I know I am being selfish and it drives me crazy but I can't help it..

[BeckyLa]

Just my opinion, for what it's worth, but I think you definitely should send this thread site to him. What better way for him to come to know and understand how you feel without actually having to confront him?

 

[redhen]

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#2

 

[luvmychicknkids]

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I am really sorry I had to LOL at this comment...i think our DH's may be related....he is a wiz with machines and math and science...

but dont leave him home without a "hunny do" list, or a list written down about what bills have to be paid....come to think of it if it is anything to do with the "normal" day to day living i have to leave him a list...dont even get me started about the stuff with the kids..hair not brushes and no winter boots on...umm hello we have 6" of snow here

Do you need an extra for back-up just in case that one gets lost or something? I will let you have this one cheap!!! LOL

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That is my one little "silver lining" here...I don't have to see that woman for the Holidays. Sorry you do.

Hope it goes alright.

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I am often convinced mine doesn't HAVE thought processes!!!! LOL

 

[luvmychicknkids]

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#2

I am certainly leaning more and more toward it. And this way he can see I am not the only person who would be upset by this so I feel much less "alone".

Again, thank you. ALL of you. I apppreciate it so much.

 

[agnes_day]

that sucks that shes like that!
as i have 5 boys that will someday have wives hopefully, i am trying my best not to make them into mamas boys!

 

[ChooksinIowa]

Hmmm...wonder how he'd feel if you and the kids got in a car accident on Thanksgiving (heaven forbid, of course). Probably a lot worse than if his mom had a heart attack. I know he's between a rock and a hard place, but decisions are the stuff of life. Either one is a horrible thing to happen, but he can't always default to mom and make his family bear the brunt of that decision.

My family is in Canada and Kelly's family is here. We often can't go to see my family because they are too far (3 flights each way or 33 hours driving each way). Kelly's family is a 2 hour drive. Therefore, we make decisions. Thanksgiving with one family, Christmas with the other, and if one of those can't be with the "other" family (generally mine), then we spend it by ourselves. I don't think it's fair that we have to go to his family by default just because they're closer. It took some time for his mom to get used to that but I think she has learned to live with it.

If my mother offered to fly me home alone for Thanksgiving, unless there was REALLY good reason (i.e. Kelly was in Cancun on a business conference or something...) then I would say no. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents dearly and I know they would never do that, but if they did, I simply could not accept.

In a way I feel you are a saint for putting up with that nonsense, but in another way, I feel you're not fighting for what you and (even more) your kids deserve. You're trying to be nice and loving and caring and letting him make the choice, but you're getting walked all over in the process, and you're giving the message that you and the kids are less important than his mom. Every other year - that might (possibly) be fair. Every year...no way....

 

[Barnyard]

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I honestly do not think so. My dh will not stand up to his mom and we have been married for 14 years. She is alway's right no matter what and it p***es me off.

 

[debilorrah]

I am so relieved that my fiance's parents had both passed before I met him - I won't have to deal with all this! Now it's just his adult children. But that's ok - they just talk behind our backs!

 

[justusnak]

Wow, I SOOOOOOOoooooo know what you are going through. Being retired military wife....married to a momma's boy..yeah, been there done that. My DH is the same way with his mother...he goes to see her, not out of respect, but fear...im sure. Now that we are retired, and live only 1 1/2 hrs away...I have to FORCE him to go see them. Oh, I go along...just to mess with her..because my father in law is a VERY intelligent man..and he and I get along great. We will sit alone in the dining room, and chat for hours. I know this just gets her goat.

He actually told her last year....IF he plans a trip to Australia...that I will get to go, and my DH can stay with his mother!!!!

I love my FIL.....

I know my DH will not stand up to his mother, for me....but my FIL WILL!!
He told her last Thanksgiving... " Deb can sure cook a great meal....like you used to" Ohhh the look I got from her.

I go out of my way...to make things sugar free for my FIL. Especially his favorite Chocolate chip cookies, with splenda white and brown sugar...salt free margarine, and dark chocolate chips! HE LOVES THEM, and can eat all he wants. I say your DH should cash in the ticket...and GO HOME to his FAMILY! It will be the LAST time she send HIM a ticket...im sure. I really fell for ya, I DO understand the situation you are in..and its SUCKS!!!

 

[MissPrissy]

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Kids from a previous relationship can be worse than a MIL.