I want to run away from home and I am 43 OMG!

[citychickx6]

SO long story short.
My sis in law is coming to stay with us since her no good hubby is abusive. (currently he is in jail)
My grown daughter has a no good boyfriend also abusive and is staying here.

Now I am in the

part of dealing with it.

I wonder if the chickens would mind if I stayed with them.

 

[welasharon]

Put 'em to work. Build new chicken pens. I think you are gonna need new space for those therapy chickens I see in your future! Seriously, make sure you take care of yourself first.
sharon

 

[chickened]

Don't assume the role of cook or maid.

 

[citychickx6]

OH DEAR GOD NO! They cannot cook so I will be doing all of that. ( or starving to death )
It is just hard you know. Can't tell them no cause I know where they would end up. That means we all must sacrifice for the greater good.
It is like a sick version of space invaders here.

 

[MamaRoo]

Quote:
Actually...yes.

Come up with a big project you can all do together. It will be a great self-esteem builder for your house guests.

 

[cassidy22]

Women who have been abused often believe that they are worth nothing.

Again, don't be the maid or the cook - but make them help. THey'll learn some skills. Teach them to cook (my mother never did, and my husband is teaching me now and I love it) Teach them to build coops, teach them new things, and they may start to feel self sufficient again - enough so that they build the confidence to go out and live on their own!

 

[sheila3935]

Even though it doesnt seem like it now, God will bless you for doing this. I agree have them help teach them to cook. Abuse is a real esteem buster. Take care of yourself first or there will be nothing left to help them. And I am sure the chickies would love for mom to move in with them

Just dont fall asleep laying down out there... Your family might only find bones when they come looking for you.

 

[Judy]

Quote:
OH DEAR GOD YES!

I strongly agree with others that this is a mistake. Let them eat cereal and sandwiches, and don't make them for them. Then tell them you will make some meal you'd like if they will help, and stick to it; if they abandon you, stop cooking it, put it away and make a sandwich. Choose meat loaf, for example, but don't touch anything, sit down and instruct someone what to do. That's one plan, not necessarily the best, but you get the idea.

Knowing 3 meals a day will be placed in front of them may be the strongest deterrent to their taking some responsibility there is, after a roof and bed.

 

[rancher hicks]

Clearly it's time to get some counseling. Everyone needs it now and then. Not only you but everyone else in the family. Nothing good comes easy. If others seem to have easier lives then look at their decisions and do the same. I know I've been there growing up and the reason my life is so much better than some of my siblings is the things I do and the decisions I make based on the example of those I see and follow. It's not easy but I manage.

DON'T follow the example of people who have messed up lives. It is NOT normal so don't tell yourself that.

Back when I grew up there weren't any counselors and help like there is today. I'm old. There is much more help now than then.

Don't buy into the "I'm family so you have to accept it". If you've got family members who are doing bad things then separate yourself.

I refused to visit my alcoholic mother when she was drinking and no one is allowed to drink in my house. Easy no, but healthy yes. In the end we had a better relationship and she would not drink when visiting me. She even stayed and babysat for a week at a time and no booze. I earned her respect by not following the family example. I didn't preach I just let her know how painful it was to see her drinking or drunk. For a time she wouldn't even speak to me but I stood strong and in the end I was by her side to the end. I used to visit her and she would put on my churches tv broadcast and we would watch it together.

My kids have never seen me drink cuz I don't. Not saying I wouldn't want to but the problems related to it are just not worth the price. I never let any of my kids shack up under my roof. Never. The consequences are just not worth my sanity.

If your husband won't stand with you in tossing the BF out then perhaps it's time to see a lawyer. If necessary then send the DD packing too. I'm not a big advocate of divorce but sometimes it's the only way. If the adult kids won't straighten up then don't let them visit you. Had a DD like that and when she learned I meant business she behaved herself when around me.

You must fix yourself first before you can help them. If they don't want to change then you'll have to live with the heartbreak as some of us do. But you and they definitely need counseling, life does not have to be like this.

Hope you all get it, I did and life is much better.

Still have my sanity Rancher Hicks.

 

[AngelaB]

((hugs))