I'm being mean, ain't I? (Sorry, long)

[wildorchid053]

uuuuh excuse me!!!!! it is your house, your rules, no dogs and you are to act like a guest not a pig in my house.. don't like it don't come.. i would definately lay the rules down before they come.. if they come. no ifs and or buts

 

[boykin2010]

your family sounds like mine. Half of my family could be on jerry springer...

 

[gritsar]

My text response to her was short and sweet - "Not this weekend, we have alot to do".

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Grits the next time they do come if there's a sick person or a dog with them you need to tell them that they just can't stay. And do this at the door before they come in. If nobody is sick and they bring the dog you tell them that the dog will have to stay in the car or tied up outside while they visit. And if they are eating over when the meal is done say " it was nice having you over, it's too bad you have to leave early but you'll need to get on the road so you can get home before it's too terribly late". However if someone is sick you can tell them "oh it's to bad you can't stay since so and so is sick, I know you don't want to make your dad ill". If they don't get that then just tell them you tried to be nice but they didn't listen so now you have no choice but to tell them the can't come over anymore.

 

[chicks4kids]

Sounds like you handled it well...and I'm glad you decided to tell hubby about the text. You def. want to keep him in the loop especially since he is aware of what is going on with those 2 girls.

 

[Tigerjane]

It sounds like you may be jealous of the time the girls spend with your husband. Though he works a lot, you also mentioned that he hadn't seen his youngest in MONTHS. While that may partly be on her, it certainly sounds like they don't take very much time from the time you and your husband get to spend together, so one overnight isn't a really big sacrifice. These are his CHILDREN, not some annoying 3rd cousins that occasionally visit and everyone is happy to see them go after the first few hours. Your husband seems to enjoy their visits. It's his house too, so if doesn't want them there or their dog there, have HIM tell them. I'm sure his daughters aren't the only females he has trouble being upfront with - consider that when you start speaking for him and making decisions for him and his family. He may not want to flat out tell you that he wants them there and doesn't want to rock the boat and cause hard feelings by saying leave the dogs at home. They texted YOU, so clearly they are considering your feelings in the matter, and realize it's not just their father's house. There's two sides to every story, and by now your step-daughters know how you feel about them: that they're pretty nervy to ask your permission to visit with their sick father when he has errands he has to run with you .......

 

[SarahBeth9394]

I really don't think grits is jealous that the daughters dog used her house for a toilet even tho both grits and her hubby told the daughter to confine the dog. If I remember correctly mr. grits is in law enforcement so it seems to me that he doesn't want to have to be the cop in the home as well and is therefore fine with grits if she has to take on the role of house law enforcer. And if I am correct I say "lay down the law grits". If I'm not is still say "lay down the law grits".

 

[cafarmgirl]

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I think you handled it perfectly.

 

[gritsar]

I'm not jealous in the typical sense of the word. I am jealous of the time I get to spend with my DH, since there's not much of it. His crazy schedule means when he is off (and not on call), there's very little together time. I don't leave the house much during the day because of the free ranging chickens and I can't drive at night. However, DH works in the town where the girls are and they are never more than five minutes from his location (small town). They know they are welcome to join him and the other officers either at the PD or on their dinner break. They only text me because they know that their dad sleeps later than I do, that he hates text messaging and doesn't take the time to reply when he's working.

For the record, DH and I sat down and had a long talk about it today. He admitted that he's been letting me handle it because it's easier for him. We even wrote down what the issues were with their visits. Before or at the beginning of their next visit he is going to sit them down and explain the house rules.

- Visits will be for a few hours only (no overnight). We don't have a spare bedroom and we live on a totally different schedule than them, in that we are up all night, sleep late in the morning.
- The dog stays home or in a crate, at all times.
- No special meals will be cooked for the GS.
- I cook, they clean up.
- #2 not sit here ignoring us, with her nose buried in her cell phone the whole time. She will not visit sick and she will visit, not text with her friends the whole time.
- They will leave my house as they found it.

Thanks for the replies.

 

[Ema]

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