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Im Looking For A Weird Creature

Wegotchickens I have a critter that lives here and it eats everthing in site, leaves a mess, has an odor sometimes and thinks I am the President and owner of a bank.

He seems to be deaf, loud and drinks gasoline because everytime I get in one of the vehicles its on "E". I asked the critter if he thought "E" stood for "enough"? To which the beast rolled his eyes grunted and then spoke cleary, "Dad can I have $20? I'll put gas in the car."

I must be missing something. Didnt the critter ask me for $15 two days ago? And wasn't it just this week he needed money to get a haircut, new shoes, have his teeth cleaned, rent a video? (which he did offer to let me watch with him - worse thing I've seen since Ishtar).

Maybe I should confer with the critter about changing our pet dog's name from Roo to Sandy, and changing mine from Gate to Daddy Warbucks.

No thanks, I'll stick with the Redheaded Webfooted Camo Chicken anyday.

Father to the Critter that will single handedly kill the economic stimulus of any country.

$incerely,
"Im Not Bill" Gate(s)
 
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You've frightened me, Gate!! My eldest critter hasn't started driving yet, but is on the cusp. And she already thinks I have a money machine in my possession. And now you say she'll soon be drinking gasoline?
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And the movies I was requested to rent (after I refused to get something called 'Quarantine') are "Dawn of the Dead" or "Apacolypse Now". I'd rather watch Ishtar! But decided I could tolerate Apocalypse Now.

I can see why you want to find the mythical Redheaded Webfooted Camo Chicken. You want to believe in miracles!
 
There are snipes in my woods, perhaps I can get some one in my neighborhood to help me catch some of them. I think I can squeeze a few eggs out of her to send to you since we can't find you that special chicken you are looking for !
 
ooooooo, I haven't taken anyone snipe hunting since I was a teenager! Fond memories there! We never actually caught one. Silly city folk always gave in too soon, whining about the brambles and spooky noises and all those twinkling things in the sky that they'd never seen before.
 
I have a snipe, but being nocturnal I don't see it much. I will gladly swap it to a night owl for ??????????????
 
Okay, this may sound stupid, but someone please explain the snipe hunt thing to me.

I seem to understand it as a tradition to take the city folk out and waste time looking for something that does not exist, however......

"Dove, coot, snipe hunters need migratory
bird stamp; all need HIP survey
by Don Kraege, WDFW Waterfowl Program Manager

This year for the first time Washington dove, coot, and snipe hunters are required to purchase what is now called the state "migratory bird stamp" (formerly known as the state waterfowl or duck stamp.)"

Taken from Washington State Wildlife page
 
I have a two year old "Gimme", it's barely potty trained, climbs on everything and tends to jump off the couch and boy does it ever WHINE, on occasion you will catch it peeing on the floor, most of the time it laughs and runs away!!! I will trade for anything
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oh I have one of those, it feeds mostly on cookies and home made brownies with a decent supply of protein and a few veggies mixed in. Not house trained yet, but can climb almost anything, very limber and quick moving. Often seen as a naked blur running full speed through out living quarters. Requires at least 10 hours of sunlight and minimum of 2 hours of noggin a day. I am actually looking for another of these if any one has one I would like a pair
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LOL I should add that mine also feeds mostly on fruit snacks, and grill cheese, it will eat veggies but you have to catch it, pin it in a chair and let it sit for about 15 mins and refuse to let it out... Mine also tends to be a naked blur HAHAHA!
 

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