I should be happy, but I'm not.

[Hobbley_Farm]

having not read all the replies I'm going to say this (sorry if i'm repeating anyone elses post) But this might just be what you need to concieve. Stop TRYING to conceive and just start having romantic time without stresses. Don't wait for temps, days, cycles or anything. Just go back to basics

If you TRY not to conceive (HONESTLY try) for the next few months, you're BOUND to conceive!

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

I understand you to a point. I am done having kids at the one I am blessed to have. I have no jealousy of those with more.

That said
My sisters baby shower is coming up. Mid January. It's gonna be quite "the" event

I So do NOT want to go.

My mom is renting a restaurant and paying for the entire thing. More than 30 people on the guest list.
The other day she was going on and on about the center pieces. You would think that this coming baby was the first grandchild. Or the second coming

I got finger sandwiches from the local grocery store, in the living room, with only my aunts invited.

I am praying for a blizzard. But it cant hit the day before since I want to go to the Poultry Congress

 

[SterlingAcres]

Rhett, that's exactly what I'm saying. We live 2 hours north of Philly and they find every excuse in the book to not come visit because it's too far... yet they can go see pregnant SIL in Maryland? Out of state?

I think I'm mostly peeved about not being wanted by the inlaws. Even though they're trash, it's nice to be wanted. And it hurts that no one gives a squat about our kids. The boys don't even know their aunts and uncles.

Katy, I'm not saying they're stealing my spotlight. I'm asking if it sounded odd that 6 months ago they said they were done and now whoa another baby. You know? Yeah, I guess I am excited they're having another kid, but I don't want to be pregnant with her for fear we'll get the same crappy treatment... and they still hold it against my almost 2 year old... why wouldn't they hold it against another baby? It's easy to tell people not to stress when you aren't the one stressing.

That being said... I'm upset the inlaws made a big stink about SIL's new pregnancy, when they didn't give a flying turd about either of ours. I know they aren't worth the trouble of caring, but sometimes, especially over this crap, it's hard not to get po'd. Why are SIL/BIL's kids any more important than ours? Why do they rank higher on the priority list?

I don't really think I'm jealous of all the pregnancies, I was just stating that everywhere I've turned, there have been massive bellies... It hurts when it takes so long to get pregnant.

 

[SterlingAcres]

Quote:
Thank you Spooky

The APA recommends 2 years minimum. It's scary to think that the majority of nursing mothers don't make it past 3 months. My SILs have made every excuse in the book not to nurse... including 'Well, I can't go out to the club or bar if I have a tittie-baby, now can I?'

 

[CarriBrown]

Shellie,
The worrying about your (stupid) in-laws may be preventing you from getting pregnant. It's easier said than done, but try not to let them get to you like that. They are winning... they are controlling your mind! Don't let them do it.
I know what it feels like to see the bellies everywhere you turn. It sucks. It didn't take me long to get pregnant but it was a rough road getting DH on the same path. We NEVER fight, I mean never, and this was tearing us apart. We wouldn't talk for days. That's not us. I know it's not the exact situation, but I know what it feels like to have your heart break when you see a pregnant woman (especially when her doting husband is with her!).
As far as them saying they were done, maybe they THOUGHT they were done. Or maybe not. Who knows. But what is done is done, no matter what they said six months ago. Just do your best to roll with it. Life is already tough so why make it harder on yourself?
Even if you think they are trying to get even, or look better, or whatever, don't give them the satisfaction of knowing that it's gotten to you.

 

[BeckyLa]

They are JUST inlaws. But for your husband, they are his family. Parents, sister, etc. Imagine how he must feel. Forgive me for saying this, but.... you need to get your priorities straight. Your dh should come first, kids second, inlaws last. Your dh really needs you to make him feel important, to make him feel that his kids are important to you. Make your home and your immediate family your world and let them be jerks and do what they're gunna do. Their going to anyway......

 

[CarriBrown]

Quote:
Well doesn't she sound lovely.

See, this is who we're dealing with, here. Don't let that stupid broad get to you!!!

 

[BayCityBabe]

Rhett&SarahsMom :

I understand you to a point. I am done having kids at the one I am blessed to have. I have no jealousy of those with more.

That said
My sisters baby shower is coming up. Mid January. It's gonna be quite "the" event

I So do NOT want to go.

My mom is renting a restaurant and paying for the entire thing. More than 30 people on the guest list.
The other day she was going on and on about the center pieces. You would think that this coming baby was the first grandchild. Or the second coming

I got finger sandwiches from the local grocery store, in the living room, with only my aunts invited.

I am praying for a blizzard. But it cant hit the day before since I want to go to the Poultry Congress

So, how low-key does your sister have to make the party for you to be happy for her?

To Sterling: I am sorry that your inlaws are hurtful people. Take the high road, Sister!​

 

[SterlingAcres]

Quote:
My priorities ARE straight. My husband's siblings and parents are his relatives. The kids and I are his family. He knows that, I know that. My boys and my husband ARE my world. I never said they weren't and I don't appreciate being told I did. We both want a large family and we will add as many kids as we can. At least the people in our own house love us and appreciate us.

I'm not perfect, I'm not invincible, I'm not on a high horse. Sometimes, what people think of you does matter. Just depends on the situation. Do I care what people from high school think of me? Not a chance. Do I care that my MIL would rather talk trash about my sons than actually come visit with them? Yeah, I do. It hurts that they don't love our kids, but that doesn't effect our kids lives at all, just makes drama for Ian and I. The boys don't know the inlaws.

Are you seeing my point?

 

[Rusty Hills Farm]

I was just stating that everywhere I've turned, there have been massive bellies... It hurts when it takes so long to get pregnant.

Boy, is MY age showing! I came from the generation that was "save the earth from overpopulation" and was grateful just to have my 2. That sure doesn't seem to be the case today. All I see are big families. But I worry because the flip side is that all I seem to hear about is the shortage of oil, water, MONEY, disappearing jobs, falling down infrastructure, overcrowded schools. Maybe us 60s kids weren't so far off base after all....