Quote:
Well said Katy.
Well said Katy.
I should be happy, but I'm not.
- Thread starter SterlingAcres
- Start date
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I would like to have another baby, i have 2 sons 12 years apart but I had 2 difficult pregnancies, the last one being 2 months early and now with difficulties and 2 C sections so I have my hands full and I know I cant and my boyfriend doesnt want more. I just try to celebrate with family members and their babies, I enjoy buying baby clothes and gifts and being a part of it. Maybe some day I will adopt but I dont have to. I know many people who succeeded after relaxing including an aunt who became pregnant after adopting. My best friend came from a family of 7, all adopted.
As for in laws. My boyfriends family has pretty much been cut off. I cut them off because of comments and them not understanding our sons problems and just feeling he is allowed to be bad. The last Christmas we were together was a total disaster, the one before last they were upset I didnt go and I was honest and told them why. So this christmas we werent even invited, no cards or gifts. I try, I send a card, pictures and a small gift for everyone. Maybe Im being the better person. It is upsetting that we cant get along but I see it as their problem. They only live 15 minutes away. My boyfriend had to leave last January and I havent heard from his mom since the day he left. I hope he will be home soon and he knows all that goes on, he knows part of it is his fault for keeping this part of his life too private but I know why he did it. We just keep it separate.
Give yourself a few minutes to be upset for yourself and let it pass knowing your family is a good one and thats what is most important to you. Just relax and good things will come.
As for in laws. My boyfriends family has pretty much been cut off. I cut them off because of comments and them not understanding our sons problems and just feeling he is allowed to be bad. The last Christmas we were together was a total disaster, the one before last they were upset I didnt go and I was honest and told them why. So this christmas we werent even invited, no cards or gifts. I try, I send a card, pictures and a small gift for everyone. Maybe Im being the better person. It is upsetting that we cant get along but I see it as their problem. They only live 15 minutes away. My boyfriend had to leave last January and I havent heard from his mom since the day he left. I hope he will be home soon and he knows all that goes on, he knows part of it is his fault for keeping this part of his life too private but I know why he did it. We just keep it separate.
Give yourself a few minutes to be upset for yourself and let it pass knowing your family is a good one and thats what is most important to you. Just relax and good things will come.
My issue is with my own family, not my in-laws. My in-laws are the only real family I've ever known. My mother and father are divorced but neither of them has much of any contact with my kids and I'm their only child.
We see my father twice a year for short visits if we're lucky and he lives maybe 20 minutes away. We see my mother only when she wants something or about every 3 months, whatever comes first and she feels the need to try and buy the love of my children with cheap gifts and junk food when she does come around. She's close by too, 10 minutes maybe. It's SAD.
Call me tacky or untraditional but when I was pregnant with my fourth child in 2005 after we lost our third baby boy when I was 6 months pregnant in 2004, and I wanted a nice big baby shower, I threw it for myself! I figured that if anyone had a problem with me doing it they simply wouldn't show up and I had a ton of people there, not to mention that my husband, who was my fiance at the time, had set the whole thing up to be a surprise wedding and married me right on the spot at the baby shower! Now I know no one in my family will ever top that baby shower
I guess what I'm getting at is that if you want something of yours up on a pedestal, than you should put it there!!
My in-laws might not be thrilled if we have another baby but none of them would ever let on and I've always had a large gathering of them waiting to see the new baby at any time of the day or night after I give birth, whether it was the first baby, or the fourth. I know I am blessed to have them.
Now my parents would give me the whole "Are you crazy?!" speech
I agree that it is nice to be wanted though.
My parents have done some nasty things to eachother and me during my upbringing but I still cry now and then because they aren't in my life really and my fathers approval of things means the world to me even though it seems like I can never and have never made him happy. My kids have no idea who he is and they barely know my mother.
We see my father twice a year for short visits if we're lucky and he lives maybe 20 minutes away. We see my mother only when she wants something or about every 3 months, whatever comes first and she feels the need to try and buy the love of my children with cheap gifts and junk food when she does come around. She's close by too, 10 minutes maybe. It's SAD.
Call me tacky or untraditional but when I was pregnant with my fourth child in 2005 after we lost our third baby boy when I was 6 months pregnant in 2004, and I wanted a nice big baby shower, I threw it for myself! I figured that if anyone had a problem with me doing it they simply wouldn't show up and I had a ton of people there, not to mention that my husband, who was my fiance at the time, had set the whole thing up to be a surprise wedding and married me right on the spot at the baby shower! Now I know no one in my family will ever top that baby shower
I guess what I'm getting at is that if you want something of yours up on a pedestal, than you should put it there!!
My in-laws might not be thrilled if we have another baby but none of them would ever let on and I've always had a large gathering of them waiting to see the new baby at any time of the day or night after I give birth, whether it was the first baby, or the fourth. I know I am blessed to have them.
Now my parents would give me the whole "Are you crazy?!" speech
My parents have done some nasty things to eachother and me during my upbringing but I still cry now and then because they aren't in my life really and my fathers approval of things means the world to me even though it seems like I can never and have never made him happy. My kids have no idea who he is and they barely know my mother.
Very well said, Katy.
I, too, hope no one in your family ever finds BYC and these threads.
I, too, hope no one in your family ever finds BYC and these threads.
one question. doesnt sil stand for son in law? so are you saying your SON in law is pregnant!lol or am i wrong here
LOL
Sister?
Sister?
oh yeah sister in law! duh! her kids arent old eniugh to have kids!
Quote:
I have not ever gotten the impression from Shellie that she is not happy with the family she already has. Just because you intensely want another child doesn't mean you don't want the ones you have or are ungrateful!
I have not ever gotten the impression from Shellie that she is not happy with the family she already has. Just because you intensely want another child doesn't mean you don't want the ones you have or are ungrateful!
we really need to find a way to differentiate from those 2 ! sonil for son in law and sisil for sister in law. cause this just confuses me.
I understand about the inlaws. My MIL & SIL are not the friendliest people you'd ever want to meet. My DH feels like the black sheep - we joke about being the outlaws. My kids don't like them - from the time my 1st son was born (14 years ago) my MIL wanted my boys to just sit like pretty little dolls - WHATEVER!! They are boys!
Anyway her daughter and granddaughters - they have 3 girls and we have 3 boys - are her favorites. I try not to let it get to me, we very rarely see them and we live in the same small town.
We have his Dad and StepMom and my parents and our family and that's all we really need.
Cheer up - stop stressing - it will happen, just not on your time.
Anyway her daughter and granddaughters - they have 3 girls and we have 3 boys - are her favorites. I try not to let it get to me, we very rarely see them and we live in the same small town.
We have his Dad and StepMom and my parents and our family and that's all we really need.
Cheer up - stop stressing - it will happen, just not on your time.
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