I know I had to do what was right...

[ranchhand]

Quote:
LOL! This little one was SOOO unexpected. I did have my tubes tied after DD2 was born but still I got pregnant again. I already spoke to my midwife about trying a different way, which now they have a new technology that is WAY better then the surgery type and we are going for that one. they put some kind of rod in your tubes and they naturally close up. After 3 months, a type dye will be inserted and an MRI will be done to confirm rather the tubes are fully closed or not. This new technology, so far, has not failed. Im not the only one that I know of that had their tubes tied and it FAILED! Having your tubes tied is not always successful. A lady down the street from where we used to live got pregnant with TWINS right after having her's tied then after the twins were born, she tied them again, but that failed as well. She ended up having her entire ovaries removed.

Money was good up until about 2 months ago...Hubby's job slowed down then he wasn't allowed to work based by Dr's orders. Not making excuses for hubby, that's the fact of what it is. Anybody's income can go for steady and good to absolute NOTHING overnight. Times are hard nowaday.

I may be wrong here, I lost count a while back. But my understanding is that this is your SECOND pregnancy since having your tubes allegedly tied? Wow, that's ome lawsuit against the doctor, you and you poor hubby can live forever off the proceeds from that.

And until then, there's your SSI, the inlaws and maybe you can get disability for DH since he can only work at times.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Mccord..you need to stop making excuses for your DH..if he was able to do ALL these side jobs...he should be able to go back to work. He wasnt crippled..again..sorry, but you know that i'm going to be honest with you. (because i care what happens to your family..)
I feel very bad for you..you shouldnt have to deal with all this right now...your expecting another baby very soon. its supposed to be a time of joy..not this stress crap...
I think that you need to sit you DH down and have a REAL serious conversation....you CANT get any more serious than having to give up your kids because of an unpaid bill...

Something IS wrong there..and you need to REALLY look hard into it...
Again, if i lived by you i would help your kids out in a heartbeat!!...but YOU are the adult..you need to make sure you AND your DH are responsible enough to be bringing more children into this world. You have my best wishes that things get better...but only YOU and your DH can make them better...time to get motivated....you have a little baby coming soon that will depend on you to be a responsible parent.

Hmmm, so you are telling someone at serious risk of having a heart attack and dying, leaving her a widow with NO support, that he needs to ignore medical advice and "man-up"?

Maybe I'm just not getting it--to me, sending the kids to spend a few days with close friends is not at all the same as turning them over to CPS and saying "I can't take care of them." Having an on-line friend take care of them is no different than having a friend who is a neighbor take care of them.

There are probably things that they can and should have done to avoid the current situation, but crying about spilt milk doesn't change the fact that it is gone and the mess needs to be cleaned up. Which is what they are trying to do. Driving wedges between a wife and her husband is not helpful in any way.

Oh, and many, many of the people who have a legitimate need and right to a disability parking sticker do not "look" like they need it, but they are DISABLED. This is exactly the same situation that her husband has been in--disabled, but it is not visibly obvious.

I'm sorry that you dont agree with me. But its okay, too. I just wanted you to know that i do believe that you are sadly misinformed about the WHOLE truth of the situation though. Take care , Wendy

ETA..and yes, i DO really believe that he needs to man up.... yup! He wasnt too sick to take on other side jobs..manual labor side jobs under the table while he was collecting...

 

[chickenzoo]

The OP was not asking for suggestions or opinions about her situation, but just venting her stress. She is not looking to be judged just the company of friends. We are all supposed to be friends here. If you'd like to discuss the situation and give opinions, ask her to PM you. Like my mom use to say, if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything.............

Hugs to you and prayers to your family that you receive whatever help you need.

 

[ams3651]

Quote:
I was just about to say something similar. Geesh, nothing like ganging up on someone in their time of need. She just wanted to vent not be attacked and have all her posts picked apart. She is handling it gracefully despite all the criticism. Be nice people.

 

[redhen]

I was nice.. And i was honest about the situation as i see it. (at least i can say that much..) there are children involved!!..its not a joke to me..its serious to me. sorry if my honesty hurt anyone..thats wasnt my intent!
And i tried to be supportive and help her to see what some of the problems may be...
sugar coating her problems and just saying.."ooh, POOR you!! " wont keep her electric on and kids clothed and living WITH her.....
no, sorry, i'm not going to do that..children are involved.

 

[Katy]

I feel for the kids in that they have no control over what is happening to them. I think this young set of parents needs to take stock of what they are doing. When they have income again.....don't spend it all from paycheck to paycheck, put some aside......don't re hook the cable.....save that money each month for if and when the husband isn't able to work again. Unless they are willing to make some changes in how they run their household it's only a matter of time until it happens all over again.

 

[robbdebbie]

I remember when I went through some really hard times. I was a recently divorced single mom. I lived about 1500 miles away from my nearest relative. My electricity got shut off, and I hadn't paid my rent the last month. It was Christmas. Before that day I always called my mom, dad, grandma, ex-husband, you get the point. Someone always came through for me. Well, this time no one came through. My son went to his dad's house, and I sat in my dirty, unpaid, cold apartment alone on Christmas day. When I was in that moment I was thinking to myself how it sucked I got fired from my job for taking a sick day when my son was sick, how it sucked how my husband left me, how my car engine had blown the week before, and how much everything wasn't my fault. Now, pretty much everything thing I listed wasn't my fault, but some things I did were. Like buying some new clothes a month before when I didn't have any savings and my car wasn't running too great, or calling in sick a few days when I wasn't really sick before my son was sick, and most of all sitting around feeling sorry for myself blaming everyone else.

Once I realized that there were things I was doing that weren't causing the difficult times, but if I had acted responsibly before I would have been in much better shape. The thing that made me realize this was when there were no more excuses, and no one would help me anymore.

I am sorry for all that is going on in your life. I am not trying to down you in any way, but maybe help someone out by them learning from my mistakes.

Instead of saying that you got your tubes tied and that didn't work out, try thinking that after it didn't work you should have been using birth contol. Or for saying the reasons for why you need internet and a computer think to yourself how you could use that computer to buy your daughter some new things, and if you really needed something go down the street to the neighbors that were watching your children. You said they are right down the street right? I know that most of what has happened is really not your fault, but try to look past that and see where your and your dh could make better choices.

I am going to see if you have listed where you live. I doubt it is anywhere close to me, but if you are I have plenty of things that I was going to list on Craig's list that you may have to use or sell. I will keep your family in my prayers.

 

[hunterjumper999]

I just dont understand at all how you can think everything is ok.


If you fall on one hardship and your friends step in and take your children for you... kudos to you and your friends... good people there.
but when your children are better off with friends because you can't provide the basics for them.... then you have an issue.

I'm possibly wrong but I thought you do not work. I thought your kids were in school. I don't know how someone who doesnt work and keeps 1-2 children in the home during the day can not keep up with daily chores.

AND YES, I HAVE NO KIDS but i am a nanny and I have kept 4 kids under 5 in a three bedroom house and managed to do the wash keep the house straight and cook dinner 5 nights a week.



I feel like everytime I come into the family life section you are having some major drama. Animals starving, kids getting bitten by ants, no power, father in law complaining about your mess....


its not sitting well- because I worry about your kids. your husband and yourself can sit in the dark with candles ( you said it was warm so this doesnt immediatly strike me as crisis) but your kids dont deserve that. nor do your animals.

I sortof think that your life is in a tailspin. You need to look at it very carefully. Yes you should have internet and phone. Yes your husband shouldnt put his health at risk -

BUT...

i've scrapped with my father in law .... and ITS PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTING. you're not talking about picking up aluminum cans...you're talking about moving washing machines. broken car parts, large amounts of metal. breaking down trailers. ect ect. if he could do that...he could flip burgers. and trust me... scrap doesnt pay any better than that... and has not for quite some time ( last winter was decent, then it got bad in the spring. )


you're about to give birth. how are you going to support your new child ? not just with money- you just said that your other baby is getting way more attention with your friend. it really doesnt take much to keep a baby engaged. you just talk to them. play with them. smile at them. you can engage a child without being all 100 % in their face and hands on. what are you going to do with two small babies.

and quite frankly your house does sound like it's kind of dirty... you've said more than once that it's a mess. or it's needing a big cleaning ... i dont know if its new or old but i've seen seriously old houses look great and new ones look like crap . When i first moved out of my moms I didnt know how to clean. you said your kids have been gone for a few days... so ..you could have had their stuff picked up or at least tossed into their rooms. Your dinner dishes could have been put at least by the sink instead of left on tables. You know your FIL is going to pick. you knew he was coming. and as long as you're unable to support yourself and your children you had better get used to his having an opinion. For a little while when my fiance and I bought our house my dad helped out with the mortgage since military benifits were not kicked in yet for school... and you know what... when he came to visit....we did things his way just because we owed that to him. if you didnt want to owe him you could have not taken his 60.00 to pay your light bill...you could have gone someplace or asked a friend to call the E.C for you and find out if a partial payment would even help.


Get rid of the animals. ALL the animals.

Tell hubby to get off his butt and get a job. OR at least clean up the yard. that fact right there blows up your defense that he is doing ANYTHING. . . if he were the yard would be clean.

and you need to put a foot in both your father in law and your husband and take control because no one is DOING anything to fix your situation. . .

wake up - your kids are being raised ( for however long) by your friends. while better than being with you right now... this is not good.

and i 2nd the whole stop having them.

and i googled this :

Even if you do have your tubal ligation reversed, you may still not be able to get pregnant. Success rates for pregnancy after a tubal ligation reversal range between 70% and 80%

The U.S. Collaborative Review of Sterilization (CREST) found the failure rate for tubal ligation (all occlusion methods) to be 1.85% after 10 years.

MEANING... THAT AFTER 10 YEARS, YOU HAVE A 1.85 PERCENT OF GETTING PREGNANT- AND EVEN THEN YOU HAVE A 1/3 CHANCE OF HAVING A 'GOOD' NON ETOPIC PREGNANCY.

so i'd get a lawyer..... because you need that money from your lawsuit.

 

[HarlansHollowFarms]

Quote:

 

[ranchhand]

Quote:
I cautiously agree, because I don't want to be chastised for being rude. But it does seem your life is a soap opera gone off script. Is there any way you can get a grip on things and start being proactive instead of reactive?