I really feel for you. I had most of my DH's family against me for a really long time. I have won most of them over, including the MIL. It took a couple of decades and very carefully not giving them any ammunition. However, you sound like you are dealing with someone who has additional problems. My only advice is to continue to be the better person, especially to any other relatives of your husband's.
As for the controlling mother and your husband's inability to react rationally toward her, I think Rita Rudner said it best. The reason your parents are so good at pushing your buttons is because they installed them. Remember, she had years, including the formative years, to train your husband. You have much to unprogram.
And, yes, the military does not care about family hardship/unity/harmony. My dad was in the Air Force and I had many friends who were in the military. We were on a small base in Turkey that had no hospital, just a clinic-type facility. Any pregnant wives were shipped out to the other end of the country at 8 months to another base that did have a hospital. A friend of mine, whose wife had left 2 weeks before, asked his commanding officer if he could join her for the birth. He was informed that if the Air Force had wanted him to have a wife he would have been issued one and to get back to work. I understand your difficulties.
Hang in there.
Idea: Maybe you should send a link to this discussion to your DH so he can get a little better perspective on how you feel and how he looks? Just a thought.
As for the controlling mother and your husband's inability to react rationally toward her, I think Rita Rudner said it best. The reason your parents are so good at pushing your buttons is because they installed them. Remember, she had years, including the formative years, to train your husband. You have much to unprogram.
And, yes, the military does not care about family hardship/unity/harmony. My dad was in the Air Force and I had many friends who were in the military. We were on a small base in Turkey that had no hospital, just a clinic-type facility. Any pregnant wives were shipped out to the other end of the country at 8 months to another base that did have a hospital. A friend of mine, whose wife had left 2 weeks before, asked his commanding officer if he could join her for the birth. He was informed that if the Air Force had wanted him to have a wife he would have been issued one and to get back to work. I understand your difficulties.
Hang in there.
Idea: Maybe you should send a link to this discussion to your DH so he can get a little better perspective on how you feel and how he looks? Just a thought.
