I will never be nominated for Mother of the year Award thread

[PineappleMama]

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FINALLY A KINDRED SPIRIT!!!

Came out of Wally World... 90-odd Texas heat so after buckling DS, maybe 18mos, in his seat I started the car to get the A/C going... turned to put the buggy up in the corral right next to our spot... door closed, door locked.

The firemen though it was pretty funny actually that DS was in there be-bopping his head to the radio in the nice cool car while mom was sweating and crying and freaking out of her gourd... now over ten years later I can almost, but not quite, smile about it.

 

[MeowCluckBark]

Today my child kept spilling things. She was being really sensitive about it too. By the 3rd time I just face palmed and then realized that I just did that in front of her. She wasn't amused.

 

[Arcnadius]

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I know how you felt. Hubby and I are shift workers but didn't have weekend child care when DS was about 4 so we did the "baby hand-off" thing at my work. One winter day, in walks hubby and DS with DS wearing his winter coat, snow boots, and shorts. Shorts? It's cold out! DS tells ALL my coworkers how he had to wear shorts because he didn't have any pants.

We get home, I open his closet, and there are several pairs of jeans hanging up. Me: "DS, you have a closet full of pants. Why didn't you wear one of these?" DS: "Those aren't pants, those are jeans." Me:

"If those aren't pants, what are?" DS: "Sweatpants!"

Definitely his father's child!

 

[peeplessinNC]

Just read every post, nodding my head at some, laughing out loud at others.

I raised two sons pretty much by myself after DH left. Made me a pretty tough, self-reliant mom I can tell you. I had some pat answers to their "challenging" behaviors: "ewww, I don't like this (what I had fixed for dinner)" - answer: "this is not a restaurant and I am not a short-order cook, you can fix yourself a bowl of cereal or a sandwich if you don't like what we are having for dinner." Or....."you're the meanest mom in the whole world!" - answer: "No, Mrs. Virginia Jones in Kalamazoo, Michigan (made-up name) won that award, I was only first runner-up."

We often made the hour drive to visit the grandparents; if the boys started whining or fighting with each other I just pulled over to the side of the road, stopped the engine, got out of the car, shut the door and patiently waited where they could see me until they stopped. I only had to do this once as they got the hint that further bad behavior would mean a longer drive to get to the grandparents' house. "Do I have to stop the car?????" I also did this maneuver with my friend's children while we were all driving hours to the coast (with my friend, their mother, in the car!) Cured them of their bad behavior too!

Good advice: choose your battles! Hair, clothes, and clean rooms are insignificant in the larger scheme of things. This especially applies to pre-teens and teens.

When he was a teen, DS#1 got mad at me one day over something I wouldn't let him do and yelled "well....I'll just go live with Dad!" I calmly said "that's fine....let me help you pack!" as I walked toward the stairs to go up to his bedroom. Within a minute he had changed his mind and was apologizing to me for his behavior. He never did that again and never went to live with his dad.

For several months when DS#1 was in high school, a friend of his lived with us due to tension at home between him, his mom and her new husband. I treated him just like one of my sons: fed him, got him to school on time, made sure I knew where he was, made sure he phoned his mom regularly, saw to his homework, worried about him, etc. In all that time, his mother never talked to me, never called to ask how her son was, never thanked me for looking out for him, never offered to help with money for groceries - nothing. I still have trouble understanding her behavior to this day.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

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That made me laugh! My husband had a friend come to the house one day and as soon as he sat down, my daughter ran over, hoped in his lap and let him know his hair was all gone.

I'm amazed at all the things I find myself saying that I NEVER thought I would have to say. "We do not drink toilet water from the plunger!"

I would have thought that was a given. Then I have to ask myself, where did I go wrong that my kids had that idea in the first place?

Oh that and how detailed of instructions you have to give. Like we do not color on the dog. Well, ok, then they'll color on the cat. If it's we don't color on animals, they color on the dog because that's a dog not an animal.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

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Sigh. I tried something similar, DSalmost18 pointed out that if I'd had 18 years of practice, then if I couldn't win the award, I wasn't trying very hard. Sigh. Worthless child. I love him anyways.

 

[violetsky]

One day I decided to take my six month old daughter out for a stroll. It was a beautiful day, birds were singing
in the trees all was good. As I pushed the stroller through the little wooded park I hit a bump. I pulled back
and pushed even harder still looking at all the flowers and trees. Still distracted I gave another hard bump which
finally broke my reverie. I walked around to see what was bumping into. My daughter had wiggled out somehow
and fallen on the concrete trail. She never cried out and seemed fine but I rushed her to the hospital anyhow.

 

[mame1616]

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I could totally see myself doing that.

 

[feather and mountain man]

I have always tried to have an open line of communication with my kids but this one time I really crossed a line with my son and I was wrong.

I am divorced with my children's father and at one point in time my kids were constantly telling me all the negative things that were said about me at their fathers house. None of them true. I was so frustrated at the time and reacted badly. I began talking about their fathers faults. Pointing out how lazy he was and that he wouldn't work and how he had been in and out of college for 20yrs without ever getting a degree because he was a quitter. I went on to point out how he had to move from house to house for not paying his rent and that his credit was bad and he never paid his bills.

Well after some time of this my oldest DS 11yrs old at the time called me out on this saying "You may feel this way about my dad and all this may be true but I don't want to hear it. I love him and I love you and I have to listen to him saying things about you but I never thought I would have to listen to you saying things about him. All your doing is hurting me!"

Talk about being a bad parent I want to die.

He was right. I told him and the other kids how sorry I was and never did it again. I still can't believe I did that. I hurt my kids so badly and I was so ashamed of myself for stooping to his level. I never said lies about him like he did about me but my kids did not need to be put in the middle like that.

I learn as I go being a parent I know I will never be nominated for Mother of the Year

This came back to me this morning while I was mopping the floor and thought I would share it with my BYC friends. You are all like my Parent AA group

 

[schellie69]

I am so glad that I am not the only mom that used leashes with her children. I lived in Denver when my oldest son was born. I had my 2 girls they were 4 and 2 and I was very huge with my son. We went walking on 16th street mall. The girls would not get out of the car until I zipped up their harness and had the straps on my wrist I had a group of teenagers tell me oh look she walking her dogs. I just shook my head. My Oldest DD who had/has a big mouth looked at them and said well at least I am going home with my mom and won't be lost like some kids. I was proud and a little shocked that she understood that there was missing kids she saw signs but I guess she knew more then those teenage girls. I used them with my oldest DS he was always running off.

Thanks for all the good stories. One funny my DD who is 24 joined BYC and she had read these post and she remembers them and laughs she is a mom now with a 2 year old and 16 month old her girls are 13 months apart. She has learned what I meant when I told her some day she would pay for this torture she is putting me through oh is she paying.

Grand children is the reward for not killing your kids when they so deserved it.