without legitimate business reason.
You only came into contact with this information through your official capacity as a dispatcher. You official capacity is not, as I understand it, to determine which info to release to the public. You give the info only to other public employees who have a legitimate need to know. You cannot for example, tell your wife my social security number because I've been arrested. You also could not use info gained through the course of your employment to put money in your pocket. This is a simular situation. You have info obtained through your official capacity it should only be used in an official capacity. Anything else exposes you to problems

Hope this helps,

 

[seminolewind]

Wegotchickens, I betcha that the woman cancels on dinner too.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Where or where did you find you avatar? I used to have the same woman and the sign said Being grump is part of my charm....

 

[conradpdx]

I haven't read them all but the one quoted above is what I'd do. You don't know the whole story, it's really none of your business.

And to the best of everyones knowledge you don't know a thing since the cop told your wifes friend that he wasn't sure who was dispatching. Though it would be hard, it'd be best to stay out of it as much as possible, Stirring the pot with no spoon just gets you burned.

I bet she doesn't cancel she doesn't know you know a thing, she'll probably show up to see if it seems like you know something, or inquire about your knowledge in a round about way----be prepared for that too.

 

[#1California Chick]

Quote:
I agree!!!! In order to maintain your professional responsibilites, you should tell NO ONE -- not even your wife!!!

Any overt involvement by you will only draw you deeper into this DRAMA!! I am sure that there are other WORK issues that you do not discuss with your wife!!

If the "lady" calls you - I would tell her what JennsPeeps says above and NOTHING more!! I predict that SHE will cancel the upcoming dinner!!!!

Unless you maintain the "Upper Road", this could become a real "Tar Baby"!!!!

Good Luck!! This is one of the UNbenefits of your job!!!

Cindy

PS My advice would be totally different if you did not obtain this info via your job. I totally agree with you on the moral issues -- I don't condone cheating either!!!

 

[jvls1942]

I am thinking ,,, your wife probably knows how to read.. then it is likely that she has already read most of this and she already knows

I still maintain, stay out of it..

In the future, something might happen and you will get involved.

but if you do anything now, it cannot be undone.. ride it out and don't be hasty..

 

[ridgefire]

Here is what I ended up doing. I told my wife to tell her friend to never ever use my name to another officer ever again. My wife did ask why, I simply said, Now Honey you know I cant discuss work. She understood and we dropped it at that. As far as the cheater goes. I could care less if I ever see her again. And maybe she will tell my wife what happened or maybe my wife knows already.

Either way the cheater knows I know, and I was angry for her using my name. And I didn't divulge any privileged information. I just said never use my name for anything.

 

[DuckLady]