OK; money is ok..kinda tight..but we make it..we truly rely on Gods blessings too.. that being said; there is a Ladies conference next weekend Hearts at home here in central IL. I can afford to go, it'll be a bit tight... I live 45 min away; so I dont necessarilly need a hotel room; it would be nice..but I dont HAVE to have one.. however..no one can go with me..I'd be going by myself... now the workshops will be ok..because I figured we'd be splitting up anyway you know..to go to the ones that interest us the most.. but the lunches, dinner on friday night AND the "moms night out" which is a comedian..I'd be by myself.. I have super low self esteem and always overcompensate by "DOING FOR OTHERS" to make myself feel like I'm worth something and I am by myself due to hubbys work schedule..so I crave adult interaction and I RARELY have time away from my children (dont get me wrong I love them desperately!) except the very rare occasion of a night out w/hubby...I think last year we had 4 times away from the children...total... case/point: My BIL/SIL have 5 kids; pg w/their 7th. Fine. whatever. no biggie. ages 11 and under. her hubby has his own biz. she homeschools her children (actually she really doesnt..she has one tutor that tutors one subject for the 2 oldest and the 8 yr old can't read/write yet..etc.. dont get me going on that one..whole diff issue!) I have 4 kids; 3 of them 10 and under..the 20 yr old; the eldest w/large medical issues we still take care of and theres a lot of mental issues going on. My husband works 77 hrs in one wk..off the next.. I own my own biz I homeschool my son (severe anxiety, severe depression and severe ADD) here is the kicker; she gets every tuesday from about 11 am to about 8 pm AWAY from her kiddos...by my mother in law..AND occasionally a couple more days throughout the week to "run errands"... I NEVER get time away..she always says no when we ask if she can watch our kiddos so hubby/I can go out to eat.. get this; her reasons: she is "tired of watching kids"... (umm..its not mine!) So...all that being said..I'm scared of going by myself..maybe I should just not go...I have like 2 hrs left to decide b4 registration closes... maybe I Just need to stay home with my hubby next wkend..instead... I'm being wishy-washy..I dont want to be lonely..but I want to go attend some of the workshops.. wwyd?