I will never be nominated for Mother of the year Award thread

[klen]

my oldest is only 3, but I can't tell you how many times in just 3 short years I have lost my mother of the year nomination!

Love this thread. I'm cackling over here.

 

[feather and mountain man]

I just thought about this one earlier today while working outside.

We used to joke about riding the short bus. (I know I know it's awful) Like if you did something not so smart or goofed up. We would ask did you ride the short bus to school? It was a family joke not very tackful but anyway that was an ongoing joke for years. Where we live the school bus for disabled kids is always shorter. (HORRIBLE JOKING THAT WAY I KNOW WE WERE YOUNG AND DUMB)

Well I was raising my nephew and it was his first day of school and he was excited. We were at the bus stop waiting for the bus and what pulls up a SHORT BUS. He broke into tears and ran home. I drove him to school the whole year. We never joked like that again.

 

[cackydoodledoo]

Thanks for the laugh! You know you traumatized that poor kid for life!!!!

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Oh! My VERY horrid mother of the year summer.

I swear, my children are idiots entirely too often. Does that count as a bad mother statement to call my children idiots?

They have the love affair with if you tell 'em it's hot, they have to touch it to prove you wrong. Went thru time after time after time after time of telling the oldest 3 don't touch, it's hot. Keeping them away from things. Etc.... Eventually, they'd touch something and learn. Rest of the kids - they get ONE warning. Then, I don't care. I'll take care of the owie, but they learn to not touch something hot. Either way, all of the kids have the basic sense to realise something is hot, don't touch it. After about 8 or so, they seem to realize something will be hot on their own.

July 10th 2 years ago, DSalmost18 was 16 and working on something with DH. Now common sense says a soldering iron you were JUST using not 5 seconds ago would be hot. My idiot child forgot his common sense and touched the tip. MAJOR burn instantly, ER worthy burn.

Which wouldn't have been THAT bad (given as teenaged boys have the brains of a guinea most days, and do stupid stuff on a regular basis) except for the fact it was this child.

Who that summer had
May 23rd - fallen out of a tree, because he and his best friend were wrestling in it. Nothing broken, but ER trip to make sure he'd not killed the 2 brain cells he apparently has.
June 2nd - was working on a demolition derby car in shorts, kicked out a window wearing shorts. ER trip for stitches.
June 19th - dropped a sledge hammer on his foot in relation to said derby car, of course brilliant child was not wearing shoes at the time. ER trip, broken foot.
July 4th - licked a lit sparkler (firework) on a dare. ER trip for burn on tounge and spark in eye.

Walked him into the ER, nurse on duty knew us anyways outside of work. I loudly said "Checking my idiot child in for the 5th time in 2 months, he was stupid again. Can he have an MRI again, I'm not sure he has a brain cell left functioning." Please note, DS did know it was stupid. About 3 seconds after he did it, as always. Nurse just started rolling. DS generally is smart enough, just sometimes forgot common sense.

The grandmotherly type clucked over him, how bad it was that his mom was so mean to him. He looks at her and went "I touched a soldering iron. Mom is right."

Clucked at me about how mean I was to call my child an idiot and stupid and to make fun of his medical history. I'm sorry, when I have to take the nearly adult child to the ER 5 times between May 23rd and July 10th in one year, when with 7 other children who have NOT had to have any ER visit in the same time, I'm so tormenting said child. I will do so until I'm buried in the ground.

Around this time, DD had just turned 12 and was getting to the fun age of teenaged girl with hormones. Her favorite refrain to EVERYTHING was (and is) I HATE YOU *stomp*. My response the first time I heard it, I was dead tired myself, had been dealing with kid learning to walk, DS being stupid, everything else. I didn't even really think and just whipped back "That's alright, I love you." Oh does she ever HATE that response. So her response is to stomp off and sulk in her room. Fine, she's not whining/throwing a fit at me. Plus, she's usually fine, calms down in her room and is reasonable after. So, yup, that's ALL she gets now when the I HATE YOU *stomp* comes out. There are days I want to whip back "I hate you also" or something equally snotty, but I know it'd just make her fight with me more, so it doesn't get me anywhere.

I just bite my tounge a LOT. Often.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

My favorite line to my kids is, "I love you enough to let you hate me."

My DD when she was a toddler used to tantrum until she threw up. She did it in public and I stood back and waited for it to pass. But, she threw up and the staff got all bent out of shape. So, she got lots of attention etc. So we had several years worth of one upsmanship as she would throw tantrums I would stand back - she would up the ante and vomit store staff would come a running.

Until she tried this at a hospital. We let her do her thing. She vomited. Nursing staff came running and I pointed out to them that this was not an illness it was a tantrum. The nurse (who I will love for ever) sat down on the floor and told her if she did not stop tantruming she (the nurse) would assume she was genuinely ill and would start doing tests to see what was wrong - needles blood tests and all. DD stopped.

A few weeks later she started again and I said, "If you throw up I will assume you are ill and call that nurse." That was her last major public tantrum.

 

[YYZ]

i don't have any kids, (couldn't) but i sure like reading your posts! Thanks.

 

[youngbiddy]

What a great thread. ROFL

I've got four kids. Just turned 6, just turned 4, almost 2 and a half, and 7.5 months. Girl, girl, boy, boy.

All three of the older ones have tried to throw the falling down fit before they turned two. The first time it happened, with each of them, I very calmly picked up the screeching child, pulled down the diaper, and did the old-fashioned laying on of hands. Then the child was returned to the floor and whatever it was that child wanted, it did not get until it learned to express desire in a polite fashion. The first time. And even then "you can't always get what you want".

I don't think any of them tried it more than twice, and I've never once had a child throw a temper tantrum past the second birthday. It just doesn't pay. My kids have seen other kids throwing fits, and it blows their minds. "What's wrong with him, Mommy?"

Handle it now, or handle it later..in spades. I really think you're doing your kids a huge favor if you don't ever let them be little monsters.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Yeah, my kids when younger are always shocked by other kids their age or older throwing a tantrum. They always ask Mommy, why are they doing that? or something similar.

DSalmost18 in one of his pissy moods loudly said "You know, if that monster didn't get that toy, he wouldn't be on the floor screaming like a baby." Yes dear, we know that, for some sad reason, we just aren't supposed to say that out loud. He did get his phone taken away, given as he'd embellished that statement with many other words that are not suited to public use.

He so knew he was getting in trouble, he just really wanted to say it that one time. As in, he'd already pulled his phone out and handed it to DH. Who was going

I just about got it out of my mouth to "Don't do it..." when DS whipped it out. He did not complain one day of the two weeks that his phone was taken away to DH or me.

Dang, I need to come up with a better punishment.

 

[kla37]

I tell my kids really stupid stuff and they sometimes they believe me. Like when we were in the car for a long time and my older DS would say he wanted to stop and get a drink, I would tell him that really nice people leave glasses of water on the side of the road for thirsty people to drink, and he would stare out the window looking for them. When I told my younger one that, I think he was 4 or 5, he looked at me and said, "That's so dumb. When are we stopping?" My mother also had them totally convinced that she played Glenda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz.

 

[youngbiddy]

Quote:
Sounds like he thought it was worth it. I like that kid.

Ya did good. If a little salty language is all you've got to worry about you should pat yourself on the back.