I Need to talk

[oesdog]

YES here is the new fellow Bailey!!!!!!!!



We got him 2 weeks ago and he is now 14 weeks old already!!!!!

OES

 

[newfoundland]

I'm so sorry for everything you have been and are going through. I hope all your new arrangements make your life at least a little easier. Your new little pup is beautiful I hope he brings you much joy.

 

[oesdog]

The pup is indeed a darling - I worry about his care needs though. I worry about his walking and lead training and all that stuff. Babies need lots of care and hard work and I wonder if I have it in me? - I was thinking I wouldn't get another dog. I mean we have Gizzy the Schnouzer so I had already got a dog. But it wasn't the big Dog we are used to and Giz came by default because Dh found him dieing in the road. Anyhow now he is here and part of the family but he wasn't Murph or anything like the big breed I have loved all my life. The pup is our 4th OES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My computer died - so I am trying to get used to this new thing DH put together which is awful. It is horrible DH says it is more modern than the one I was using but it seems much slower and I can;t find anything. If it's not one thing it's another. Poor DH has been working on this all day to get me back on line and I feel bad because I really don;t like this and I want my old set up back. With the tool bars I used to have and all my bookmarks that are not lost in the either! Drat they were good too!.

I have to go do Dan soon. I guess I will get used to this eventually at least I am on line and I have to be thankful for that.
I am really tired tonight.

I feel like I have neglected my postings. I am not good with change and I managed to get myself locked out of BYC - took me forever trying to get my password sorted. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oes

 

[ScottnLydia]

Dear Oes,

While I can't know exactly what it feels like to go through what you are dealing with, I can certainly sympathize. My wife of 33 years and I are both disabled and have gone through a fair amount of loss, including the loss of our first child on Christmas Eve.

What I would like to say to you is that, I know that 'disembodied', floating feeling you descrbed in your earlier post. That's not uncommon when we are trying to carry on with a combination of grief and depression. We have to keep working, because everyone depends on us, but we feel 'disengaged', almost like a puppet.

Life is also caring, and it sends compensations. Bailey will not be Murph. He is not ment to be, so try not to compare him. Rather, look into his eyes, and say, "You know, Murph and I were great pals, so what great adventures are we going to have now?"

Be open to new blessings, he's there wagging his tail!

~S

 

[oesdog]

Dear Oes,

While I can't know exactly what it feels like to go through what you are dealing with, I can certainly sympathize. My wife of 33 years and I are both disabled and have gone through a fair amount of loss, including the loss of our first child on Christmas Eve.

What I would like to say to you is that, I know that 'disembodied', floating feeling you descrbed in your earlier post. That's not uncommon when we are trying to carry on with a combination of grief and depression. We have to keep working, because everyone depends on us, but we feel 'disengaged', almost like a puppet.

Life is also caring, and it sends compensations. Bailey will not be Murph. He is not ment to be, so try not to compare him. Rather, look into his eyes, and say, "You know, Murph and I were great pals, so what great adventures are we going to have now?"

Be open to new blessings, he's there wagging his tail!

~S

Lol
Thanks for that lovely post - however Bailey is a True Bob-tail so he won't be wagging anything!
Darn lad keeps peeing on my floors! - I am sooooooooo trying to potty train him drat he was better at 12 weeks than he is now! I think I am heading to tie a knot in his winky!

He is a lovely dog in many ways. I can't help compare him to the Murph though. It is very hard to go from a very well trained trust worthy guy to a pup you simply cannot turn your eyes from! He is indeed trouble! But no more than any other critter that has come through my door.

I am so sorry to hear of all your troubles. Disability is a terrible thing to deal with. I have felt the disangaged feelings for a long time - there is little room to grieve or show my own feelings. My Father is sooo wrapped up in his own grief over my mother he wouldn't even think of any of us children at all anyhow. It is hard because he should be "the parent" but has fast become "the Child"! I don;t know what I feel about my mother. Numb really, nothing. I wasn't close to her any how and she never visited or ever offererd help with the kids. So I don't miss her in that way. I miss Murph incredibly. I worked very hard on the old boy. He was indeed my friend in so many ways. My heart breaks over him and I have cried far more over his loss than my mothers.
I am sorry to hear you lost a child this time of year must be very difficult for you.
It is going to be a hard year for us too. We are not having the usual "family Christmas." Our eldest is going to his partners family in France and our Daughter is spending the day with her partners parents. ( It is their turn this year!) Dan of course is just Dan and he wouldn't know much of Christmas anyhow. He is going to rest-bite on Boxing day so Dh and I might get away some place? Not sure what we will do? We are not having the other boy here. It is not safe to have him not now that he has hurt his Dad. We had orriginally arranged to have him Christmas day evening as My DHs sister and husband were comming to chaperone but the lad is not of a right mind. Having told folk all he wants to give his Dad is a grave stone. This is the boy DH spent night after night hand feeding squeezing milk from a bottle because the lad wouldn't suckle. He is the lad DH fought for to get the best educational placement for a special needs brain injured child. He is the lad DH worked so hard for to find collage placement and support for him and then providing a home and helping to decorate it and furnish it even though he was ill. That lad paid him back by beating him to the ground in our daughters yard and telling him he wished he was dead. 3 days later Dh had to have a second heart operation the lad nearly got his wish. So in many ways I have lost a child too. I cannot have him back here and I lock the doors to make sure he doesn't walk in. Brain injury is awful and steals the person you love in sections and changes them.

Anyhow it has been a difficult year and I sure can empathise with the floating bit much! I have floated a lot lately - things like tree trimming just "happened without me!"

OES

 

[ScottnLydia]

Your burdens seem never-ending, without doubt! Like the old saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, you'll find every cut on your hands!"

I'm so sorry about your son, the conflict of emotions you must be feeling must be incredible!

Keep plugging away at that Bailey! In my own experience, the ones that are the most trouble in the beginning, can be the most rewarding in the end!

And no knots in his winky!!!

~S

 

[oesdog]

Yes that sure was the case with Murphy.He was a bothersome beast. He had terrible food aggression and was very strong indeed I had to walk him with a cane accross his chest to stop him dragging me in the muck! HE was indeed one of those who wangle their way into your heart because they are such terrors ! He had never been lead trained or socialised so there was a great deal of work involved. In the end he came good and was a magnificent animal. I certainly will never forget my good old friend.



I used to think this pic was horrendous and now it is one of my most treasured of My Murph and I.

OES