I need a grammar god(ess) please

[Orchid]

Your letter is perfect.

 

[angie3881]

I wouldn't change a single thing you wrote. It is an excellent letter to go along with a very nice story. What a good kid to do all that work and be so helpful. GREAT JOB!

 

[punk-a-doodle]

To whom it may concern;
I am writing this letter today in regards to the 40 hours of volunteer service that is mandatory for the secondary students to have in order to graduate I'd change the italicized phrase to: the mandatory 40 hours of volunteer service for secondary students.

In the fall of 2008 and the spring 2009 my mother in law was terminally ill with cancer.

During this time, (comma added) Michael XXXXXX helped maintain my mother in law' (apostrophe added)s independence by making sure the garbage made its way to the curb on garbage day I'd change to: for collection
.

As fall turned to winter, comma added Michael also shoveled the driveway and walk way so the home care nurses could make their daily visits.

In the spring when my mother in law passed, Michael continued to help out by cutting the grass while the house was up for sale.

During this time Michael never accepted any form of payment for his service. Although I can’t say for certain how many hours he actually did I'd changed to: worked because we never kept track, I can assure he well exceeded the 40 hours that is required.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me at the number below.
Thank you

Put my edits in bold. Please feel free to ask if you have any questions as to why I suggested certain grammar or content edits. I'll try to have my husband look this over when he gets home. He is up on Mt. Olympus, surveying his grammar domain. Seriously. He is a good person to ask for grammar.

Excellent letter, and thank you so, so much for taking the time to write this. I bet he appreciates it so much!​

 

[CarolJ]

First of all, your letter is good! I know Michael will appreciate it. He sounds like a wonderful and thoughtful young man. I think your letter would do well exactly as it is. However, there are a few errors. Nothing major at all, though! You said, though, that you wanted to make sure it is written correctly - in regards to spelling, grammar, punctuation. So my suggestions are below. I re-wrote the letter - correcting the very few errors I saw and re-wording it in a couple places to make it a little smoother. I also included some details that you had in your post, and I put some sentences together to form a longer paragraph. I agree completely with the others, however, that the sentiment and sincerity are the important things. I'm definitely not a grammar goddess

but I'm a retired school teacher and have edited several books.


To whom it may concern:

I am writing this letter today in regards to the 40 hours of volunteer service that are mandatory for secondary students before graduation.

In the fall of 2008 and the spring 2009 my mother-in-law was terminally ill with cancer. During this time, Michael XXXXXX helped my mother-in-law maintain her independence by taking the household garbage to the curb. He knew that my mother-in-law could not do it for herself and her nurses were not there early enough each morning to get it out before the truck came by. As fall turned to winter, Michael also shoveled the driveway and walkway so the home care nurses could safely make their daily visits. In the spring when my mother-in-law passed, Michael continued to help by cutting the grass - both front and back - and clearing flyers and newspapers from the driveway while the house was up for sale.

During this time Michael never accepted any form of payment for his service. Although I can’t say for certain how many hours he actually volunteered, I can assure you that he well exceeded the 40 hours that are required.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me at the number below.

Thank you

 

[Dar]

thank you everyone this is exactly what i was looking for...

sometimes i get going and forget to add details and heck the only punctuation is the ? and !...LOL

 

[weeders n feeders]

The letter in the previous posts is great. The high school my kids go to (well one has graduated already) requires 120 hours of volunteer service. I think it is a great requirement. From my experience with this I would recommend checking with the school or let Mike do it to see if they have a form they like to use. Our school does but also accepts any signed statement from the recipient of the service which states the hours served and verifies that no payment was given. Nothing fancy is required and I would venture to say your school also just wants something simple to show it was done. Don't stress over it if they don't accept it Mike will be told and all it should take at that point is a simple phone call to straighten it out.

 

[Dar]

Quote:
along with the letter he sent a brochure that said a written letter was fine but if the kids did their service say 2 hours at the food bank and 8 hours at the remembrance day ceremonies.. ect.. so broken up there is a grid they have to fill out but because I am a no body they want the letter.. at least thats how i read it anyway

 

[sfw2]

Quote:
along with the letter he sent a brochure that said a written letter was fine but if the kids did their service say 2 hours at the food bank and 8 hours at the remembrance day ceremonies.. ect.. so broken up there is a grid they have to fill out but because I am a no body they want the letter.. at least thats how i read it anyway

Dar, you most certainly are NOT nobody!!! Kudos to Michael for pulling himself together, and to you for helping him out.

 

[Dar]

Quote:
along with the letter he sent a brochure that said a written letter was fine but if the kids did their service say 2 hours at the food bank and 8 hours at the remembrance day ceremonies.. ect.. so broken up there is a grid they have to fill out but because I am a no body they want the letter.. at least thats how i read it anyway

Dar, you most certainly are NOT nobody!!! Kudos to Michael for pulling himself together, and to you for helping him out.

no no i didnt mean it like that... I am not a not for profit... ect.... we all know I am all that and a bag of chips... best thing since sliced bread... LOL...

 

[MeatKing]

That's awesome!! I didn't realize that they would do that for hours, I always thought it had to be a registered something..

I am so glad I got out've high school before that came into affect!

I think your letter is great, but then again have you seen my grammer!! and spelling!