I need help..for a decision

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Momagain1, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. Momagain1

    Momagain1 Songster

    Feb 13, 2011
    Central IL
    OK; money is ok..kinda tight..but we make it..we truly rely on Gods blessings too..

    that being said; there is a Ladies conference next weekend

    Hearts at home here in central IL.

    I can afford to go, it'll be a bit tight... I live 45 min away; so I dont necessarilly need a hotel room; it would be nice..but I dont HAVE to have one..

    however..no one can go with me..I'd be going by myself...
    now the workshops will be ok..because I figured we'd be splitting up anyway you know..to go to the ones that interest us the most..

    but the lunches, dinner on friday night AND the "moms night out" which is a comedian..I'd be by myself..

    I have super low self esteem and always overcompensate by "DOING FOR OTHERS" to make myself feel
    like I'm worth something and I am by myself due to hubbys work schedule..so I crave adult interaction
    and I RARELY have time away from my children (dont get me wrong I love them desperately!) except the very rare occasion of a night out w/hubby...I think
    last year we had 4 times away from the children...total...

    My BIL/SIL have 5 kids; pg w/their 7th. Fine. whatever. no biggie. ages 11 and under.
    her hubby has his own biz.
    she homeschools her children (actually she really doesnt..she has one tutor that tutors one subject for the 2 oldest and the 8 yr old can't read/write yet..etc..
    dont get me going on that one..whole diff issue!)

    I have 4 kids; 3 of them 10 and under..the 20 yr old; the eldest w/large medical issues we still take care of and theres a lot of mental issues going on.
    My husband works 77 hrs in one wk..off the next..
    I own my own biz
    I homeschool my son (severe anxiety, severe depression and severe ADD)

    here is the kicker; she gets every tuesday from about 11 am to about 8 pm AWAY from her kiddos...by my mother in law..AND occasionally a couple more days throughout the week
    to "run errands"...

    I NEVER get time away..she always says no when we ask if she can watch our kiddos so hubby/I can go out to eat..
    get this; her reasons: she is "tired of watching kids"... (umm..its not mine!)

    So...all that being said..I'm scared of going by myself..maybe I should just not go...I have like 2 hrs left to decide b4 registration closes...
    maybe I Just need to stay home with my hubby next wkend..instead...

    I'm being wishy-washy..I dont want to be lonely..but I want to go attend some of the workshops..

  2. clairabean

    clairabean Songster

    Nov 7, 2010
    Kootenays of BC!
    Go. As a mom you need to take care of yourself first to give what you can to your kids. Like in a plane- put your mask on first so you can breathe to help others.

    Go and give it your all to be socialable. There is bound to be more 'singles'. If you don't go you will likely have regrets. Jump in with two feet, baby.

    I can't say anything for your SIL, as I only have 3 kids and I would LOVE more me time. And you can never really knows what goes on in a marriage/family.
  3. aggie9296

    aggie9296 Songster

    Jan 28, 2011
    Panama City, FL
    ummm...i'm just tired listening to your set-up.

    girl, you need a break. go. enjoy yourself. the family can survive without you. at least for a little while.

    drive it if you have to, but a cheap room may be lower than gas.

    i learned a long time ago to take care of myself first. because if I lose my mind, who's going to take care of all of them?
  4. Germaine_11.20

    Germaine_11.20 Songster

    Jun 6, 2009
    Go. It's too easy to just stay home. You need to grow and learn to feel better about yourself. Go--and have fun.
  5. arianna

    arianna Songster

    Sep 8, 2010
    North Carolina
    I think you should go. [​IMG]
    Every mother needs some "time off". [​IMG]
    Have fun, and don't worry about anything, just relax and enjoy it. You will come back refresh [​IMG]
  6. Mahonri

    Mahonri Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast

    May 14, 2008
    North Phoenix
    My Coop
    What does your husband think you should do?

    That's always a consideration, BUT if he's off that week and can take care of the kids, GET OUT of DODGE and enjoy yourself!
  7. Momagain1

    Momagain1 Songster

    Feb 13, 2011
    Central IL
    he is home that weekend..yay...
    he just kinda raised his eyebrows when I said how much it was..but he will NEVER tell me to NOT get away if I get a chance
    unless we absolutely cannot afford it..and I know when he really means it and when he's just saying it.. lol..

    I txtd hiim (he works this wk) and I'll see if he can get back to me soon..about it..I point blank asked him..
    do you think I shoudl go or not?

    he'll prob say its up to me..but then I feel bad for spending the $$ when we have so many medical bills comning in..and our
    eldest dd while she doesnt live here..we still pay for all her antidepressants, her insulin etc..which add up to about $500 a month almost
  8. Momagain1

    Momagain1 Songster

    Feb 13, 2011
    Central IL
    he txtd and said "Do it"

    but I am now having probs justifying the $..soo..I prob wont do it..

    I think I needed a padded room..
  9. Germaine_11.20

    Germaine_11.20 Songster

    Jun 6, 2009
    When you always worry about tomorrow you lose the joy of the todays.
  10. ChickensAreSweet

    ChickensAreSweet Heavenly Grains for Hens

    I usually ask myself the "How will I feel about it when I'm 80 years old?" question.

    If MY DH raised his eyebrows at a price, then that means he doesn't want me to do it- even if later he says to do it or it is up to me. That would be a "no" for me.

    I have learned that every time I do something "just for me" or to "pamper myself," it is a mistake. When I just go about my business, I usually am happy with the result.

    In other words, if I have to ask myself if I should do something, I usually shouldn't. This might not apply to your situation at all.

    Go for it if you feel that it is the right thing to do!!!! [​IMG]

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