I'm a new mother and going out of my mind! help!

[patandchickens]

There are many other dietary things besides dairy that can cause the colic/gassiness that you describe. I know it may seem hard, but consider trying for 1-2 weeks cutting out ALL OF THE FOLLOWING IN ANY AMOUNT WHATSOEVER:

-onions
-broccoli, cauliflower
-chocolate
-dried fruit including fruit 'leather'
-coconut
-anything containing msg (read labels)
-any prepared food from the supermarket (including dried soup mixes, ramen noodles, canned soup, frozen entrees, frozen pizza, etc)

The above is a list of all of the things that I could not eat for the first 8-10 months of #2's life without having him be spitting up every five minutes and waking up screaming with gas pains every 30 minutes all night. It may seem like a lot to eliminate from one's diet but if it turns out that some or all of them affect the baby's happiness, BELIEVE me it is WORTH it

Instead one can eat sandwiches, salads, fresh fruit, buttered pasta, veggies, pretzels, etc.

I am happy to report that, at age 13 1/2 months (edited to add: er, *he* is, not me

), I can now eat limited amounts of all of the above (actually I can even eat a LOT of chocolate). I don't know how much of it is that his digestive system is maturing vs how much is that he only nurses first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. But, either way.

He is still a 'high maintenance' baby -- wants you to spend inordinate amounts of time holding him and looking at him and interacting with him -- but now that he can crawl and play with things I do get a lot more time without a baby on my lap and expect it will continue to improve. Some of them are just 'like that', inconveniently enough

I would also suggest finding a postpartum-depression support group, it might be really helpful.

Good luck, and trust me they do outgrow it (yours is probably more than halfway through the colicky/gassy phase, if that helps any),

Pat

 

[summerwindsfarm]

Quote:
Doctors are notorious for not telling you anything lol. At her age shes probably starting to teeth. Is she chewing her fist a lot? Can you feel bumps on her gums in front? Usually they will also start slobbering a lot more. Some babies teeth with no problems. Others get a lot fussier. If her bms are fairly soft i wouldnt worry about how often shes having them. If they are hard or pelleted then id add apple juice instead of breast milk or formula to her cereal.

I would definitely cut out dairy products from what youve said. You can take calcium suppliments or eat things other than dairy that are high in calcium...or both.

If your giving very much formula your breast milk supply will drop. Stop the formula and she'll bring your supply back up most likely. If she cant handle your breast milk there are soy formulas out there but some babies are allergic to them too so they really arent a quick fix..though they are god sent for some babies who are truely sensitive to breast milk.

The suggestion to find a lactation consultant is an excellent one. Its been a long time since i nursed a baby so im sure someone can help you more there. But when i had problems with mastitis when Josh was 3 months old i called the la leach (sp?) league and they reassured me that continuing to nurse him wouldnt hurt him or me. That made it easy for me to stand up to my doc who wanted me to wean Josh right then while he started me on antibiotics. He tried to tell me that i was going to be feeding my baby spoilt milk! With their advice i knew the antibiotics in my breast milk wouldnt hurt him. That my breast milk wouldnt be *spoilt* and that nursing him would help my mastitis get better faster. They were 100% right and my doctor had to admit that hed never seen mastitis clear up so fast. He actually ask me for their phone number. Sadly our society has let breast feeding become an uncommon way to feed a baby and in the process we've lost a lot of the knowledge about what is *normal* in the process sigh.

 

[chickflick]

Lots of good advice for you and the baby. Now, my advice to you....tell your hubby you are not superwoman and you will not have his dinner on the table when he walks in and if he wants a clean house, tell him to pitch in!!! Marriage is 50/50. He is not the "king" of the house. You need for him to help you out more. You are going to wear yourself out and it won't be good for you or your family. You need to take care of yourself too. Hand the baby over to hubby and tell him you are going to take a long hot bath.
I had four kids and hubby helped out. He didn't sit on the couch and expect me to do every thing...or I wouldn't let him sit on the couch, either way....he helped out!!
Good Luck with the baby. Things will get better soon. Hang in there. Hope you have someone to help you out.

 

[cajunlizz]

Quote:
1st. ) thing you doing wrong is speaking to people in a chicken forum . You need to be speaking to her baby dr. EXPLAIN everything to this baby dr. and he will help your baby .

2nd. ) ONLY time my babies were in bed with me was when they ran REAL HIGH fevers and were falling into convulsions .

3rd. ) You keep reverting back to bringing her into your bed , if you do not stop this now , she will still be sleeping IN YOUR BED when she starts school .



4) I teaspoon of Rice cereal ? Are you kidding ? My babies were on cereal mixed in their forumla at 2 months old . at 3 months they were eating cereal and baby food from a spoon . FEED that baby . She should also be on baby food at 5 months old . Not just milk . GEEEZ woman , KID that would be well fed would NOT be waking up at all at night . FEED HER , you will notice a totally different baby . 3 meals a day and bottles in between . To much milk will cause a gassy baby .

 

[candrnyen]

Hi
I had this with my 3rd daughter. The swing was a life saver.
With the breastfeeding, I had to take onions out of my diet, it wasn't so much the dairy but the onions, peppers and garlic. Just remember anything that can give you gas can be passed on to her. Broccoli too. Don't give up on breast feeding unless it is something YOU are ready to do.
I agree with the others that the dishes can wait you will always have time to clean the house but believe me the babies grow up fast.
You will need to sit down and discuss or explain to your husband actually how you are feeling and that you need a break. You need to have "you" time.
I wish you all the best

 

[ruby]

Lots of good advice you've gotten here. I breast feed my babies till they were done. At two they just quit. And they both slept in our bed. It was easier. And the fact I never owned a crib. My kids grabbed the food on my plate, so I put them in the high chair and fed them some of what I had. Hang in there.

 

[patandchickens]

P.S. I would not take what a doctor says too seriously, with respect to the cause(s) of a baby's gassiness, colickiness, or any other sort of behavior. Doctors do not usually know very much about raising babies, they get next to no instruction on normal infants in med school and many don't even have any kids of their own. However for some reason they seem to feel qualified to issue Pronouncements about what's going on and what mothers should do. Hmph.

So unless you are lucky to have one of the rare doctors who actually knows quite a lot about babies (and I mean real-world empirical it-works kind of knowledge, not book knowledge or what grandma said or personal theories) it may be best to reserve the doctor for dealing with the sort of problems he/she has actual educational background in :>

In this case, it is not impossible that you may never find out exactly what the "problem" is (although it is certainly worth continuing to try); it may be as much as anything a matter of finding ways to survive until the kid outgrows this phase.

Hugs,

Pat

 

[MissPrissy]

Breastfeeding and co-sleeping are two of the best things I did with and for my babies. Do not listen to people who tell you otherwise.

At 5 months my babies were eating baby cereal - a small bowl full. The crying and fussing was because they were hungry. Milk just wasn't enough. Get your self a bottle of gas drops for babies. Give her a dose after you breast feed and see if that relieves her. Also try giving her some cereal at night.

Raw vegetables are good for us but super hard on a breast fed baby's stomach. You'll have to go to a bland diet and see if that helps if the gas drops don't give some releif to her. Think which foods, poatoes, milk, bread, beef broth, chicken broth, saltine crackers - etc, and a multi-vitamin.

Gas drops, a full tummy, she might start sleeping for several hours at a stretch.

P.S. - most doctors don't know much in the way of helping you. Pediatricians practice medicine not nuturing and child rearing.

 

[summerwindsfarm]

Quote:
As long as they arent between the ages of 10 and 12 id take them in a heartbeat! I love the little ones and enjoy the teenagers..but man between the ages of 10 and 12 even the sweetest kids seem to turn into obnoxious little brats lol!

I dont think anyone in their right mind would *chose* to have a blended family like they have. Its hard on the parents thats for sure! Keeping up with 3 under the age of 3 would be hard enough..but then you add in all the complications like different dads and it really gets tough. But the kids are actually benefitting a lot from having so many grandparents!

My son and my grandsons mom were dating when she got pregnant. She married someone else shortly after Preston was born. There are 4 sets of grandparents that are very involved in all the kids lives (2 more sets that are only involved in their grandchilds life)..some of us are grandparents to one of them..some to all of them..it doesnt seem to matter! When the two boys were introduced to the church their *family* filled the whole first 2 rows lol. So there is always someone to babysit them. Always someone around to read a story or sooth a booboo. Once you experience it you really see the concept behind ...it takes a whole village to raise a child.

And i am truly blessed that Kim has let us be so involved in Prestons life. I know it helps that since i had my own day care i dont blurr the lines between *mother* and *grandmother*. I have no problems doing everything her way..shes his mom. And i think that lets her listen to me when i *do* have an opinion about something..which is pretty rare cause i like the way shes raising him! I do get tickled sometimes at things like her deciding to wean him from his bottle right before he came out to grandmas for an esp long week <grin>. By the time he went home he was weaned lol.

 

[arlee453]

cajunlizz... I have to respond to your post...

1. There is a lot of good advice given here - and most people recommended she speak to her child's doctor or a lactaction consultant to help her work through what her best options would be.

2. Having had all 4 of my kids co-sleep with me when breastfeeding, I can 100% assure her that her baby will not be sleeping with her when she is ready for kindergarten. All of mine were moved out of the bed when they were weaned and had no problems adjusting. No 'crying it out', etc.

Our kids are NEVER in our bed now, ever, which is more than I can say for several friends of mine who insisted on forcing their infants to sleep alone in a crib at a very young age, but are dealing with 3,4 and 5 yr olds who sneak in nightly to tryto sleep with mommy and daddy.

We are all sharing personal experiences here, and I'm sure that the OP knows full well we aren't 'medical professionals'. However some of us ARE certified breastfeeding and childbirth educators, who are paid $50+/hr for consultations on just these topics. I'd also argue that many 'been there done that' moms have much better advice than a lot of pediatricians that only see a baby for 2 minutes every 2 months, and have either never had kids of their own. Some of the WORST breastfeeding advice given to my clients has come straight from their pediatricians, who have NO CLUE about breastfeeding issues.

I find it interesting that in your first point you say not to take advice from a chicken forum, but in the 3rd point you proceed to give her advice anyway?